To ask what helped you with postpartum loneliness?

[LycheeLover89]

Second time mum with a 6 week and a toddler. I have a present and involved DH and practical support from my parents. DS1 is acting out in the ways you might expect when a new sibling comes along, DS2 is suffering from silent reflux and doesn’t tolerate being put down for long at all. I’m baby wearing and chest sleeping to help with that. From the minute I get up to bedtime I’m in the go, bouncing between both DS. DH WFH a few days a week and DM pops in most days for at least a few hours. I have a lot of practical help, but which I am grateful for, and though I’m never really alone, I feel so lonely. The weather, DS2 not yet having had his 8 week jabs and all the colds and viruses doing the rounds mean I’m not yet going out and about to baby groups, classes, etc and we are limiting visitors. The evenings are the worst, when DS2 is hard to settle and only wants me, not DH. I can end up spending a few hours alone in the bedroom pacing, rocking, feeding. What practically has helped other mums deal with postpartum loneliness?

Hey - I wouldn’t worry about vaccinations, your baby will have maternal immunity for the first few months. Getting out of the house to baby groups kept me sane when I had a newborn and toddler. Find one where the timing works with your routine though, otherwise you’ll add to your stress!
Also, do whatever you need to get you through the first months, TV for the toddler, easy meals, all ok.

Solidarity. My son is 16 months and I still have not shaken that loneliness feeling. It's keeping me from ever having a second tbh.

Also, my DS's silent reflux turned out to be CMPA FYI. I also had to sleep with him on my chest, lots of crying in the evening, couldn't put down, v grumpy. I wished I had looked into it sooner rather than later. GP fobbed me off and said not to cut anything out of my diet and that it's impossible for DS to react to the small amount of dairy in my breastmilk....thank god I didn't listen to him in the end!

Thanks for your reply. How did you work out it was CMPA? What were the signs?

Video chats with friends and family helped.
I also joined a women’s only dance class one night a week.
DH did the bedtime routine. I pumped so he could bottle feed breast milk.
I played a lot with the toddler.

My babies also had reflux. I did inclined sleeping for them- it’s safer than chest sleeping and meant I got sleep. I did find out through use of a food journal that they were reacting to anything acidic that I ate. So I cut citrus, spicy foods, coffee, tea, fizzy drinks from my diet and that massively reduced the reflux, projectile vomiting, and hours of wailing and obvious gastric distress in them.

Silent reflux, couldn't lie him down, stomach ache, upset during and after breastfeeding, lots of crying in the evening. I gave up dairy and soy and within about 7-10 days he was a totally different baby.

I reintroduced dairy in my diet at 5 months and all the symptoms started again. So I removed dairy again. We tried dairy when he was 12 months (the dairy ladder) and he still didn't tolerate it.