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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it normal to feel traumatised by a hospital stay?

53 replies

Owaala · 10/12/2025 05:42

Hey, can I share my experience and see if anyone has had anything vaguely similar? I had a total thyroidectomy with neck dissection as I have stage 4 melanoma and it had spread to my neck lymph nodes at the same time I needed my thyroid removing and on a pet scan they weren’t sure if the cancer had spread to my thyroid as well on the 20th of October.

Drain failed, had to have emergency surgery early hours of the 22nd where because I’d eaten tea I had to be put to sleep in an urgent way? So I was awake when they used the paralytic and then I haemorrhaged to the point that I had 22bags of blood products , was kept in for a week in total as it was a real shit show. Was home for 6 days and then woke up on Halloween so so sick, my neck felt so tight and I had a really hoarse voice. I couldn’t drive because of the operation so I got a bus and a tram back to the hospital that did the surgery.

Waited 10 mins to check in at reception in A&E, walked into triage and left all my stuff in the waiting room and the nurse was like ooh wow, yeah no you need to come with me immediately, went over to majors and saw my neck for the first time that day and it was absolutely gigantic. Dr comes and has a look and put me into resus. I had to get a poor nurse to go and get my stuff from the waiting room!

I was admitted to the same ward I had been discharged from the week before in the bed opposite 🤣. Had a ct scan and lots of antibiotics. On ward rounds the surgeon comes over and says ‘yes we’ll get that drained now’ and I was like ooh yay thank you. Stupid me! He stuck a needle in my neck without any anaesthetic and withdrew 50ml of pus from it. It hurt so much.

I had an ultrasound and it showed I still had 100ml of fluid and that actually the pocket had got bigger between the ct scan on Friday and the ultrasound on Saturday. They then decided I needed a 3rd surgery to put a drain in (again)! And left me nil by mouth for 3 days whilst they dealt with more urgent urgent operations and I completely understood but god I was a grumpy cow!! It didn’t help that I work in the hospital and was trying to keep it quiet and then one of the surgeons ratted me out

I was discharged on the 8th of November, and I quite honestly feel traumatised by the whole thing. I found out on Friday that 5 of the 40 lymphnodes had cancer but the immunotherapy I had before the surgery had killed the cancer and the area of my thyroid that they thought was cancer was just inflammation from the immunotherapy induced hyperactive thyroid, so I’ve got another 12 months of cancer treatments to make sure it doesn’t come back.

Has anyone else had such an unbelievably shocking experience ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Owaala · 10/12/2025 05:43

Oh I name changed because I posted this on a Facebook group for thyroid surgery and didn’t get many responses but don’t want this to be attached to my other posts as this is wildly outing !

OP posts:
Dolamroth · 10/12/2025 05:52

My god, that sounds awful! You poor thing. I think I'd be pretty traumatised by that experience! Are you home now?
Flowers

TheLittleGreenFairy · 10/12/2025 05:53

What a shocking experience, sorry you've been through that and that you've been so unwell. Can you get any counselling through your work?

Friendlygingercat · 10/12/2025 05:54

What a horrible experience. hope you are feeling better now. No Ive not had a horrible hospital experience because I am old and avoid them like the plague. I have thyroid issues too but am on levathyroxine for life. Just watching a TV report about some poor women who had horrendous childbirth experiences. No wonder women are opting out of children.

Yamamm · 10/12/2025 05:54

Good grief you poor woman. Of course you’ll feel traumatised. Do you have support at home? I’m not familiar with these things but would expect there is some sort of support group in the NHS?
Hope things are healing well now.

GoldenLeavesnow · 10/12/2025 05:58

I'm really sorry you are going through this.

I would say it's very normal to experience feelings like this after something traumatic happening to you in hospital. It's scary not knowing what to expect from treatment, having no control and the worry of the diagnosis itself.

If you look at posts from the many women who have suffered during labour, some with zero anesthesia during manual placenta removal, they are truly traumatised by it.

Do you have anyone who could go with you if this was to happen again, to offer support as well as advocate for you? Would writing to Pals to express upset with the pain from the neck injection, specifically no warning about how painful it would be help?

I wish you all the best for recovery.

