What to do with a Weasel manager…

[NoWomanNoRedRedWine]

Please can you help me strategise on this…

I am a senior manager in a large corporate, so my decision-making power is restricted in many ways by what comes from above. We have been through a very difficult restructuring over the last three years, which has failed miserably and now we are being restructured back. Despite the chaos, loss of talent and pressure to hit targets, I have done my best to bring calm energy to the team and take care of them. We have delivered great results and I have had two promotions in the last three years.

Few weeks ago I got a new manager who has been in the business a little longer than I have. I cannot make a judgement on his competence, I have no information on his achievements, only what roles he was in. What I do know is that people who have worked with him referred to him as Weasel. He never gives a straight answer, outlines vague expectations, then holds you accountable for somehow not meeting them and does not constructively challenge his own manager when needed. Just pushes crap downhill. He criticises every opinion I voice and my team’s competency but in a subtle way. If he makes a decision, it’s mostly a weak one where the team are always in a loss / at fault.

Before him, my manager was a proper big picture leader and we both were focussed on driving the business, whilst this one just wants a “yes”. Few years back this situation would have eroded my confidence, but while I love my job, I have resigned myself to finding another one. I cannot respect the guy and on the last call found myself losing patience with his waffling.

His personal demeanour drives me nuts, softly spoken with a gentle smile. I do try to ignore that but I am from the culture where smiles are earned, they mean something, so he looks weak and sly to me, but that is on me, just venting.

And then there is my team, pissed with everything that’s going on and I do not feel that I have the “managerial integrity” anymore to keep a strong facade. I feel like just saying - it is all Weasel’s decision.

How do I survive this nonsense until I get another job? I do not expect to just walk into another role, it will be hard to match what I have now.

You need to get really good at crystallising, before the end of the meeting

• the decision i need from you is "X or Y" by Z date. The implications of not having a decision by Z date are ...(£x unbudgeted spend/regulatory exposure/reduction in SLA ...)

And follow up in writing.

And for your objectives - ask for SMART objectives, discuss them and get them in writing.

Where you are not getting this, outline your preferred course of action/prioritisation including being clear about stuff that is NOT getting done + risks of that. And then do that until you are told otherwise.

Some would say Cover your Arse. I would say bw explicit about decisions, trade-offs and the cost of delay so there is total clarity about what is/is not being done. Put the info in the hands of the accountable decision-makers.
Put it all in writing so everyone has something to refer to.

"His personal demeanour drives me nuts, softly spoken with a gentle smile. I do try to ignore that but I am from the culture where smiles are earned, they mean something, so he looks weak and sly to me, but that is on me, just venting."

On this one - you know that if you liked him otherwise this probably wouldnt bother you. You are going to need to reframe this otherwise you wont be able to protect your income and professional reputation.

you need to put a stop to his "vague expectations" and follow up any meeting or discussion where he articulates them with an email asking for clarity.

For ease, propose a course of action and make him, in writing, confirm that is what he expects. If he won't, write back stating why his vague expectations are not measurable, not possible, not feasible, etc. Cover your back. Every time.

And get a new job, he won't change.

Thank you both. It has helped to just write this down. And you are right about asking for clarity in writing.

It is ironic that my previous manager praised me on being able to deal with ambiguity that comes with the org changes but Weasel took this to a whole new level.

He has booked one to ones with my team on Monday to get to know hem - no doubt half of them will be labelled as not the right fit for the future if they share how they truly feel about the last three tough years.

Thanks again.

Good luck, it sounds stressful.

Any way you can insert yourself into the 1to1s?

@Brefugee I could but I do not want my team to feel supervised in these meetings, I want them to know that I am comfortable them talking above my head directly and freely. I cannot let him erode our trust. When I do go, I will absolutely poach my best guys.

Try to approach it with an open mind, you will need a growth mindset and to retain your professionalism.

are you OP's boss @Mulledjuice

No but i have in the past reacted to dickheads at work in a way that didn't do my career or mental health any good.

I wasnt necessarily wrong but i wasnt keeping myself sane/learning better skills for managing difficult bosses/ making myself look highly competent.

Smiles have to be earned in your culture? Christ, what is your culture thats pretty strict!

Listen it's all horseshit really, blue sky thinking, big picture wank speak. Tell him piss or get off the pot when you are looking for information and then let it go.

None of it matters, you could be gone tomorrow and the company will step over your warm body to post the ad for your replacement.

I had a weasel manager. I resigned my post, and got transferred to a different project.

I shall now watch him fail from a distance.

@SnipSnipMrBurgess The culture is Ukrainian. We don’t smile much naturally, seriously Google Slavic Smile. But I do smile lots after 20 years in the UK and tone down when visiting home. But he is just slimey with it, not friendly.

@PinkPepperPolka You are living my dream, well done!

Reading this makes me very glad I don't work in a corporate environment, OP. I used to, years ago, and it's all very familiar. Layers and layers of incompetent management, all there because of who they sucked up to, and all interested only in furthering themselves. I knew some real snakes and weasels.

I agree with others in terms of practical steps: try to really push him for clarity on what is expected of you. If you allow him to keep it nebulous he'll be able to cause all sorts of problems for you.

And I'm British through and through, but I know exactly what you mean when you talk about fake smiles.