To think people want to wrap kids up in cotton wool now?!

[Beforeorafterchristmas]

I just saw a video on Instagram where some woman was ranting about “kids being made to come into school ill” and how we should all just be allowed to stay at home when we have the sniffles or whatever.

My kids have a cold every 10 minutes. When are they supposed to go into school? When am I supposed to work if they’re always off?

Honestly, I feel like more and more people want to wrap their kids up in cotton wool and it’s going to mean zero resilience for any of them growing up.

Am I just really old fashioned or something?!

We should be friends lol, I find the world a bit mad atm tbh and will probably end up on the wrong side of hr as a manager but so be it, let them replace me with someone who can barely hit 60% attendance 😂

Just my personal experience but if my child gets a temperature they are more likely to vomit or be lethargic neither of which is the schools problem to deal with other children will be fine with a temperature mine just arnt

Because as I said, colds aren't just colds for every child.

My son has his temperature taken all of the time when he's unwell. It's essential for him but not every child.

It's not easy - I don't disagree. Modern society and kids being ill aren't compatible. But there is no correlation between how difficult/ impossible it is to manage with some full time jobs ( I don't disagree) and the conclusion that kids should therefore be in school when ill.
That's not the answer to the problem, it just exacerbates the problem, as other posters have mentioned.

Thing is, it might not be just a cold. It might be RSV and passing it on to people with babies or other vulnerable people in their family could lead to hospitalisation or even death (I know this from my own experience).

For me it was hard for my DD in nursery as she would pick up bugs and be over them fast however DH and I would be knocked for weeks. For me, months sometimes as I’m sensitive to sinus issues. Just recently it took me over three months to fully recover from a cold. Thankfully working from home is an option for me and in the office we have little meeting rooms we can work from individually.

We obviously picked up bugs from nursery and I’ve seen kids run around snotty-nose and coughing. I hate putting my DD in that environment but I need to work too. I find if I’m at home all the time I go stir-crazy and crave to see people. I hate the whole illness cycle for that reason as well as it is isolating as a parent sometimes and then you’re more isolated with a sick kid or your own illness as you stay away from everyone and everything. So it never ends. I think parents will probably try to give kids medicine to cover symptoms and when teachers find just how sick the kid is, too late, germs already gone everywhere. There are always going to be parents that do this. I hate it but can’t do anything but make sure my DD is not sick when going to school and manage my symptoms too.

My DD gets very high temps with a sniffle. For her, anything under 40 is neurofen and in to school. My ds is the opposite and never gets a fever so when he has one he is definitely very ill.

If you do that, how do you cover the school holidays?

Its because your a FT mum you are saying this. When they are adults and they have jobs, do you think an employer will let them have time off every time they are ill ?. I mean this with respect, but you dont work, so dont understand what having a job entails

I think pp means she is saying it as a full time working mum.

Honestly I can’t believe how many parents send their kids in when their ill. I totally get that working and childcare is an issue but as a mother of a 6 year old who is medically complex and immunocompromised, it’s tougher! My daughter hasn’t managed a full week since the October holidays. In and out of hospital with flu etc. The other week I was 20 minutes late dropping her off and there was already a child being sick in the office. Also heard the chat on the playground plenty about so and so being sick last night but they’re fine this morning which then results in me taking my daughter home as we can’t risk it, it’s exhausting.

It depends on how ill they are. If they have a mild cold then there is no reason to keep them at home, if they have full blown flu then obviously they will be stuck in bed.

As a teacher we are not babysitters. It's your job to look after your sick kids. It's such a selfish attitude. Spread germs and sickness around a large or even small school because you need a babysitter

What does full time mom mean? Surely we are all full time moms unless our children don’t live with us?

Oops one word missing - I am a 'full time WORKING mum'. I work in a VERY stressful industry and regularly work 45+ hrs per week leading a team of 30 people, as well as having just started a post graduate diploma. Either way we all have our own circumstances, the two things aren't linked. It's not easy as I said, and will be more difficult for some parents than others - I have sympathy with this fact BUT that doesn't change the fact that ill kids shouldn't be in school - full stop. Parents circumstances have nothing to do with that paradigm - it is morally, ethically and practically the right thing to do. Implementing that, in practice, for some parents is more difficult (impossible ) than for others, given individual circumstances, but not relevant to establishing what SHOULD be done.

Full time WORKING mum. My post missed out this word, my post above clarifies. This was just to highlight how tricky it had been for me personally to have the kids off school - it doesn't change the point under discussion which is whether kids should be in school when sick ( not whether it's hard for parents).

