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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if this is normal mum life (6 month old)?

31 replies

Bethymum · 13/12/2025 15:52

I’m struggling and feel like I’m the only one.

I’m struggling to do the following:
-Find time to cook/eat
-Go to the toilet
-Just sit down for a bit while he does something independently

As a result I’m losing weight and just generally not healthy, losing hair also and skin is bad.

He is quite a fussy baby I suspect due to his temperament but also food allergy (in the process of investigating), but I’m so drained. I feel like a failure because everyone talks about the newborn stage and so at 6 months I feel like I shouldn’t be finding it so hard still. I suppose the main thing is I’m constantly rushing and so I never feel calm and it’s started to take its toll. For example I might rush to put some clothes on before he starts getting upset that I’m not carrying him etc

I am rambling but I suppose my question is. Is it normal to wonder if this is normal mum life? How people cope with multiple children is beyond me. I have a lot of family support and my husband is great but I still feel overwhelmed. I feel like my other nct mums for example seem like they have it together and I’m so frazzled :( I had a successful career before and it feels weird to feel so rubbish at something. I am trying so hard. The house is also an absolute tip now as I can’t find the time to do any tidying.

OP posts:
Dulcie6 · 15/12/2025 02:38

Totally normal. It is SO hard initially. I found it hard until my kids got to about 3 if in honest, but the problems kind of change as you go along.

This sounds wild, but hear me out .. having a 2nd kid really changes things. I feel like with the first, you still cling on to your old life. You still miss it and wish you had the time to do the things you used to do. You have the 2nd and then fully accept your old life is over. You accept you have no time to do anything, you don’t have time to clean the house etc and I just accepted it and slept when the baby slept etc instead of trying to do it all. It’s not possible to do it all.

I’ve just had my 3rd and totally given up on achieving anything other than keeping everyone alive!

It does get easier though. My older 2 are 5 and 8 and it’s a piece of piss compared to when they were younger.

Amba1998 · 15/12/2025 02:49

This is what society does - makes out only the newborn days are when you will be in the trenches but actually it’s everything else particularly like you say 6 months when they go through the object permenance stage and realise you’ve gone out the room and scream so yes what you’re going through is normal! The newborn stage is the easiest imo!

What I do -

  • get up earlier to shower dress have breakfast exercise etc
  • Toys in high chair while cooking / doing things
  • bouncer or mat with toys while doing things - can do this in bathroom if you need to shower
  • try and get into some form of nap routine so you get some time to sit down with a brew / do things
Original poster
Bethymum · 15/12/2025 09:03

BabyLikesMsRachel · 13/12/2025 21:00

Sounds totally normal. Mine are 7, 4 and 1 and the 'constantly rushing' feeling has been my life for over 7yrs now tbh. The older two are a lot more independent now of course but the 1yo is still super needy, also mobile and just cnt be left anyway unless contained and then usually screams blue murder. But yes I did leave all my children for a few mins here or there to shower, get dressed, make a sandwich or hot drink and eat and drink them, yes, if I had to. I don't like to and I'd try to avoid it but sometimes it's unavoidable. I wouldn't miss a meal or get a headache from being dehydrated or skip going out somewhere (which is what lack of getting dressed or whatever would lead to) just to avoid a few mins crying much as I'd hate to listen to it. The baby will be absolutely fine afterwards once comforted.

My DC1 cried most of the time anyway tbh until they were about 1. DC2 was the easiest one of the three. DC3 in between but on the flip side the worst sleeper and would often scream hysterically for hours and hours at night, still does sometimes. So yeah I know what that's all like too. That all does get easier as they age.

Thank you. Did dc1 have a tolerance or anything wise going on or just not the happiest baby? How are they now?

OP posts:
Seymourdemure · 15/12/2025 09:17

All 3 of mine were like this and it was only as they got older that we realised they had inherited allergies from DH that he didn't fully know that he had at that point.

I obviously didn't have any of the allergies and was exclusively breastfeeding them all, and regularly eating everything they were allergic to.

We were actually talking about how allergy belly feels to them yesterday, they said it almost feels like very bad hunger pangs, so I imagine that's what it felt like when they were babies too.

They cried constantly, never slept properly, my house was a tip, I couldn't keep up with the laundry and I just felt like I was failing all of the time because they needed so much comforting and attention.

BabyLikesMsRachel · 15/12/2025 19:29

@BethymumNo, no medical issues. She just gradually grew out of the constant crying as she got older. At 7 she's healthy, caring, creative, popular with her peers, fantastic big sister to her siblings. She does however remain a very emotional and sensitive child. I think it's just her personality...takes after me! I was also a baby who cried relentlessly apparently!

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 15/12/2025 20:19

Do you have a partner OP? If so, make sure they have the baby in the evening and prep for the next day. Get clothes out, I used to make myself a packed lunch, packed snacks, bottle of drink etc. Refill nappy bag. Shower and dress in the morning before they leave for work.

If friends or family offer help, take it! Mine used to offer to clean or whatever, I used to hand them the baby and clean myself

I had one clingy that cried and one that wasn't and didn't. There was NO changing the clingy one and honestly felt like my heart was being pulled out so just didn't put him down. Its not forever.

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