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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Constant DIY arguments with DH?

22 replies

Powerto · 11/12/2025 11:15

We have a curved bath. The bath panel is constantly standing a good inch away from the bath. I’ve asked him to fix it a million times.

I can currently hear the sound of sellotape being pulled. I am about to lose my mind.

He hung up a tv the other day and whilst it was secure it was leaning so far forward it looked stupid. Massive argument and he walked out. He then came back with the actual screw that was needed and it’s now fixed.

Aibu? If you can’t do the job then just say. I’m more than happy to get someone in to do it but this also causes arguments?

OP posts:
zipadeedodah · 11/12/2025 11:17

Just get someone in to do the jobs don't even discuss it first.

If you're going to argue anyway at least you will have the satisfaction a good timely job was done.

Prelim · 11/12/2025 11:18

Why can’t you do it if it needs doing? He’s obviously not very good at it or willing to do it and you seem to know how to do it better. We play to our strengths, I’m better at electrics and cooking, my husband is better at anything that involves precision measurement and wood cutting.

pastabest · 11/12/2025 11:21

Is it his penis that makes DIY his job? I do the DIY in our house because I'm good at it and DH is useless. Anything I can't do (rare) I pay someone who has the skills to do it.

Ask for handyperson reccomendations on Facebook and get someone in to do all the bits and pieces you need doing.

Ballondor · 11/12/2025 11:22

Some people are shit at DIY and find practical stuff difficult. Do you give him the opportunity to say he can’t do it, or just give the impression that you expect it to be done?

Not having a go but I can see both sides here.

Also, DIY isn’t (and shouldn’t be) just a man’s job.

Gettingbysomehow · 11/12/2025 11:23

I can't stand crap DIY. I generally do my own and if I can't do it I hire a handyman.

gamerchick · 11/12/2025 11:23

Just get someone in. Don't even mention it to him. Most of the time he'll probably not notice.

Abracadabrador · 11/12/2025 11:23

Just don't argue, how does the arguing even go?
'The bath panel isn't fixed'
'You do it then'
'no problem, a man is coming out on Tuesday, he will sort the broken XYZ too.'
'weh.'
'ok.'

There is never any point in arguing with anyone.

TheTaupeScroller · 11/12/2025 11:25

Prelim · 11/12/2025 11:18

Why can’t you do it if it needs doing? He’s obviously not very good at it or willing to do it and you seem to know how to do it better. We play to our strengths, I’m better at electrics and cooking, my husband is better at anything that involves precision measurement and wood cutting.

probably because the OP is not good at it either BUT doesn't have some weird penis related pride and employs someone from the start instead of doing a shit job?

Nothing wrong in being crap at DIY - it becomes a problem when you pretend you are and you are obviously messing things up.

dontmalbeconme · 11/12/2025 11:26

If you want it fixed, then just fix it. Not sure why you're bringing DH into it at all, he's clearly not bothered whether it's fixed or not, so why would he fix it.

Powerto · 11/12/2025 11:38

pastabest · 11/12/2025 11:21

Is it his penis that makes DIY his job? I do the DIY in our house because I'm good at it and DH is useless. Anything I can't do (rare) I pay someone who has the skills to do it.

Ask for handyperson reccomendations on Facebook and get someone in to do all the bits and pieces you need doing.

No. I just can’t do it, I’ve tried. He says he can and then fucks them up.

It’s not about women and and men jobs.

OP posts:
Powerto · 11/12/2025 11:41

TheTaupeScroller · 11/12/2025 11:25

probably because the OP is not good at it either BUT doesn't have some weird penis related pride and employs someone from the start instead of doing a shit job?

Nothing wrong in being crap at DIY - it becomes a problem when you pretend you are and you are obviously messing things up.

This is it. I’ve tried doing it and I’m just not good. And that’s fine. Better to know my limitations than put a tv on the wall for it to fall down and break.

Bur apparently I should because some stranger on MN told me too 🤣

OP posts:
InfoSecInTheCity · 11/12/2025 11:45

I have reached the point where I no longer have the discussion about these things. DH really does try his best but he’s useless, I’m better at DIY stuff but not brilliant. If there’s something beyond my skills I just make the call and bring someone in, then tell DH after it’s all arranged. At first he feigned indignation and said he’d have given it a go if I’d told him, now he’s just glad it’s sorted without him needing to try to do it.

