They will advise her to have 2 post op bras, one to wear and one to wash, in reality it’s much easier to have more than that, I had four. The crop tops from M&S a previous poster linked to are good once she has had a time to heal but for at least the first few weeks she will need a bra that opens at the front, rather than one that goes over her head. I got some nice ones from Asda in a two pack for £16, they are comfortable but not as bracingly tight as the ones I got from the hospital so they are probably better for wearing 6 weeks post op and at night. Either front buttoning tops or loose stretchy tops are also helpful. She really does need to be careful not to try and lift or pull anything in the first few weeks, I think it was three weeks before I could get my socks on! I had a little washing station set up on a lap tray with all the things I needed to clean myself - gauze, saline, dressings etc. She maybe too swollen and painful to bend over the bath for a hair wash for 3-5 days after the surgery so may want something to cover her hair.
I bought a top online from Amazon which had internal pockets to hold the drain bottles immediately after surgery and it was a godsend because otherwise they do get in the way of moving about. Amazon Top. Little lifts send boxes of useful items to breast cancer patients, the boxes are tailored for surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy. You need to give them proof of treatment and ID but they do delete everything afterwards,
Agree with PPs about removing the mental load, maybe before the op you could sit down and think about meals and then plan what you need for the first weeks so she can concentrate on healing. She probably won’t have much of an appetite for a few days so stick to things she really likes. Apologies if you already do this anyway but don’t say “ just tell me if you want me to put a washing on”, you need to be proactive. Maybe ask her what her routine is before the operation so you can pick it up seamlessly.
If she is going on Tamoxifen afterwards there are foods that clash with that like grapefruit that you need to be aware of. Supplements like turmeric are also not advised so if she takes supplements then check with the oncologist that they are happy for her to take them. She can take a localised vaginal estrogen in the form of a tablet or cream for vaginal health alongside Tamoxifen, it helps to prevent UTIs as we age so I would ask the oncologist to prescribe this too.
sleep will be a big issue, I found that a wedge pillow, a V shaped pillow and a rolled up towel for under my knees helped a lot, and she will need compression socks too. Plenty of liquids help so a nice fruit squash helped me drink the volume of water that was advised.
Unless she has previously been claustrophobic I wouldn’t worry about the MRI, yes it’s loud but it’s bearable, and the time passed pretty quickly. If I’d have has warm socks on I might have dozed off! Depending on the results of the MRI she may also be sent for a CT scan, this is very quick in comparison. I also had a second lot of biopsies following the MRI but it was all clear, they just wanted to double check so don’t panic if this happens to her, it doesn’t automatically mean bad news.
Mentally I would say just be there so she can talk about it if she wants to, let her set the tone, comfort her when she is down and be positive when she is positive. Everyone has their own way of getting through this and she just needs your support. Only tell people when she is comfortable for them to know and check beforehand what level of detail she is comfortable with people having, some people ask for a lot of detail she may not want shared and you need to be prepared for that. This will be both physically and mentally draining so don’t plan any long meet-ups over Christmas without having an exit strategy!