£75 on a box of chocolates!

[Squareroot]

My dad has dementia & is in a care home, the staff are mostly lovely to him & mostly he’s lovely back. My sister said she’d buy them some nice chocolates for Christmas as a thank you, like we did last year. Fine. But she’s just told me it’s £25 each, between me, her & my brother! My sister is retired but well off, brother too but I’m not & struggle every month. AIBU to tell her she should have checked with us first on how much these were going to cost? I thought it would be a tenner & now I feel I can’t say anything cos she’s bought them. I appreciate cocoa prices have skyrocketed since last year but FFS…

She definitely didn’t just buy a tin of quality street! I think that’s a bit much and you need to tell her so

The answer to this is very simple.

You may feel like you cannot say anything but you must.

She made the decision to buy ridiculously priced chocolates when the staff would probably be just as happy with a box of Quality Street.

Is it one box???? Could it be several boxes she's bought I'd want to see receipt lol.. I hope she bought 7 boxes for that price.

I think you need to say something.
Even if you suck it up this time. "Hoy sis there's the money, but next year I'll sort my own gift as I can't really afford £25"

Actually multiple boxes makes more sense. I was thinking that people can be wary of eating from a communal box at work, unless its like hero's individually wrapped

If your brother is well off then just ask him to pay your part

I don't think that's fair as the two people whose fault it isn't, is the OP and her brother.

The sister should definitely have checked before buying something so extravagent.

It could be argued that the OP should've checked how much she wanted before she bought them, but to be fair most people don't think something like that is going to cost £75.

Yep.. give them expensive chocolates that they touch, change their minds and spread flu round.. merry Christmas staff.
Just googled and yes some places sell ridiculous priced chocolates.

They're getting paid. Your dad is no doubt paying for his care.

I've given up swearing, but you're allowed to say to your sister what Kathy Burke said to Helena Bonham Carter-" Fck off, you stupid cnt."

What’s laughable is that the workers would probably much rather the £75.

Imagine if you said ‘Here’s 75 quid to take to the pub, so you can all have a few drinks on us’.

Or if you gave 7 of them a tenners worth of M&S voucher each.

I’m a chocolate fiend and even I consider that a total waste of money.

I read the last line as

"I’m a chocolate friend and even I consider that a total waste of money."

Nearly bedtime for me I reckon 👀😂

Very true. Imagine a poor lactose intolerant staff member missing out on that gold encrusted truffle with edible flowers on top.

Op you need to find out what exactly was purchased, and who it was given too. I'm thinking a nursing home must have loads of staff, between the shifts.

Actually, they’ll probably really appreciate that someone valued them enough to give them a luxury gift rather than the cheapest bulk tub they could find, but it’s OK to say to your sister, “I can’t afford that much”.

Yeah but being valued isn't about the money spent.

A tub of chocolates and some heartfelt words in a Christmas card is often appreciated far more.

Otherwise it can just depend on who has the biggest wallet.

YANBU.

Sounds like it might be a large box from hotel chocolat. We got given one last year although it was about £79 then.
They do have various sizes, so one might be £75 this year.
It was okay, but not worth the money, imho.

I'd message her and say woahhh 75 quid for chocs? Do I get shares in wonkas factory too?

Lovely gesture sis much appreciated however I wish you had asked first and maybe I should have told you my budget as it's a lot of money in my circumstances. Thank you though.

Send the 25 but maybe she will realise to think first.

A £25 contribution to chocolates is crazy so my question is have you bought your sister a Christmas present that is returnable?

If so, can you return her present and buy her something cheaper?

I would be inclined to let her know that it will be Christmas without the turkey for you - just a sausage or two - hopefully that will make her realise just how her thoughtlessness has affected you.

I’m thinking it could be one box- when you think of the cost of supermarket chocolate boxes now I’d assume any size of eg butlers or Thorntons that are bigger than a box of six must cost the earth!! Op you have to say something, that is horrific money!!

You nailed it Tinsel. Dad’s been there long enough for us to get to know some of the staff, not well but enough to be able to have a meaningful conversation with. I’d hate for them to just think we’re measuring their worth by a massive ostentatious box of overpriced chocolates. Especially as, over the years, we’ve seen various other residents die. It’s not what Christmas is all about. And my dad would be mortified at us spending that money!