Trying not to drip feed or write loads that will be a pain to read. I’m so lost and unhappy and don’t actually know if I’m the problem and why life has ended up like this. Basically I ended things with DD’s father as he kept moving the goal posts in our relationship. One minute desperate for us to buy a home together, the next saying we weren’t ready. Telling me he wanted more kids but then saying it was too son (DD is 5!). I eventually ended it after feeling like my head was spinning after most interactions with him.
He has become quite nasty since I ended it. He used to be fair with money for example but now he will suggest I am a gold digger if I ask for contribution to anything (he already pays cms but that doesn’t go very far). If I say he needs to have DD more as I am struggling with work, for instance I had to go to a conference recently and wasn’t back in time for pick up, he said I had taken charge of his life by having DD. I don’t know exactly what that was supposed to mean but it’s one of many nasty comments. I presume he means I didn’t terminate or he had a baby before he was ready (DD wasn’t planned).
He’s said plenty more things such and too many to list here but what’s got to me recently is he has become resentful of the fact I ended the relationship and if I try and stand up for myself and say why that is, he will say ‘oh you want everything on your terms don’t you,’ and if it’s not your way then that’s it isn’t it, you are always right etc etc etc, it genuinely makes my head hurt… I never thought you could get a headache from someone until I met him. If I dare to mention that it was him who wasn’t ready to commit after so long so I walked away from it, and that we couldn’t not sort out DD’s
school (he wanted to move areas but left it so long I had to apply for her place around here) he will say he was building things with me (DD is now 5) and that I wanted to rush everything and it’s all about me. The worst thing is is he has started saying ‘Dd will know the truth one day.’ I don’t know what it means as the truth is exactly what I’ve said here. I keep questioning what I have done and feel honestly like my head could explode. I am so sad and never wanted a life like this.