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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pet ownership should be for the wealthy

223 replies

spottybaghottyhag · 12/12/2025 12:17

Pre emptying this by saying we are low income, get topped up by UC and my pet is eligible for PDSA treatment

My ddog 13 has been eating less than usual and not keen to go out as much, but otherwise bright and seemingly well. Made an appointment with the above vet. Due to his age they wanted to do x-ray/scan under sedation. Was very shocked to discover he has a tumour in his stomach. Vet basically said (over the phone) that as they are a charity hospital they cannot do anything further, the options are either a referral to a specialist vet to ascertain if it's cancer, or PTS. She said the referral + tests would be circa £1k, which wouldn't obviously include any actual treatment or surgical options.
Personally I don't want to explore other options regardless, he's 13, had a great life and I don't think major surgery or chemo on any elderly animal is fair. We are making sure he's still comfortable and will PTS when we feel he's not.

Onto the AIBU: it really made me feel that you should only get a pet if you can afford expensive vet bills. The PDSA are very limited in what they do (very understandably) and you cannot rely on them as a complete veterinary service. Insurance doesn't always pay out. Someone asked me will I get another dog when ddog goes and my answer was we cannot afford it. She felt I was being very unreasonable. Am I?

OP posts:
Medexpert · 12/12/2025 12:33

I love pets. I had them growing up and they were a great source of comfort.

But I agree they are a luxury. I only had pets when I could afford to insure them and when I was able to give them time. It's a sacrifice that comes with ownership.

I get very annoyed with people who think it's an entitlemt. It really isn't and not fair on the dog.

I'm sorry you are going through the end of their life. It's an inevitable awful time. Take care of yourself and family.

Cardomomle · 12/12/2025 12:34

Pets are a luxury, that's just the way it is.

MidnightPatrol · 12/12/2025 12:36

I think a lot of people are oblivious to the cost of pets until they have one…!

Especially elderly ones.

No sensible vet is going to treat a dog for cancer at 13 IMO.

Ddakji · 12/12/2025 12:36

Your friend sounds pretty dumb thinking you should acquire anything, especially a living creature, that you can’t afford.

Minty25 · 12/12/2025 12:38

I guess this is why most people have pet insurance. I personally don't have it but save each month and currently have 3.5k saved for my nine year old dog in case of things like this. I'm aware it probably isn't enough though.

Thehop · 12/12/2025 12:39

Absolutely agree, hard as it is if you're an animal lover.

my friend and her son share a dog. Means he's always got someone around and they share the cost. Works well for them and maybe more people should consider it?

the unexpected bills are a killer. My spaniel has had £1500 of ear infection treatment this winter bless him.

DC285 · 12/12/2025 12:39

”Pet ownership should be for the wealthy” is a bit of a click bait way of putting it. Essentially “you should only have a pet if you can afford to properly care for it” is essentially the point you’re making and that shouldn’t be controversial.

RunningJo · 12/12/2025 12:40

Dogs do now seem to be a luxury I think, increasing vet costs, increasing insurance costs, and of course some unscrupulous breeders charging £££ for a pup.

I have dogs, but won’t have any more once mine have gone, not sure I can justify the cost of it all now.

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 12/12/2025 12:41

Not just for the wealthy, but only if you can afford it.

I'm not wealthy by any means, but I can afford their insurance every month.

GucciBear · 12/12/2025 12:41

I think that dog ownership ought to be restricted to the sensible. People who let their dogs wander the pavements on long leads and those who cannot manage training so that their dog is a menace to society need not apply.....

Livelovelaughfuckoff · 12/12/2025 12:42

I do agree. My dog had a tumour it’s going to cost £2000 to remove. Not sure if his insurance will cover it all but we do have savings so can find the money. I almost wish we didn’t have the money as I’m not sure we are making the right decision to put him through an operation with no idea of future outcome. Equally he is 8 and has no physical symptoms and is his usually lovely self so to do nothing feels wrong too. He’s such a sensitive soul though and I know he is going to be so stressed by any operation and recovery.

I do think sometimes people with money and lots of insurance put their pets through treatments that they shouldn’t and extend life at the expense of quality of life. So maybe there is no right person to own a pet when it comes to money.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 12/12/2025 12:45

They're not necessarily for the wealthy but you do need to be able to afford one. I have no kids and I prioritise my dog's welfare. She is insured and we also have enough money for care not covered on insurance. We're not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination but I just have different priorities. I feel the same about kids - too many people have them that can't afford them, but feel like they have the right to have them.

Lemonysnickety · 12/12/2025 12:47

You have framed this as a debate about animal ownership but first I’m am very sorry about your poor dog it is so horrendous when a pet comes to the end.

More generally on what you asked I don’t think it is just about rich and poor. I am enormously opposed to giving animals the same types of treatment we give to humans. Obviously there are situations where treatment is far and away the best for animals but there are lots of procedures that just because they can be done on animals does not mean that they should.

Humans can have their conditions explained to them and they can see a time in the future whereby they will recover and things will be better. While I understand that may not be true for young children eventually as they get older they can come to understand why medical treatment they had as a child allowed them to inhabit the future in which they now live.

I personally think it is barbarism putting animals through lots of procedures modern veterinary puts them through.

