AIBU gossiping

[WinterFreezingCold]

AIBU to be annoyed by people gosipping? A friend shared some personal info about me with another friend behind my back. Nothing major - but trust has been broken a bit, and I'm more guarded now with what I share.

Did you tell her to keep it to herself. Some people are overly private and people like me are oversharers. If someone tells me not to say anything I won't but if they don't I assume its general knowledge unless its something major which you've said it wasn't

I had a friend like this, couldn’t keep anything to herself. Notice I said “had” and not “have.”
I keep my distance now apart from polite chit chat!

I did not tell her to keep it to herself - but then I assumed sharing something in private does not equal general knowledge and it's not a permission to have your life discussed and commented on by others (which is what happened)? If feels so high school tbh. More general chit chat may be the way to go.

I can’t stand gossip - it’s one of the major ways people connect where I live (small town) and it’s so boring. I couldn’t give a f* if ‘that’s the man who had an affair with one of the mums’ etc. I always think people without anything interesting to say are the biggest gossipers.
you’ll just have to not tell her anything personal from now on, take it as a warning about her character and just confide in more trustworthy friends. YANBU

To some extent we all gossip. Its hard-wired.

We all talk about our families, coworkers and friends. Other people are a big part of our lives and some attempt to make sense of our relationships to them and their behaviour is entirely natural. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where curiosity about others lives was taboo.

For me it’s whether its harmful or not. Natural curiosity is fine. Nasty speculation about people and dredging up stuff from ancient history is not. The difference is common sense.

But your opinion of private might be significantly different to another person's of private. I wouldn't think twice of telling someone a friend has got a new job or bought a hot tub for the garden or fell and broke there wrist unless specifically told not to.