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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if I’m completely fucked for retirement?

57 replies

thisishoiedoit · 09/12/2025 22:42

So I would appreciate realistic opinions from all walks of life…

Am 47, recently divorced. Never really planned properly for retirement, many years as SAHM.

My financial situation currently is:
mortgaged house (with 300k equity)
defined benefit pension worth estimated 800 per month (upon retirement)
state pension record up to date
13k in private pension that I pay circa 500 per month into via my self employed income
workplace pension of of of around 200 per month contributions (part time job due to aforementioned self employment also)

Have I completely fucked my retirement? Would I be better off sacrificing the employed job with crappy pension in place of higher remunerated (but equally much more unstable) self employment?

OP posts:
user927464 · 09/12/2025 22:49

Cant really say from that. How much equity is in the house? How big is it (can you downsize on retirement). When do you want to retire? How much is in the workplace pension. What sort of standard of living do you want when you retire? How much do you earn in your part time job and how much more could you realistically earn if you spent those hours in your self employed role?

Higglea · 09/12/2025 22:52

Even without growth, you’re looking at state pension plus £1k per month at 68. That’s better than many, but you’re adding 700 contributions every month for 20 more years

Kpo58 · 09/12/2025 22:54

How much is left on the mortgage and will you get a tax free lump sum from your defined benefit pension that could pay off the mortgage?

thisishoiedoit · 09/12/2025 22:55

60% equity in the house, but mortgage will be paid off when I retire.
Only started at that job this year so nothing very much in the workplace pension as yet
I don’t do foreign holidays, fancy cars or ‘things’ now so wouldn’t want that in retirement
I earn 3 x as much in my self employed role but it isn’t consistent/ no sick pay/ no holiday pay etc

OP posts:
thisishoiedoit · 09/12/2025 22:56

Kpo58 · 09/12/2025 22:54

How much is left on the mortgage and will you get a tax free lump sum from your defined benefit pension that could pay off the mortgage?

There is a lump sum whatever I do but if I take the smaller lump sum I get the higher pension forecast. Current mortgage is for 19 years so would be gone when I retire.

OP posts:
Kpo58 · 09/12/2025 23:01

I think that you will be fine at retirement.

The defined benefit pension should go up with inflation. You won't be paying the costs for a mortgage, so that's a large chunk of money you won't need to find.

You won't be rich, but you should be fine as long as you don't suddenly want to live the high life and holiday monthly.

dotdotdotdash · 09/12/2025 23:10

You’ll be fine. The best thing is to have no rent or mortgage, you have a decent db pension and 20 yrs more contributions to your private pension.

wfhwfh · 09/12/2025 23:18

I think you will be fine too. You won’t be able to retire early but if youre going to be working (and contributing to your pension) for 20 more years then you’ll be fine

pinkdelight · 09/12/2025 23:21

Could be a lot worse. You’ve got 20 more years to add to the pots, which are already better than many. Sure you could have more, couldn’t we all, but it’s hardly fucked territory.

oneinataxioneinacar · 09/12/2025 23:27

I'm a bit baffled that you think this is fucked.

You will have a paid of house. And already (with 20 years work to go) have a reasonable pension cushion. And how big is the house? Presumably you could downsize if needed?

AlastheDaffodils · 09/12/2025 23:34

OP you are in a better position than 90% of people your age. Including the state pension you’ll have a minimum income of £24k (in today’s money) in retirement with a house paid off. And likely a lot more if you continue contributing to your workplace pension. You’ll be just fine. I wish you all the good health to enjoy it.

thisishoiedoit · 10/12/2025 08:37

Thank you all, that is reassuring. I worry because I was a SAHM for a while, didn’t really pay into a pension, negotiated for more equity on the house in the divorce in favour of leaving his pension alone.

Just worry about the future now but I think if I start focusing on my pension (though still have the mortgage to pay) there is still time.

The DB pension I am very lucky to have. I did five years at a quango before DC and had transferred a small previous public sector pension into it too. It’s pure luck rather than judgement that I have that as part of my future planning and I know I am very lucky there.

OP posts:
itsthetea · 10/12/2025 08:40

That’s not a bad place to be and you have a good few years of saving ahead of you and your next decade was when my pension finally came together

edit to add / don’t just save for the pension / think about now too

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 10/12/2025 08:44

I was expecting a lot worse....

Its not too bad you'll have a house in full and 1k pm or so on top of state pension.

Given its a house you could take in a lodger and monetise that too....

