Another MIL post

[ThatMintDreamer]

First post and apologies for rambling on !
my husband of 15 years has a fall out earlier this year , he had been messaging other women looking for admiration and affirmation. I kicked him out to stay with his mum , I was very close to his mum before this but she totally cut off contact with me when this happened.
i have no family and she was my only family member so I contacted her explaining that I was very alone and feeling very upset , she said she hadn’t contacted me as she didn’t want to be seen to “take sides” I confirmed I didn’t want to involve her but just missed her company.
She didn’t get in touch.
My husband went to counselling and has moved home and we are slowly rebuilding our relationship, I cannot forgive his mum for ignoring me when I needed support ?
husband wants her round for Christmas, how do I deal with this ?

I would hazard a guess that your H told a rather different story to his mum. I'm thinking it was along the lines of "Mint has become irrationally jealous about my female colleague and I'm devastated she's thrown me out..."

I find that incredibly cold and callous her son was cheating on you and she said she didn't want to take sides ?

Is there a side to take ? Surely you can remain neutral ,speak to your son and show sympathy to the woman who let you into her life and has reached out feeling extremely alone and vulnerable??
I think you should be honest op and tell her how you feel.

Probably because there are always different sides to each story and the OP’s version also might not be true.

Uptime though, most mothers will stand by their child even if they do believe they are the one in the wrong.

The OPs MiL may not have even heard her side of the story. Unfortunately the 'too close to a colleague' issue is often rather nebulous.
The difference between the husband having an emotional affair and the man who's controlling wife won't allow him to be friends with a colleague often comes down to who is relating the story.

She will always support her son over you, can’t understand why you would think otherwise!

She has demonstrated that your relationship was never genuinely built on love and affection. Go forward with your interactions with her on this basis. She is in your life because she birthed your DH. Nothing more, nothing less.

I have a good relationship with my MIL. She told me that when her and FIL split up, her MIL took the ‘side’ of her son (FIL) and cut contact with her. Shortly after, FIL died and his mother was essentially cut out of the picture. She is very elderly now and always eager to see DH and our children but DH couldn’t really care less about her as she was largely absent. You reap what you sow!

There's nothing to forgive her for, she didn't do anything wrong. She's his mum, not yours. No matter what he did wrong or how close you and MIL were, he's her child, her loyalty will always be to him, not you.

If you're forgiving him and taking him back, I think the only thing you can do regarding your feelings about MIL is suck it up and get on with it.