Almost 3 year old angry all the time.

[Verytiredmumofone]

Struggling to cope with almost 3 year old dd. Every tiny thing is a battle, every bathtime ends in huge huge meltdown, her favourite word is no, she gets really angry all the time, i.e. when her Frozen dress wont lie flat, did anyone else find this age particularly impossible? I'm 8 months pregnant and I keep losing my patience with her and either shouting or screaming or crying.
Dh is great but he's just had eye surgery so is out of action and also struggling to deal with her.
Please help me, what do I do?

I think the ages 3 and 4 are definitely worse than the terrible 2s.

Not much help really other than to say I feel your pain.

We’re struggling too OP. Agree 3 is worse, in our case. Meltdowns multiple times a day and I can’t keep my cool either. Tears all round. We do a lot of bargaining and sometimes it works and sometimes it completely fails. I do some physical wrangling but that usually makes things worse before they get better. Our DC does get over it and cheer up and has moments of being sweet and happy and we have to focus on noticing those too. The days feel very long! Even with nursery! It’s got to be a phase, it can’t last forever.

Sorry, you asked what to do… pick your battles. Ie drop all the expectations you can afford to drop. Eg we only bath once a week, we sometimes have to use a wet wipe instead of washing DC hands at the sink, clean clothes at bedtime and sleeps in them so getting dressed is easier in the morning. Stickers, chocolate coins, snacks, promise of more bedtime stories or tv. Giving lots of autonomy. Removing deadlines where possible. When all feeling calm, explaining why certain rules have to be followed. Lean on friends and family for practical and or emotional support. I’ve considered getting a chart with daily routine cards to help make things more predictable and so DC feels in control. Good luck!

No advice but Im living this. My own DD is a few weeks off 3 and we're at this stage. It's definitely tough and I want to cry and tear my hair out sometimes. When she's sweet she's amazing but it changes in a blink of an eye and we have a meltdown for 30 mins. I keep telling myself it's a phase but it doesnt help in the moment. You're not alone!

Mine is 3 and a bit. I’m exhausted and crying in bed because I shouted at him tonight. I’m so tired of the tantrums and being screamed at 5 times a minute because I dared to give him blueberries when I asked him if he wanted blueberries and he said yes. I have no tips

My DD3 is the same. Always directed at me for some reason. I pick my battles, let DH (her favourite person) deal with the rest. I hope it blows over because it’s exhausting. Sometimes I’m not sure if DH believes how awful she is when she’s with me, because she’s such an angel for him!

If something is time critical, try 'Can you beat the timer?' Use a gigantic egg-timer displayed prominently and really OTT celebrations when DC does whatever it is within the time. Useful for things like putting on shoes, tidying something away.

Have a chat with her, and find out the cause of her anger. Tough love doesnt work all the time, it doesnt work on angry children. It works on misbehaving children though. In your case i believe you should try therapy with the child if you can. Music relaxes me when i am angry.

@Verytiredmumofonehow are things going with your little one? Same question to @Lyra87@MoosesareREAL and @blankcanvas3

We’ve worked on some sensory issues that were setting DD off (basically we allow her preferences and stopped worrying about how it looks to others). We’ve spoken to nursery so they’re aware she’s struggling at the moment. These have helped. Next for us is working on transitions - making them more predictable, less of a surprise, less rushing. Staying calm seems to help a lot but I’m afraid I often don’t manage that. It’s all a work in progress…!

Hi@hollyhocks2 Christmas was lovely overall but we had a few tough moments. Still a lot if 'big emotions' going on, and up and down days. Just keep reminding myself that it'll pass one day 🙈