People anthropomorphising animals and vets making money out of people’s absolute love for their pets has led to this bonkers situation where animals are being put through very traumatic procedures for the benefits of their owners.

That is what I would take a lot of issue with.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/12/2025 12:47

Your thread title doesn’t match your AIBU. I’m not wealthy but I can afford my pets vet bills because they are important to me and they are insured, and I save money towards unexpected costs too. Plenty of non wealthy people can budget for some luxuries (such as pets) too. But I agree if someone cannot afford these bills, or chooses not to save for them then it’s best they don’t get a pet.

Sorry about your DDog, and I think you are making the right choice not doing invasive treatments at his age. I agree it doesn’t make sense for you to get another pet based on finances.

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 12/12/2025 12:53

For the wealthy is a stretch, but it should be only for responsible owners who know they have the means to look after their pets properly.

ContentedAlpaca · 12/12/2025 12:55

I'm very sorry you've had this news about your dog.

I feel like vets approach has changed significantly. We've always owned pets and in the past we would get compassionate but pragmatic advice from our vets that took in the age of the animal, quality of life etc. We never felt pushed towards more expensive treatment.
Now they seem much more likely to recommend surgical options.

Our cat was recently injured and the bill for the recommended surgery was in excess of 10,000. We were 'lucky' that our insurance had lapsed because it would have paid some (around the first 4k) but not all of that and left us in a bigger dilemma. As it was, we had to say that it wasn't an option.
We nursed her at home and she is now bouncing around like nothing happened. We spoke to more than one vet at the same practise. One made it sound like the only options were PTS or surgery, at no point was there a sensible discussion about what we could afford. It was just pressure. Another felt we could quite successfully nurse at home, which we did.

EmpressaurusKitty · 12/12/2025 12:56

As well as insurance, nobody should be allowed to have a cat unless it’s either already been neutered & vaccinated or they can afford to get it done. And sites like Pets 4 Homes & the pets section of Gumtree should be illegal.

FreeOnFriday · 12/12/2025 12:56

We only got pets when we were financially comfortable. Most of the time, as long as you have insurance and are honest with the insurance company from the start, they’ll pay out. We have had bills of £8k and £12k in the last few years all covered by insurance.

We know someone who has 5 dogs, no insurance and they’ve never been well off. I find that really irresponsible. It’s not like they’ve had a change in circumstances.

I hope your dog has lots of good times ahead of him. 💐

Notmyreality · 12/12/2025 12:57

Same with kids

TheCurious0range · 12/12/2025 12:59

I'm not wealthy, my cat has had two major surgeries this year, I make sure we have good insurance.

CheeseIsMyIdol · 12/12/2025 13:03

When my Chihuahua got older with heart failure it was costing me an extra £500 per month for meds, vet visits and an extra drop in sitter on days i had to work in office.

Thankfully I could afford it but not everyone can. People need to be more prudent in acquiring living beings, be it animal
or human.

TheCurious0range · 12/12/2025 13:04

EmpressaurusKitty · 12/12/2025 12:56

As well as insurance, nobody should be allowed to have a cat unless it’s either already been neutered & vaccinated or they can afford to get it done. And sites like Pets 4 Homes & the pets section of Gumtree should be illegal.

It's not even expensive to vaccinate and neuter a cat, we got vac for life with vets for pets and it was £99 and covers every vaccination he will need in his whole life. Neutering was £70. If you can't save and afford those things you shouldn't have a pet. I also think insurance should be mandatory.

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 12/12/2025 13:04

Things can happen to people- illness, change of circumstances etc, that means they can no longer look after their pet to the standard they would hope. But they still absolutely love their pet and their pet loves them. In those circumstances, I think it's cruel to give up the dog. But if you outright buy a puppy knowing you can't afford insurance etc, then yes I agree you shouldn't be buying a puppy or dog.

There's a huge difference between not being able to afford extravagant dog food for your dog, and not being able to afford basics like insurance.

Would I sell a puppy to someone where I had significant concerns about their finances to the point where I felt they couldn't afford insurance? No, absolutely not. Have I refused to sell to people on that ground? Yes.

Would I sell a puppy to someone who could afford insurance and the basics, but not extravagant dog food and ridiculous amounts of toys? Yes, and I have done.

Do I think that people who have had a change in circumstances and can no longer afford insurance should have to relinquish their dogs? No.

The onus is on the breeders/adoption centre as well as the buyer to do their best to ensure the puppies/dogs/cats are never given to a family that cannot afford them from the outset. But, things can change, and that's a lot harder.

I'm sorry about your boy though, it's horrible to know that you're going to have to say goodbye soon.❤

Marshmallow4545 · 12/12/2025 13:05

Notmyreality · 12/12/2025 12:57

Same with kids

I think it's not necessarily about being rich but I do think having pets and children is an intrinsically selfish thing to do. I do think there is a big onus on parents and owners to ensure they are in a position to meet the needs of the lives they are responsible for. This includes the financial but also the practical and emotional.

TeenLifeMum · 12/12/2025 13:07

Prioritising pet insurance means we can afford them. Our much loved 4yo dog died last summer from lymphoma. The cancer was everywhere. We gave him an extra year with chemo and while on chemo he was well - bombing around with no signs of anything being wrong with him. It cost £8000 and we paid £1000 ourselves over a 9 month period. Insurance was so amazing, as was our vet.