To get married if we don’t have children?

[whatnooow]

DP and I have been together for 10 years and talking about getting married, no children involved and unlikely to be in the future, We’re both late 30s

Lots of people seem to say it’s pointless if you’re not going to have children, and it’s a good few say If they had their time again, they wouldn’t get married at all.

Id like to get married as I’d feel like we are actually real “family” to one another then, as we don’t have that tie via a child. I suppose my question is, am I just being silly wanting to be married as it’s not serving any real, contractual purpose, like if we had children?

Marriage does not have to mean having children, neither does it mean having to adopt your husband's surname if you don't wish to.

Go for it, have the day you wish to, and celebrate with who you would like to be there.

Marriage isn't reserved for people who want to make babies...

Marriage is about committing to each other (in the eyes of God more traditionally!) and although becoming married makes you a family, that doesn’t always 100% mean children.

I think getting married is a lovely show of love and commitment to each other, with or without DC. Definitely not pointless! I’m not sure I’d listen to unhappy people, they’re not going to be giving you anything positive to listen to 😊

There are still legal advantages to being married whether you have children or not.

No, of course you're not being silly. Being married has sod all to do with children, it's about your commitment to each other. Get married if it's what you both want and ignore the naysayers, it's your life.

If one of you needed hospital treatment, you'd want to advocate for each other.

No kids here.
We're married.
We wanted to.
If you want to get married then just do it

I’ve never heard that you can only get married if you want children! That memo hasn’t reached my friends either! Just do what you want, it’s not going to bother anyone else.

Marriage is security for one another should anything happen. There are practical financial reasons as well as it also being fine to marry "just" for love and because you want to.

I’ve never associated being married with having children.

Getting married is a double-edged sword. It makes you next of kin (important for being able to keep a joint property if one dies rather than forced to sell up and give half to OH's sibling, for example, also for emergency medical issues/decisions) but it also means if you divorce OH can potentially take half your pension etc. You could just make wills regarding property. It's a big decision, so look into it carefully with regard to your particular circumstances. Don't get married to show/prove how in love you are. You don't need it for that. It's very much a contract with legal ramifications.

If you want to get married, get married.
My late DH and I were married for nearly 33 years, no children. It's not mandatory.

I don't feel much changed in my relationship immediately when I got married, but how people treated me and us as a couple changed significantly. Like we were more grown up or something. Certain things changed within the families, little things like spending Christmas with one family or another and not separating as we used to. Extended family got to meet and know DH around the wedding in a way they didn't previously. The most significant thing was when a family member was very seriously ill weeks after the wedding and we were trying to keep vigil at hospital. We were told it's strictly family only but as Dh was a son in law he was included. I think being my boyfriend or partner wouldnt have counted, maybe we could make a case i don't know hospital policy but it was easier this way and I remember in that moment being grateful I was married. The person died and Dh was beside me at the bedside. I know that's a very specific example but I'm sure there are other legal and social scenarios where its easier to be seen married than not.

My husband and I are married, no kids. We did it because we wanted to make the commitment to one another, and have a big party with our families.

Do what you want, it's your life and you only get one of them!

I don’t think marriage is only for the purpose of having children. It’s just I’ve just had a few comments from people at work etc basically saying they’d never get married again if they had the choice to go back, I suppose they may be married to shitty men though to be fair.

And that the only benefit they have from the marriage, is the protection for their income, which they needed because they had kids. I just kinda felt like people were perplexed that I’d want to get married, but there won’t be any children involved

Wanting to be married is a great reason to get married

The people telling you that are talking shite.
I mean, if marriage was about having kids then no one over 40 would get married.

DH and I are both tax accountants, we got married because it aligned with how we wanted to build and pass on our assets as a joint venture. We are both romantic people, and see our life together as a pursuit of happiness, fun, and an equal contribution of effort. However, marriage was definitely a cold hearted legal decision, the point of which was, do we want to build and tie our assets in accordance with a marriage contract, children didn't come into it.

There are also considerable advantages with regard to inheritance tax for couples who are married or in a civil partnership:

https://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2025/01/martin-lewis--the-nine-big-financial-benefits-of-being-married/

Surely this depends on how the property is owned. If it's owned as joint tenants and a spouse has left it to their sibling it would need to be sold. It would only default to the other spouse if it was owned as joint tenants. Tenants in common is becoming more popular these days with estate planning

DH and I would have got married, even if we were over 40 and had no kids, because of the advantages with regard to inheritance tax.

We also own our house, as tenants in common, as part of our estate planning.