Original poster
Owaala · 10/12/2025 06:11

Dolamroth · 10/12/2025 05:52

My god, that sounds awful! You poor thing. I think I'd be pretty traumatised by that experience! Are you home now?
Flowers

I am home now x really really tired and my voice has definitely been affected but it should come back!

OP posts:
Fatrascal27 · 10/12/2025 06:16

Nil by mouth for 3 days?? So no food or drink for 3 days?

balletflatblister · 10/12/2025 06:19

Goodness me that's a lot to have gone through. Anyone would be playing it over in their head. It sounds like you've come home very recently, so give yourself a week or so to settle back at home with your home comforts and feel better. Then, if you still feel this way, it might be cathartic to write them a complaint, or talk to someone professionally even

Original poster
Owaala · 10/12/2025 06:32

Fatrascal27 · 10/12/2025 06:16

Nil by mouth for 3 days?? So no food or drink for 3 days?

I had an hour at night between 11 &12 to eat and have a massive drink, as I was on the emergency list I needed to stay nil by mouth as much as possible. I was so hangry, i only got fluids on Monday morning and then they left them up for about 24 hours as my kidneys were not happy at all.

OP posts:
Ileithyia · 10/12/2025 06:40

That’s a very traumatic hospital experience. You’re going to need some counselling to help you with PTSD. I had a traumatic hospital stay, not in the hospital I work in, but as clinical
staff I sometimes feel it affects us differently. And you need to complain to PALS about the surgeon breaching your confidentiality and telling your colleagues you were an inpatient.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 10/12/2025 06:47

YANBU at all. Any kind of emergency hospital visit can be traumatising. In fact I know of someone who had non urgent hospital visits over a period of time and recovered but couldn't face entering one again to visit someone as it was too traumatic. It's very understandable.

I have never been through what you have but I had a meltdown going for a gynae exam because it brought back bad birth memories. I also can't cope with even getting eyelashes done because I think about laser surgery 15 years ago. Nothing compared to your experience. YANBU at all.

Hope you recover well xx

BellissimoGecko · 10/12/2025 06:50

That sounds terrifying. It’s no wonder you’re feeling traumatised. Sounds like a totally normal reaction.

would you consider contacting PALS when you feel better to have a debrief on your stay and to give feedback?

BellissimoGecko · 10/12/2025 06:55

Friendlygingercat · 10/12/2025 05:54

What a horrible experience. hope you are feeling better now. No Ive not had a horrible hospital experience because I am old and avoid them like the plague. I have thyroid issues too but am on levathyroxine for life. Just watching a TV report about some poor women who had horrendous childbirth experiences. No wonder women are opting out of children.

What a bizarre reply. Simply being old and avoiding hospitals like the plague is not enough to ensure that you will never have to be treated in hospital. 🙄

CrossChecking · 10/12/2025 07:13

I think it's pretty common. I have had a life threatening medical emergency twice and needed emergency surgery and I felt traumatised on leaving the hospital too. It sounds like you have been through a lot more than I have.

For me time helped fade it. I think my brain just needed time to catch up to what had happened to my body. Just be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal. Both your body and your mind have been through a lot, it sounds like what you went through was terrifying. I hope that you are on the road to recovery now.

PlazaAthenee · 10/12/2025 07:22

That's not merely a hospital stay. That's a long list of stressful procedures with poor care. I think a lot of people would be upset by that. I hope you are very much on the mend now.

Get yourself onto the PALS website and write up a complaint.

TeatimeForTheSoul · 10/12/2025 07:40

Hi @Owaala I’ve messaged you x

Eenameenadeeka · 10/12/2025 07:46

It makes complete sense that you feel traumatized! It sounds very stressful.
I had trauma explained in a way that makes a lot of sense for me.. if you think about how we normally react to stress- fight or flight activates, and then the stress passes and our nervous system regulates itself and we return to a state of calm. In a traumatic experience, the stress is so high that we get stuck in fight or flight and our nervous system can't regulate itself back to it's normal level, and we remain feeling on edge. What happened to you sounds like it was very stressful, and therefore traumatic. Is there someone you can talk to, your doctor or a therapist, to process the experience a bit better? Sometimes it helps to talk through it.