I'm younger i'm paying into a pension like nobody's business and expect 2.5k pm upon retirement

MinnieCauldwell · 10/12/2025 08:50

Not sure why you work PT, I would go FT if possible. I went PT at 55 and it affected my state pension, I had to top up. Despite being in work for 44 years!

Ginmonkeyagain · 10/12/2025 08:58

So with the state pension and your DB pension you'll have £1.8k per month? (This will rise with inflation) and a mortgage free house. Not rolling in it, but not fucked by any means.

I assume your £13k is in a DC pot. I mean the likelyhood of getting that to a point where you could buy a decent annuity is small (as an idea you nees a DC pot of about £300k to buy a pension the equivilent of the state pension).

I would keep saving in both DC pension pots though for the tax breaks and free employer money from your workplace one. I would consider getting some financial advice. It may be worth using some of the DC pot to pay off the remainder of your mortgage once you hit 57 allowing you to focus your last 10 years of emoyment on the more risky but higher paid self employment.

Marmalade71 · 10/12/2025 09:01

I’m not sure the point of this. Quite clearly you’re not fucked, particularly as you have another 20 years to work.

ChristmasIsAMindset · 10/12/2025 09:07

thisishoiedoit · 09/12/2025 22:55

60% equity in the house, but mortgage will be paid off when I retire.
Only started at that job this year so nothing very much in the workplace pension as yet
I don’t do foreign holidays, fancy cars or ‘things’ now so wouldn’t want that in retirement
I earn 3 x as much in my self employed role but it isn’t consistent/ no sick pay/ no holiday pay etc

Genuinely not a snipey comment but presumably you'll pay off the mortgage and have an expensive family home under your belt at some point which, in time, you might wish to sell to buy something smaller and free up some cash.

And this might then tie in to how your plan around the Inheritance Tax Threshold now that you will have a single person limit rather than the married allowance.

Winter2020 · 10/12/2025 09:13

When you consider whether to leave employment for self employment entirely do consider how you will manage if you become ill and unable to work. That might be an insurance product or a savings pot. I'm not sure if I am right that you are working in the public sector but if you are (after a while) you are usually entitled to 6 months full pay, 6 months half pay if you are sick I believe.

There is also I think 3 x salary for death in service from your public sector pension. If you don't have that (or even if you do) consider life insurance if you have a family.

thisishoiedoit · 10/12/2025 09:28

MinnieCauldwell · 10/12/2025 08:50

Not sure why you work PT, I would go FT if possible. I went PT at 55 and it affected my state pension, I had to top up. Despite being in work for 44 years!

Sorry, for clarity I don’t work pt. I am in an employed role 3 days per week and a self employed role 2 days a week. So I am full time just split across two roles. It’s very very common in my line of work.

OP posts:
thisishoiedoit · 10/12/2025 09:30

Winter2020 · 10/12/2025 09:13

When you consider whether to leave employment for self employment entirely do consider how you will manage if you become ill and unable to work. That might be an insurance product or a savings pot. I'm not sure if I am right that you are working in the public sector but if you are (after a while) you are usually entitled to 6 months full pay, 6 months half pay if you are sick I believe.

There is also I think 3 x salary for death in service from your public sector pension. If you don't have that (or even if you do) consider life insurance if you have a family.

Yep, this is exactly why I do the split I have at the moment. I used to be fully self employed and don’t have any aspirations to go back to that for all the reasons you mentioned. It just could earn more that way but with it comes all the risk.

OP posts:
surreygirly · 10/12/2025 09:41

At the moment you are at 2k a month - not quite enough but not a huge shortfall You have plenty of time left to build upma good pension
If I were you I would throw every penny I could into it - and sacrifice other things such as eating out expensive ho9lidays etc

Bjorkdidit · 10/12/2025 09:51

I'm struggling to understand why you'd think you are 'completely fucked'.

You've already got a substantial top up above your state pension plus another 20 years to increase your pension provision so by the time you reach retirement age, even if you don't continue to work full time until then, you'll have a very decent income and own an expensive house outright that will almost certainly give you the option to downsize to release equity.

You also say you 'don't do foreign holidays, fancy cars or ‘things’ now so wouldn’t want that in retirement' so it's not as if you'll need a huge income.

That seems a very healthy position to be in to me.

FastTurtle · 10/12/2025 09:52

Sounds fine to me.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 10/12/2025 10:02

Pay as much into your pensions as you can to receive the tax allowance. If you receive a bonus overpay your mortgage that month. Lots of little things add up. By the way, I don't think you're tucked at all but it does depend on what kind of retirement you want. There are also YouTube videos to watch on how to make the most of your money.

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