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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to have SIL to stay over Christmas?

9 replies

StartupRepair · 10/12/2025 08:57

She lives a considerable distance away, several hours drive. We are hosting a large family Christmas this year and of course she was invited along with her 2 adult daughters. I said to DH that I would prefer her not to stay. I am fond of her but find her often overbearing and she often takes over food and arrangements. I thought she would stay with her sister who is also coming to us for Christmas Day.
Now we have heard that she can't stay with the other sister (long story,) and thinks that a hotel is too expensive so won't come. She is quite well off. Her daughters are also not coming but are with other people.
So she is going to be without family on Christmas Day. Meanwhile DH and I are massively stressed over a bad business decision we have recently made which may have awful repercussions. We are tired, snappy and I feel even less like having a bossy person to stay. But I do feel bad that we are not just welcoming her to stay. DH is quite upset about it but can see that it is the last thing we need.

OP posts:
Mikart · 10/12/2025 09:11

Well she can sulk at home

MatildaTheCat · 10/12/2025 09:12

Why can’t she spend Christmas with her own DDs?

prioritise yourselves.

ComfortFoodCafe · 10/12/2025 09:13

Can she not drive over and just stay one night? Not her fault you made a bad business decision? Sounds like your dh is upset about it?

pixiegirlishere · 10/12/2025 09:38

You are already hosting a large gathering. You don’t need to do anymore. Seriously, you are not responsible for anyone else. If she wants to come, she has an invitation. You don’t need to facilitate her visit or add extras like a sleepover - the invitation to the meal is enough, really it is.

BeeCucumber · 10/12/2025 09:47

Why are you hosting a large family Christmas when you are stressed, tired and snappy?

BuoyedWithOptimisticIgnorance · 10/12/2025 09:49

Has she actually asked to stay?

Endofyear · 10/12/2025 09:53

Surely you can put her up for one night? I would, hosting Christmas is pretty stressful anyway so one more person for one night isn't going to make a lot of difference! Delegate dealing with her to DH and get stuck into the Baileys early on !

BMW6 · 10/12/2025 10:25

So she could easily afford a hotel ! YANBU.

rainbowstardrops · 10/12/2025 10:51

Fair enough that you’re both tired and snappy but if you’re going to manage hosting a large family gathering, I don’t see what difference it would make to allow her to stay the night. Would she be going home the next day?

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