I want time off!

BastetBaby · 2025-12-13T15:45:13+00:00

I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't have some time off. My DD is nearly 2. She doesn't go to nursery. I look after her Monday-Thursday. Then I work Friday and Saturday morning and my partner looks after DD. DD is an awful sleeper (wakes, on average 4 times a night). I co-sleep with her out of necessity. She's also trying to drop her last nap. (She rarely naps before 4pm these days and consequently goes to bed late - 10pm some nights.) I'm finding myself longing for time to myself to do hobbies or just watch TV. Right now I'm resorting to screen time just so I can sit in silence. I feel terribly guilty for wanting something I can't have! I feel like I should enjoy looking after DD more! She's going to stop napping completely soon so I need to get used to no breaks... But I feel like I'm going insane!

mondaytosunday · 13/12/2025 15:49

You don’t get a break from being a parent. But the co sleeping - really I wouldn’t be putting up with that. If you want to fine, but get some sort of routine in place where she is going down by 7.30 and you have an evening to yourself. Don’t let her nap as late as 4. Maybe get some professional help with her constant waking.

Original poster

BastetBaby · 13/12/2025 15:53

mondaytosunday · 13/12/2025 15:49

You don’t get a break from being a parent. But the co sleeping - really I wouldn’t be putting up with that. If you want to fine, but get some sort of routine in place where she is going down by 7.30 and you have an evening to yourself. Don’t let her nap as late as 4. Maybe get some professional help with her constant waking.

In bed by 7:30? 😅😅 Maybe when she drops her nap...

OP posts:

Twinkletwinklelil · 13/12/2025 15:56

Your situation sounded much like mine but I decided to have another baby too lol. It’s even harder now to get any time to myself. But tbh with one 2yo I didn’t find it hard.
the sleep thing- dropping the nap really might help. It helped me massively. Now he sleeps at 7 until 6.30.
are you breastfeeding? Once I stopped I found sleep was much better.

can you put her in nursery? Even just a few half Days?

bizkittt · 13/12/2025 15:58

You need to completely drop the nap. 4pm is far too late. Yeah she’ll be grumpy but she seems that way anyway and will go to bed earlier.

Poms · 13/12/2025 15:59

Actually, you can have a break from parenting. When my dc were young every couple of months, and with DH’s full support, I would go and stay in a hotel for a couple of nights. Is this something you could consider?

way2serious · 13/12/2025 16:00

You need to sort out the napping / bedtime situation. My son dropped his naps quite early and definitely wasn’t allowed to nap after 4pm. This did mean that some evening he was asleep v early - often by 6pm on a Friday. He did wake during the night for a long time and I used to co sleep so we both got some sleep as I was working full time. It does get better … eventually!!

Original poster

BastetBaby · 13/12/2025 16:01

Twinkletwinklelil · 13/12/2025 15:56

Your situation sounded much like mine but I decided to have another baby too lol. It’s even harder now to get any time to myself. But tbh with one 2yo I didn’t find it hard.
the sleep thing- dropping the nap really might help. It helped me massively. Now he sleeps at 7 until 6.30.
are you breastfeeding? Once I stopped I found sleep was much better.

can you put her in nursery? Even just a few half Days?

Yeah still breastfeeding. We've dropped the night feeds which has helped - she still wakes up, but settling her is quicker. I honestly think she just a light sleeper. It's quite noisy at night where we live but we're moving soon, so I'm hoping that'll help her sleep. We're also going to move her to her own room (gently) which I think will help as well.

We've applied for some nurseries. It'll be another 6 months probably. But I feel bad putting her in nursery just so I can rest!

Also, so much respect for anyone with more than one child!

OP posts:

sciaticafanatica · 13/12/2025 16:03

Drop the nap.
set a routine.
put her in nursery one morning or afternoon a week

Twinkletwinklelil · 13/12/2025 16:06

BastetBaby · 13/12/2025 16:01

Yeah still breastfeeding. We've dropped the night feeds which has helped - she still wakes up, but settling her is quicker. I honestly think she just a light sleeper. It's quite noisy at night where we live but we're moving soon, so I'm hoping that'll help her sleep. We're also going to move her to her own room (gently) which I think will help as well.

We've applied for some nurseries. It'll be another 6 months probably. But I feel bad putting her in nursery just so I can rest!

Also, so much respect for anyone with more than one child!

Show quote history

Yea you’re living my life lol we moved and had that hope too.
but the breastfeeding ending really helped. He was more clingy but it’s been great for us all. When baby2 came he was in his own room, dad settling him-he woke for a drink and that’s it. He was still napping then and bedtime was horrendous, late like you said 10pm.
nap drop was a transition, he led it.. the grouchiness in the afternoon was rough but you have to push through it and it all sorts itself out.

I know it’s really tough, but I do miss the co sleeping! The hard times don’t always last.. I promise!

I definitely think you need to find some you time, some how. Can family help?

WutheringTights · 13/12/2025 16:10

When mine dropped their naps I insisted on them having “quiet time” in their rooms instead. It gave me 45 minutes to myself each day, which was a lifeline. Maybe try something like that? They could play quietly with toys or look at books, anything so long as it was quiet and in their rooms, which were safe and comfortable. They also benefitted from some calm time to themselves so it was win win.

Original poster

BastetBaby · 13/12/2025 16:20

WutheringTights · 13/12/2025 16:10

When mine dropped their naps I insisted on them having “quiet time” in their rooms instead. It gave me 45 minutes to myself each day, which was a lifeline. Maybe try something like that? They could play quietly with toys or look at books, anything so long as it was quiet and in their rooms, which were safe and comfortable. They also benefitted from some calm time to themselves so it was win win.

I love the idea of this. I have been trying to teach DD to do this. She's a bit little still and needs me to support her, but she's making progress, so I think this will definitely be part of our routine one day.

OP posts:

BlueberrySugarPie · 13/12/2025 18:08

mondaytosunday · 13/12/2025 15:49

You don’t get a break from being a parent. But the co sleeping - really I wouldn’t be putting up with that. If you want to fine, but get some sort of routine in place where she is going down by 7.30 and you have an evening to yourself. Don’t let her nap as late as 4. Maybe get some professional help with her constant waking.

Why do people say things like this? Of course you can have a bloody break! This is why parents get pushed to their limits and end up with burnout and misery.

OP, if someone else can take them for a night, even a few nights, grab the opportunity and take time for yourself. The only thing that keeps me sane with DD5 is that my ex has her 2 nights a week. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for looking after your needs.

JMSA · 13/12/2025 18:11

Ditching the breastfeeding and nap would work, I think.