Powerto · 11/12/2025 11:45

Ballondor · 11/12/2025 11:22

Some people are shit at DIY and find practical stuff difficult. Do you give him the opportunity to say he can’t do it, or just give the impression that you expect it to be done?

Not having a go but I can see both sides here.

Also, DIY isn’t (and shouldn’t be) just a man’s job.

Can anyone point out where I said DIY is a man only job? Please because I must have had an aneurysm and missed it.

I am crap at it. DH is ok but doesn’t know his limitations. And fixing a bath panel by using literal sellotape is … I have no words. I am more than happy to pay a person to do it (shock horror it could even be a woman who does it!) but again this causes arguments.

OP posts:
RedTagAlan · 11/12/2025 11:55

Powerto · 11/12/2025 11:41

This is it. I’ve tried doing it and I’m just not good. And that’s fine. Better to know my limitations than put a tv on the wall for it to fall down and break.

Bur apparently I should because some stranger on MN told me too 🤣

You are arguing here too it seems.

Seriously, a bath panel will not be difficult to fix. Just google it. It could be as simple as double sided sticky tape or a couple of clips from Amazon.

How to Fix a Bath Panel? – ComfyCrafty.com

How to Fix a Bath Panel? – ComfyCrafty.com

https://comfycrafty.com/how-to-fix-a-bath-panel/

Ablondiebutagoody · 11/12/2025 12:00

Stop nagging him to do stuff then. Get a man in. It has to be a man. Women are much too feeble for DIY.

Powerto · 11/12/2025 12:30

RedTagAlan · 11/12/2025 11:55

You are arguing here too it seems.

Seriously, a bath panel will not be difficult to fix. Just google it. It could be as simple as double sided sticky tape or a couple of clips from Amazon.

How to Fix a Bath Panel? – ComfyCrafty.com

Well as you’ve not seen the bath or the actual issue then your links are completely irrelevant. But thanks so much for caring about a strangers bath panel you actually googled it …

OP posts:
RedTagAlan · 11/12/2025 12:36

Powerto · 11/12/2025 12:30

Well as you’ve not seen the bath or the actual issue then your links are completely irrelevant. But thanks so much for caring about a strangers bath panel you actually googled it …

I don't have a bath, nor have I fitted or repaired bath panels, and I was curious to see how they are fitted.

I like fixing things, so just in case a neighbor has a bath panel they want fixed.

Espressosummer · 11/12/2025 13:03

Ablondiebutagoody · 11/12/2025 12:00

Stop nagging him to do stuff then. Get a man in. It has to be a man. Women are much too feeble for DIY.

Oh piss off. The OP has made it clear in more than one post that she has no problem paying someone to do the DIY, it's her husband who has a problem with it.

Elsvieta · 11/12/2025 15:06

Get someone in to do it. It takes two to have an argument; don't have one. Book a professional, without prior discussion, and make no apology for it.

Prelim · 11/12/2025 15:26

TheTaupeScroller · 11/12/2025 11:25

probably because the OP is not good at it either BUT doesn't have some weird penis related pride and employs someone from the start instead of doing a shit job?

Nothing wrong in being crap at DIY - it becomes a problem when you pretend you are and you are obviously messing things up.

I was responding the statement that the OP asked him to do it. He didn’t volunteer to do it due to having a penis.

She’s now said she doesn’t like doing it either, so why not just get someone in to do it in the first place?

dontmalbeconme · 11/12/2025 15:37

"Darling, the bath panel needs fixing. I've had a go, but couldn’t do it, so I've booked a handyman for next Thursday"

"Handyman? Why? I can do it!"

"As I said, handyman's coming next Thursday. We can cancel if you've fixed it by then"

End of discussion. It gets fixed by next Thursday one way or another.

LittleGreenDragons · 11/12/2025 17:40

I hear you OP.

I had an exh who would do jobs badly but insisted on doing them. He also refused to pay for a tradesperson to do it. Since his wages would have paid the tradesperson I wasn't allowed to overrule him. The house slowly fell apart and it sold for 80K less than it should have.

It's a form of control and if I had looked closer there were other red flags but I ignored them for many years. Look closer at yours.

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