Strangesally20 · 10/12/2025 07:50

Hi OP I’ve been an ICU nurse for 10 years and the trauma that you feel is very very common after a life threatening emergency. I assume you were in ICU at some point given your major haemorrhage? If you were, look up your trust and see if they offer any aftercare. We have an aftercare clinic called INSPIRE (was actually started in my unit but has been rolled out in many ICUs across the country) it helps people deal with practical things post ICU such as finances, PT, pharmacy issues along with giving patients a debrief and helping people understand what happened to them why it happened and how decisions were made and provides a safe space for people to ask questions. I believe there is a lot of power in fully understanding what happened to you. Similarly to how women who have had a traumatic childbirth are offered a de brief.

Original poster
Owaala · 10/12/2025 07:56

Strangesally20 · 10/12/2025 07:50

Hi OP I’ve been an ICU nurse for 10 years and the trauma that you feel is very very common after a life threatening emergency. I assume you were in ICU at some point given your major haemorrhage? If you were, look up your trust and see if they offer any aftercare. We have an aftercare clinic called INSPIRE (was actually started in my unit but has been rolled out in many ICUs across the country) it helps people deal with practical things post ICU such as finances, PT, pharmacy issues along with giving patients a debrief and helping people understand what happened to them why it happened and how decisions were made and provides a safe space for people to ask questions. I believe there is a lot of power in fully understanding what happened to you. Similarly to how women who have had a traumatic childbirth are offered a de brief.

I was in icu, I didn’t even think about reaching out to the team there. Thank you.

OP posts:
BuddhaAtSea · 10/12/2025 07:59

I agree you’ve been through hell and back. It’s an awful diagnosis, an awful surgery, an awful situation all around. You have every right to be upset, frightened and angry.
What you describe, from a clinical point of view, is not unheard of, but it’s not a catalogue of mistakes and incompetencies, it’s unfair, painful, scary, but it wasn’t anything more than the team trying to heal you and your body going totally haywire. I’m so sorry. You had horrendous complications.
I understand that the unfairness of it all leaves you traumatised. I wish you well, hope you heal well.
You need to be debriefed by your team. There is an aftercare program that deals with this kind of trauma, reach out, they’ll help you process what you have been through.

Freesiapleaser · 10/12/2025 08:01

That's not a shocking experience. That's saving your life multiple times experience. It's normal to have PTSD from that. I remember looking at your posts then and thanking God you were still alive. Unfortunately you had severe complications. It's not nice but it happens. If you hadn't have had the neck dissection you wouldn't for sure know you were cancer free. Melanoma doesn't often go to thyroid but it would be very common to have a concurrent PTA with another cancer. I think you should seek some support - Macmillan coffee centre?
I don't think you had poor care. (Eg - if he draw off pus with a big needle in a&e it was because he didn't think he had time to wait!)

LaurieFairyCake · 10/12/2025 08:03

I think a lot of people get really poor care in hospitals when they’re very unwell.
you literally can’t help being traumatised, it’s not something you can talk yourself out of.
try hard to take care of yourself while you recover Flowers

FcukBreastCancer · 10/12/2025 08:04

You poor thing.
I had appendicitis during the pandemic and was traumatised by it. No beds so was in A&E for 36 hours, no visitors, ward was a total shit show.
A few hours after the op the sent me home in a taxi to get my bed. Receptionist pushed me in a wheelchair to the door. The poor staff on that ward. There were two of them. I imagine there were supposed to be more like 8-10. Huge ward with very difficult and confused patients. (Not me, I just kept quiet and tried to help the ladies near me).

Natsku · 10/12/2025 08:05

Fatrascal27 · 10/12/2025 06:16

Nil by mouth for 3 days?? So no food or drink for 3 days?

I had that, I was in too much pain after surgery and they thought eating and drinking might be making it worse so no food or drink for several days (can't remember how many), fluids by IV to begin with then they added in a nutrient drip (weird seeing this white fluid going into my vein). I remember my mouth being so dry but not being allowed even a tiny sip of water, they just swished a lemon scented moist swab around my mouth.

OP you had a traumatic experience, of course its normal to feel traumatised by it. Please reach out to the hospital and ask for any aftercare or debriefs they can give you.

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