There isn't one. Kids being ill and off school, building resilience and whether kids being off school causes difficulty for parents are 3 unrelated statements. It's incoherent. Had the OP said kids being ill is a PITA for some parents, given individual circumstances - that would be a coherent argument. The resilience statement was thrown in for effect.

People need to realise that parenthood and school are intended to produce fully-functional, well-rounded adults, able to cope with the adult working world. You can't be taking time off work every time you have a cold or a headache. Kids learn more being at school slightly under the weather than they do at home playing videogames or pissing about on their phone. Yes, if they're so ill as to be bedridden (or toilet-ridden) they need to stay at home, but if they are well enough to sit at a desk and listen, send them in.

YABU. What does your personal situation have to do with your question? If you were a SAHP would it be OK to keep your DC at home when they're ill?
I worked part-time (24hours) over three days and DH worked 40hrs over four days. We never paid for any childcare and there was always a parent at home during holidays, teacher training, illness, etc.
We lived modestly in an area we could afford and I always remember DM's saying school wasn't a babysitter.
DC would be in a medical room at their schools until a parent collected them. They'd only be in that room for the nurse to watch them until the parent arrived ASAP. Their job wasn't to babysit DC so parents could stay at work, although it's a long time since I last heard of a school nurse.
DD has CHD, a common cold can be life threatening. I couldn't wrap her up in cotton wool (as much as I wanted to), but I had to keep her off if she caught one so I could monitor her and seek medical help ASAP if needed. Parents sending sick DC in increased her chances of getting seriously ill. She still maintained an attendance rate of low 90% each year, never got behind and aced her GCSEs and A levels. She's now at university studying a Masters in maths. Keeping her a home for every cold didn't harm her studies and that was my only concern with school.
You posts make you sound more concerned about your job than DC and whilst you absolutely might need every penny you earn, not every parent is the same. Many plan their lives thinking schools can and do regularly close and DCs get ill. Covid showed that. DD's old school recently closed for a long time when there was a problem with concrete. There's lots of reasons why DC can't attend school for long periods. If you are worried about money/job security what would you do if they had to be off for weeks/months? It does happen.

So, kids nowadays are wrapped in cotton wool when they’re MORE likely to be sent to school ill than 40 years ago when there were no attendance quotas and more likely a SAHM or involved grandparent to provide care. That seems fairly flawed as a logical argument….

Exactly. More than 8 days off sick a year in my work without good reason (eg a sick note) and you’ll be interviewed by HR. Kids with a cold go to school, same as adults with a cold go to work.

There are so many parents in my kids school who just can’t be bothered to get their child to school in the morning. Or they’re lonely and see their child as their little play thing. Then there’s lots who are ALWAYS 15 minutes late.

If your child has more than 10 days off a year and they don’t have a chronic illness you’re doing something wrong. Feeding them bad food, not getting them out the house enough for fresh air or exercise, not getting them exposed to a variety of germs for their immune system to build resilience to. If your child is constantly ill, reassess your parenting.

Quite an important word 🤣 I thought you were one of those stay at home moms who say they are full time moms like us working moms aren’t ☺️

I initially voted yanbu if we’re genuinely talking about minor sniffles. Sending child to school who is ill enough to need to sit in a “medical room” just so you can work, YABVU.

This. In the old days children stayed home alone when sick, if both parents had to work. But it was far more common for families to cope on a single salary, with the mother being a housewife.

These days parents are put in the impossible situation of being expected to be in two places at once at all times: 24 hour vigilance of children until they are 18, while being immpeccable employees whose family never impacts on their work. It's insane.

I just wish our school would make their minds up.

An email was sent out saying that the children would be rewarded every day for the next two weeks for attending. So sweets one day, a hot chocolate treat the next, a movie, some pizza etc. To encourage everyone to go in and keep attendance up.

Halfway into the first week, a second email was sent out. Please could parents not send their children into school when they were unwell. As they were having many cases of illness in the school.

Ds developed a fever on Monday night, then became very unwell and was off for four days. It was a pain with work, but no way could I send him in when he was that unwell. He could barely move off the sofa and slept all day.

I recieved a third email. The school was worried about ds's attendance, and they felt his absence could negatively affect his academic future. Did I need support to send him in?

I just ignore the school now, they can never seem to keep what they want straight. Either it is ok for children to be off when very sick, or it is not. They can't have it both ways.

On the class WhatsApp there were mothers worried because their dc were so upset at missing out/getting a blemish on their 100% attendance that they were begging to go in to school even when they had been vomiting. And some were sending them in.