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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is a breach?

32 replies

Pfpppl · 12/12/2025 15:10

A friend's son had an incident with the police that resulted in a referral to social services. They interviewed the family and said they would be contacting the child's school, but would not disclose the reason, just make the school aware there was an incident and ask if they had any concerns.

Her son has just advised her that the school have been told of the circumstances of the incident and as a result will be calling her to discuss. There will also be consequences at school now for the child.

This has come about the day after she received the report from SS confirming no further action, so she is suspicious that the full report was also shared with the school.

I've no experience of SS, but does this sound correct? Surely they can reach out to the school and ask if they have any concerns about a child without revealing details of why they are asking? Especially as this is what the social worker said they would do.

The report was also full of errors - stupid things like saying my friend advised them that her family are all up north, when they are in fact all local. Obviously she will be raising this with them, but she's more upset that the school know the details of the incident and how they will now be dealing with her child. Not to mention the fact her other child's school were also contacted and have probably been told the same details, even though said child was not involved in the incident in any way.

OP posts:
Fulloferrors · 12/12/2025 15:12

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Fulloferrors · 12/12/2025 15:13

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 12/12/2025 15:15

What's this story got in common with a baby delivered head first?

pikkumyy77 · 12/12/2025 15:16

Why is this any of your business?

NutButterOnToast · 12/12/2025 15:18

This kind of information sharing is for everyone's benefit OP.

There would be no reason for social services not to share full details with the school, the social worker was wrong and should not have said what they said.

GoldsolesLugs · 12/12/2025 15:18

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 12/12/2025 15:15

What's this story got in common with a baby delivered head first?

Wah-wah-wah

LeonMccogh · 12/12/2025 15:19

GoldsolesLugs · 12/12/2025 15:18

Wah-wah-wah

lol what!? 😂

Hoardasurass · 12/12/2025 15:21

Sorry but your friends son has done something or been involved in something that is a safeguarding concern and social services have a legal duty to inform the school even if SS decides not to take things further.
Any minor inaccuracies in the report should be taken up with SS

GoldsolesLugs · 12/12/2025 15:22

LeonMccogh · 12/12/2025 15:19

lol what!? 😂

Sad trombone, cos they made a cringe joke.

Fulloferrors · 12/12/2025 15:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

PinkKimono · 12/12/2025 15:28

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 12/12/2025 15:15

What's this story got in common with a baby delivered head first?

I am not sure your joke at the OP's expense works.

A baby being delivered head first is not called a "breach" birth is it?

A baby delivered feet or bottom first is called a "breech" birth. Not "breach".

Happy to be corrected though!

ParmaVioletTea · 12/12/2025 15:28

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 12/12/2025 15:15

What's this story got in common with a baby delivered head first?

That’s “breech”

Use your spell checker before you make smart Alec comments

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 15:32

Social services should not share information with other agencies unless it's proportionate for safeguarding enquiries. However, they can and should share the outlines of the concerns as if they don't, information risks being missed. This exact issue was highlighted in the Sara sharif enquiry - social workers were unsure how much they were allowed to share with a sibling's school so they were vague and important information was not gathered.

MissMoneyFairy · 12/12/2025 15:38

The police did tell you that they would be contacting the school, where is the breach, how old are the kids involved in the incident.

mydogisanidiott · 12/12/2025 15:42

I think the joke is no breach.

mydogisanidiott · 12/12/2025 15:44

Anyway yes police involved with someone at school then yes they need to know. How do they safeguard other students? Drugs, weapons, racism, theft, violence at at level that need police involvement is serious.

Many past cases where children have come to harm is when agencies have not worked together. It is need for the YP and the school community.

SamphiretheTervosaur · 12/12/2025 15:46

You are not being unreasonable to ask questions of what has happened. But it does sound as though SS consider whatever it was he did to be severe and potentially dangerous enough for others, including his sibling for schools to be informed so they too can put appropriate safeguarding in place.

You may wish to support your friend but agreeing that SS are wrong, that they have done wrong is probably not the best way to do that in the long term

Pfpppl · 12/12/2025 16:00

pikkumyy77 · 12/12/2025 15:16

Why is this any of your business?

Thanks for your helpful response. Because my friend is upset and wants to know whether SS were right to share details when they said they wouldn't. I've never been on this situation so don't know. And she knows I've posted on here to ask.

OP posts:
Pfpppl · 12/12/2025 16:11

Without wanting to share the exact details, imagine something along the lines of the kid being caught shop lifting. First time doing it, egged on by a mate. And now school are saying they'll be randomly searching his bag.

OP posts:
Hoardasurass · 12/12/2025 16:26

Pfpppl · 12/12/2025 16:11

Without wanting to share the exact details, imagine something along the lines of the kid being caught shop lifting. First time doing it, egged on by a mate. And now school are saying they'll be randomly searching his bag.

He's a thief and is being treated as such, what's wrong with that?
Also it wont be his first time doing it just the 1st time he was caught

Edited as posted too soon

MissMoneyFairy · 12/12/2025 16:39

Pfpppl · 12/12/2025 16:11

Without wanting to share the exact details, imagine something along the lines of the kid being caught shop lifting. First time doing it, egged on by a mate. And now school are saying they'll be randomly searching his bag.

Good, why should shops suffer, it's theft, he deserves everything he gets, random bag search is hardly the worse punishment is it.

LIZS · 12/12/2025 16:40

How old is the son? It is shared because it might be part of a wider safeguarding picture - bullying, coercion, county lines, abuse for example - and involves another child.

Octavia64 · 12/12/2025 16:41

Breech of what?

the police and SS are totally entitled to share the information with school.

BeansAndNoodles · 12/12/2025 16:42

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 12/12/2025 15:15

What's this story got in common with a baby delivered head first?

That would be a breech birth. Embarrassed for you tbh.

ThisLittlePony · 12/12/2025 16:47

Pfpppl · 12/12/2025 16:00

Thanks for your helpful response. Because my friend is upset and wants to know whether SS were right to share details when they said they wouldn't. I've never been on this situation so don't know. And she knows I've posted on here to ask.

So is she more upset and annoyed at her son for doing this, or does she think ss is the worst?