Feeling unappreciated by DH during pregnancy

[Bingate6]

I’m late into my second pregnancy (38 weeks) and it’s starting to dawn on me that I haven’t really felt appreciated at all by my DH during either of my pregnancies for the changes etc that are happening to me. Eg I suffered badly with sickness and spent most evenings alone upstairs throwing up whilst DH was at work or watching tv.

For example he doesn’t really ask how I’m feeling besides a general how was your day, if I have any problems that I tell him about I’m usually met with silence or he has a worse ailment. At the moment he’s making it pretty clear he thinks I’ve got a good deal being on maternity leave whilst he’s working. In fact as he gets 6 weeks off work when baby is born he’s been stroppy and stressed that there’s too much on at work for him having the time off. Last pregnancy we had building work going on and apparently I didn’t appreciate him enough as he was dealing with the builders.

Do you think this is normal? I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much or have watched too many romcoms. I guess I just feel a bit flat about things. I know he loves our son but I almost feel like I’m a burden being pregnant.

I'm so sorry he's being so rubbish.

It's definitely not normal - when I was pregnant with my DD my DH treated me like a princess, I think he was so grateful that I was growing his baby. I have also had some miscarriages and every time I was pregnant he made such a fuss over me, looking after me when I was throwing up constantly, etc.

I'm not going to praise him for it, I appreciated it but I think this is the bare minimum tbh! You are creating a whole new life, you deserve to be fussed over a bit.

I'm pregnant and have a toddler. I don't think men even think about how much effort women in our situation put in. I know that our toddler's life would fall apart if my husband was in charge.

I don't think DH treated me remotely differently when I was pregnant. And I didn't expect him to. I was only pregnant, not suffering with a debilitating illness.

He came through when it counted; he's a very reliable, practical, loving father: always shared night feeds, nappies, and was happy for me to leave any housework for when he came home from work, so he came through when it most counted.

I find stories about men fussing over women and rushing out at 4am to buy ice cream to satisfy their pregnancy cravings a tad ridiculous to be honest.

Did he want the baby?

Is he usually very loving when you are not pregnant or is this his usual behaviour?

I mean if he was like this the first time around, no shock this is happening ?

Agreed. I mean I'm pregnant for the first time, 27weeks today and he has looked after me etc so I agree with what your saying.

For example he doesn’t really ask how I’m feeling besides a general how was your day,

I'm confused.
Isn't asking how your day has been, inclusive of how you feel ?

If someone asked me how my day was and I'd had a headache or was feeling groggy or tired, that would be the point I would tell them.