Is my ‘fun’ budget measly/stingy compared to income?

[Budgetquestion]

Views welcome after a discussion I’ve just had with my DH who feels I’m being too restrictive with my budget and need to let loose a bit more. I admit to having a scarcity mindset with money and am trying to work on this but would appreciate others views.

My income - c.£3000
Share of MTG/utility bills - £900
Share of childcare (nursery) - £50
Personal bills (petrol/phone/spotify etc. Include hair in this) - £200
Food (including DC’s) - £450
Social/Fun- £240 (basically allocate £60 per weekend so basing on a 4 week month)
Sinking fund (servicing/car insurance/christmas etc) - £100
Savings/Investments - remaining c.£1000

Any bigger costs in terms of weekends away, clothes or holidays (none since DC arrived in 2024) I just take from the leftover before it’s put in savings/investments. So I don’t deprive myself, but do feel I should maybe treat myself more by allocating money in the initial budget. I have been a bit too obsessed with saving in the past I think.

My car is paid off so no monthly for that.

Also put £100 of savings interest into the sinking fund. £100 CB per month goes into joint account to assist with other DC associated costs.

No, I’m similar and save similar. I come from a poor background and having savings/paying off my mortgage is my priority over fun spend. I can have fun that doesn’t cost much! Books from the library, clothes off Vinted etc etc.

Yeah I am similar in a way. Tomorrow I’ve planned a walk in a park and a coffee with a friend which I’ll really enjoy and it won’t be costly.

How are you sharing costs with your partner? I probably have about 350 a month for fun but meals with kids, beauty treatments, clothes and other things like mini breaks and dates tend to come out of other pots. But ours is calculated as coming from our joint income so we both have equal fun spends.

If you're content then you're doing it right for you. I too am a library kinda gal. As long as you're salting away the excess sensibly (ISAs, pensions, bonds, etc) then crack on.

How does your DH think you ought to be spending it? How does he spend it?

Bills are proportionate to income, I do earn more. Our left over money is our own and not put in joint account.

To be fair he isn’t telling me how to spend it. It’s more he points out if I’m weighing up a purchase and saying I don’t feel I will have enough money left over that I will have more than enough. And that I should treat myself more often.

He is sensible but spends more freely than me.

I have reached a savings target this month as we will look to move house in the next couple of years and will want to put down a further deposit. So I think I can be a bit more ‘loose’ in 2026, I also want to put more in my S&S ISA as my split has been 75/25 in favour of savings.

I earn a bit more and give myself the same as you! If we go on holiday it comes from savings but generally £250 is enough fun money for me to have a coffee or a takeaway here and there and get the bits and bobs I need. Occasionally, I’ll dip into savings for a big ticket item (e.g we just got a robovac on Black Friday), but I’d prefer to save/invest more on a monthly basis and then take some out if I really need/want something than to give myself loads of fun money to spend on frivolous things.

I actually used to spend £500 a month and noticed no difference when I cut back to £250 really because I spent the extra on random crap I didn’t really need.

OP, I earn slightly less than you and here’s the breakdown of my portion of the household expenses (I run each category as a sinking fund):

£55 pets
£87 cleaner
£89 clothes/shoes
£77 birthday/Christmas gifts
£200 groceries
£363 holidays
£95 meals/coffees out
£69 miscellaneous
£74 kids’ clothes/shoes
£52 ParentPay
£65 pocket money
£22 school uniform
£200 uni savings fund
£13 dentist
£28 optometrist
£71 beauty
£48 car
£11 fitness app
£563 mortgage/bills
£5 mobile
£8 budgeting app
£194 stocks & shares ISA
£554 mortgage overpayment

Your mortgage plus bills is quite low.

for me it would depend on whether you have stuff you are saving for - eg do you currently live in a shoebox and want to move somewhere bigger?

That’s really organised! I expect I’ll look to do similar once DC is school age x

Yes - aiming to move. Would need to take a slightly bigger Mortgage out plus inject a further c.50k between us from savings (which we already have).

I’ve been doing it this way for about 3 years, and it keeps me focussed (Do I really need to buy this?) and allows me to overpay on my mortgage every month.

If you want to spend more, you could.

But you don't have to and it could be that future you will thank you for it if you decide you want to work less or do something like start a business as you'll have money that allows you to pursue these.

You say your car is paid for, but you'll need money to buy a new one at some point and if you have a lot of money saved, you could think 'fuck it' and buy a fancy one.

Have a slightly lower amount and my DP says similar stuff to me about treating myself and not struggling and to enjoy myself. We earn the same now but he has always had a really well paying job and is used to having lots of fun money plus he has more savings than me whereas I want to build up my savings and am quite content on that much fun money. We have a joint account for fun stuff together though

Do you eat out much? Does that come out of fun money?

Probably once a month in terms of a restaurant or decent pub and yeah that pot usually covers it.

Thanks. I think your budget is fab and I aspire to it.