Drinking culture & women in business

[crawlingovertheline]

In my profession there’s a reasonably high profile business run by a thirty - forty something woman. She’s been really successful and has built a fantastic business and I really admire what she’s done.

What I can’t get my head around (I’m a bit older and quite boring) is the culture of drinking apparent. Every social media post or blog is celebrating or mentioning the wine the fizz the cocktails the whiskey.

Literally every blog post ends with some reference to alcohol. the culture in the firm is young and hip. She has kids so somewhere there are children waiting whilst she’s drinking her whiskey sours in the cocktail bar..

AIBU that promoting a culture of alcohol in business is not great? I don’t know why but it just feels weird.

It feels a bit weird that you’ve thought about it so much. The content might be curated, not real.

A. don’t believe everything you read on sm

B. Are you judging her because she’s a woman who drinks. The comment about the kids at home waiting for her reeks of misogyny.

C. Get your own life.

Fair enough. I had an mother who drank a lot so I guess that’s why I’m mulling it over in my head. Thanks.
(I’m not a misogynist btw. I’m a woman and have been in business for 35 years with my own companies. About as far from it as is possible)

The whole principle of marketing is that you promote the product. I find drinking culture tiresome and grim but thats how she makes a living.

People in hospitality have done this for centuries. Why is this any different? Is it because she’s a woman?

There exists a certain number of people who are very open about their alcohol abuse. It normalises the abnormal and allows them to think that what they're doing is ok because, look, there are other people cheering them on and doing the same! Piss artists are very good at finding other piss artists to justify their own piss artistry. It's like some boozy kind of gaydar.

If you've spent time with some manners of relationship with someone who has a problematic relationship with alcohol you learn to spot the signs. One thing I've spotted as a common thread is the number of people who manage to keep their alcohol problem more or less under control until they hit their forties and at that point it all starts to fall apart. I've seen it with my ex, I've seen it in friends, I've seen it in Al-Anon, I've read about it in autobiographies such as the one by Clarissa Dickson Wright. Most people grow out of their drunk phase in their 20s but some people don't and they're the people who are likely to go on to die a drunk's death.

I’ve had after work drinks, award ceremonies, Christmas parties, and have enjoyed a drink at them all. I can assure you my children aren’t ‘waiting’ in the wings whilst I enjoy my food and drink. They’re at home, being cuddled, fed, and read to by their very capable father.

Also the ‘young and hip’ don’t really drink these days!!

I think you’re massively over thinking this, and tbh, if you’re a “bit older” and in business I’m surprised you’re surprised. Professional women have long had a drink, the culture of Friday pub lunches has long been prevalent, sending out bottles of wine, clients sending in bottles of wine. 20-30 years ago no alcohol needs to be bought at Christmas-all supplied by employer and clients.

Note I managed to not turn into an alcoholic in my 40s lol.

Britain has a drinking culture. Assuming the business is in Britain it’s little surprise if the business has a drinking culture too.

The question I have is why is this a problem, it sounds like it’s more rooted in your personal history

If you're judging a woman for her poor mites waiting at home while mummy necks whiskey sours, and don't when men do, you are a misogynist.

No this isn’t what I mean. It’s the marketing of the firm being centred around a drinking culture with the reference to alcohol at any opportunity.

Its Friday = get the Margaritas in
We’ve written a white paper = relax with a whiskey
It’s budget day = get the beers in
New team member = pop the fizz
New service available = champagne in the office to celebrate

You get the gist.

I just think promoting a drinking culture so publicly is unhealthy when the reality is it can wreck lives.

Without judging this woman about whom I know nothing, I entirely agree with you that the promotion of drinking as central to success, happiness, and being a fun, fiesty independent woman is a health crisis waiting to happen.
Its also a big fat lie. Because if ever a woman needed a way to be taken less seriously in business, its to develop a drink problem. There is way less tolerance for a woman who 'over does it' than for a man.

Still, it gives you something to judge doesn't it?

So happy days for you I guess.

So, do you have issues with all promotion of alcohol and drinking culture? If so, why have you chosen to focus on this woman, who by the sounds of it, has her life pretty together?

‘Children waiting whilst she’s drinking her whiskey sours in the cocktail bar’ is just random and shitty. You know nothing about her life. You’re being judgmental and everything you write is steeped in internalised misogyny.

I don't know how much older than this woman in her 40s that you are, but if you're much older (say mid 50s plus) do you remember the 80s, 90s and early 2000s? If so you surely can't be surprised about work drinking.

Do young hip people drink much these days?
Do a few social media posts turn people into alcoholics?

From the examples of celebrations you give her company is achieving and very successful. It doesn't exactly sound like Gin Lane.

"I’m not a misogynist btw. I’m a woman and have been in business for 35 years with my own companies."

Those things are not mutually exclusive.

If you look at trends you'll see that it's the Boomers and GenX who are more likely to drink excessively than Millennials or GenZ. People in their 20s today simply aren't drinking as much as people in their 20s in the 80s or 90s were.

I mean I have to agree it all sound a bit 2002
and not particularly likely to work as a marketing tool at all, especially around young people.

Yes, I have done all of those things. I like a drink, I like chocolate, I like all sorts of things that I know are not good for me. But I have never equated my enjoyment of these things with ‘children waiting around’ whilst I do them. It’s never happened.

i grew up in France where the drinking culture is way more prevalent than the UK, I was surprised at how normalised not having a drink is here. So maybe I’m not the best person to ask!

Literally every blog post ends with some reference to alcohol. the culture in the firm is young and hip. She has kids so somewhere there are children waiting whilst she’s drinking her whiskey sours in the cocktail bar..

presumably they have a dad.
Wind your neck in

Women in business get enough shit from men, without other women piling on too.

I get fed up with the normalisation of alcohol being the only way to celebrate.

I wish they would publicise the down side of drinking as much as they do the promotion of it.

I think I would be concerned about this woman's liver and her health OP. But no more so than other people's whose lives give the appearance of revolving around drink.

She has kids so somewhere there are children waiting whilst she’s drinking her whiskey sours in the cocktail bar..

Something nobody would say about her if she was a man.

She’s allowed a social life. She’s allowed to enjoy a drink. She’s only blogging one aspect of her life, which is these events. For every post you see of her with a glass of something, there are probably 10 nights of her life where she’s at home drinking a cuppa.

I’m sorry your mum was an alcoholic but you can’t project that insecurity on to everyone else.

There is a massive difference between having a couple of drinks at an event once a week and being a problem drinker. And it’s actually none of your business either way which she is.

’Concerned’

It isn’t concern for her, so don’t pretend it is. It’s judgement of a total stranger.

Well actually I'm in no position to " judge" any one when it comes to alcohol. My adult life has been a battle when it comes to alcohol. And will always be even though I no longer drink.

Contrary to your view point it is possible to have concern for someone, even a total stranger, without judging them.

Being a woman doesn’t prevent you from being a misogynist. You clearly have some very old fashioned views about how women and mothers Should and should not Behave.

Ive also been in business for nearly three decades. I’m a mother (adults now) I like a drink. (I’m writing this in the pub). Judge away!