To not want 81 year old ex- FIL to drive my toddler

[Maybebaby10]

Just that. Ex- PILs apparently have got their own car seat and have been driving my child without me knowing. FIL is 81 and frail but still acts as MIL’s chauffeur. I have asked my ex not to let him drive our 2 year old but ex refuses to engage in this conversation.

I sympathise with you, I wouldn't like this either. However, if he's not fit to drive your child, he shouldn't be on the road. If he's not fit to drive, report him to the DVLA.

Depends if he's a good driver? I know plenty of people in their 80s who are more than capable, especially those who have had careers driving. An 87 year old friend drives up and down the country every week, no problem.

He is hesitant, slow to react and gets very worked up behind the wheel. I’ve been in a car with him before and that was a little while ago and did not feel he was a safe driver.

I felt like this about my MIL. And objectively I knew she shouldn’t be driving at all… it’s so hard as there’s no way to get them to stop.

Would a mediator be able to help?

i wouldn’t be happy wirh that either. reactions slow down greatly at that age.

the problem is we don’t need to pass an annual driving test over any age. it’s just presumed that we will stop when we feel unsafe.

like thats gonna happen in the majority of cases of elderly people who have bought a car and rely on it.…..

Sorry, you will have to report him if XH isn’t onside

Yabu. An accident can happen at any age.