Should I pay this?

[TheOldTeaBag]

Car is a skoda octavia, 2010 model. Overall a very reliable car, never had any major work done. Booked it in for a service/repairs prior to the upcoming MOT. Garage rang today to say the repairs were over £700 due to needing a new door panel and various other things. I knew the door was broke. I've used this garage for years and although they're pricey, they're honest. Certain parts had to be sourced from the manufacturers hence the cost. Wasn't overly happy about them not contacting me prior to give me a heads up on the cost (they completed the work already) but tbh I would've likely paid it anyway had they told me as can't afford another car. Told DH the cost and he is utterly furious at me for agreeing to pay. Due to the age of the car, its probably only worth about £1000 however there's no way I can afford a newer car at present or any time in the foreseeable. He thinks I should've scrapped it. I work in a professional role but currently only PT due to young DC, so my take home pay just covers the basics. Either way the work needs to be paid for but I now feel even more crap about his attitude about it all. Buying a car on finance isn't really feasible at present either. Has anyone else been in this situation and what did you do?

Car has done 95000 miles. I don't use it an awful amount as quite often it's cheaper to get a bus etc but I use it a lot for local journeys. As for the £400, I had a lot of bills due when I was off with covid. He asked me a couple of times did I need money, I initially said no. Then I realised I actually could have done with help so I asked for £400 to pay the electric bill. I later offered to pay it back but he said it was fine. However he's made "jokes" about it several times since. I told him quite firmly last week that he was to stop with the jokes. What he said today about "not crawling to him asking for money" really hurt to the point I'm genuinely thinking of leaving over it. We've been together nearly 8 years and thst was the first time I've actually asked him for financial help

If you don't use it much it is even crazier to be spending hundreds of pounds on finance for a car you still won't own. If things get tighter you can just not use your car, but if you had finance you would still have to pay every month.

But your further update is even worse. You are meant to be a partnership. I can't believe the way he spoke to you.

I've never understood why people split the finances like that. Is it a case of "What's his is ours and what's mine's my own."? Because my MIL does that and I just want to.... think of nice happy things to neutralise the anger.

Ask him if he wanted you to scrap the car how would you get a new one, is he going to buy it?

no thought not

God I drive a 2004 Fiat Punto and spent £400 getting it through it's last MOT and was delighted! It is so reliable and has cost me peanuts over the many years I have had it. I have no interest in cars other than them working and all the people I know with fancy new cars have no end of problems with them.

I was in this position earlier this year. I’ve a 14 year old banger that needed over £1k worth of work to pass the MOT. Garage advised me to scrap it. I didn’t because the alternative was to fork out £10k for another secondhand car. Anyway, I got the work done and my car has run like a dream since, so I’m very happy.

Yes I have a 13 year old car that is probably worth £1500 on paper. However it is 100% reliable, never goes wrong, and flies through every MOT without needing a penny spent on it. To me that is worth far more than £1500.

You husband is being a twat. If you are married it's joint money anyway, so the nonsense over £400 is bs.

Now the door on the Skoda is sorted, it's good for another 10 years. Keep it going. Will be cheaper than the depreciation on a newer vehicle.

The car isn't the problem.......

A 15yr old Octavia with under 100k on it is usually well worth keeping on the road.

There's nothing mechanically wrong with it by the sounds of it, and the door was a huge safety issue but once resolved isn't likely to recur on that door or another.

£700 to keep it safe and in use was almost certainly worth every penny. Those cars are bomb proof and there's a reason police love them. They go forever, do it at high speed 😂 and are able to withstand a lot of abuse.

God I miss my old unmarked car 😂😢

If the car lasts more than a few months without requiring further expensive work, then you made the right decision to pay the bill.

However I agree with everyone else that it sounds like your DH is financially abusive and I bet that finances are hugely unfair to you in your marriage. How much personal money do you have compare with him? How come he gets a brand new car and you're driving a banger? Not that there's likely anything wrong with your old Octavia, they're great cars, but it's likely a good illustration of how unfair your finances are.

Why is the electric bill your responsibility?

Why are you asking your husband for financial help?

I do think the garage should have called you, but £700 seems reasonable. A newer car will cost more and it sounds like your financial priorities are elsewhere.

I do think you need to sit down with your husband and have a discussion about money when he's better. Is he frustrated because you make poor financial decisions that he could have offered constructive advice with? Or do you earn less and so the joint lifestyle you are trying to lead means that you need to rethink how money is split? Past a certain point it just doesn't work in a couple to have things too uneven. Either you split money more equally or he pays for some fun things for you both.

In practical terms what were your options. You wouldn't be able to get a replacement car for £700 so I think you made the right choice.

You dh is totally out of order. Did he want you to have to go crawling back to him for more money that he can throw up in your face.

The fact he 'lent' you £400 and you have very separate cars sounds as though you have very separate finances, in which case he can be told to fuck off. I find the concept of lending money between spouses really odd.

I'd give him back the £400 and in principle insist on driving my car whenever you go out together i.e. he can keep his shiny car to him self.

I'd also really be re-considering staying with someone like that.

And yes why doesn't he pay the electricity bill?????

I never understand the mindset that, if the open market price that a stranger would pay to buy your (entirely unknown to them) old car is less than the cost of repairs that will make your trusty, reliable, familiar car that you've owned and used for many years good again for many more miles, it must be scrapped.

Yes, if you're endlessly patching it up and fire-fighting things that are going to keep failing again and again, it's probably time to stop sinking your money into it and let it go to the scrapper; but when it's one or two components that have eventually worn out (or been damaged in an accident), which can be replaced and likely last for another 5, 10, 15 more years of reliable motoring... what on earth is the point in automatically declaring it not worth it and then having to find several thousands for a replacement? Especially if you're replacing it with another newer-but-still-used car, which can have any number of potential faults waiting around the corner for you, which may well have been the reason the current owner offloaded it when they did.

You seriously need to divorce him OP, and I don’t say that often

”This is what happens when you make decisions by yourself” my fat fucking arse 😡

You deserve so much better than him

Your reasoning is sound, OP.

I had a similar situation. My car was worth £2,000 and I always said I wouldn't pay a large repair fee but actually if the car is reliable, and the repair isn't for something major like engine failure lol, then it's worth paying.

£700 is pretty reasonable, the garage should have called first but I'd have gone ahead with that if it was mean. You now have a safe car, reliable and you don't have to look for a new car when it's always a busy time of year. Plus you won't get a new car for £700.

Keep the car and ditch the dh. At least the car is fixable. His attitude not so much.

We have a similarly aged car and recently paid similar sum to fix stuff on it (forgotten what as had another repair at that price a couple of years ago) - keep thinking we should trade it in but actually it is fine mostly and while it is painful at the time to pay these big repair bills overall I think it has still been cheaper than getting a new vehicle. We now have a monthly savings pot for car repairs so that we build up money towards stuff that needs doing as some things like tyres etc are going to wear out no matter the age of the car

The car is a red herring. The issue is your DH.

He's abusive and this isn't a loving, balanced relationship. You have a very rare LTB from me.

I don't like your DH Op. Hopefully there's something redeeming about him you haven't told us.

Why not think about the cost not as £700, but rather £50 odd quid a month for the next year or £30 quid for the next two years. When you factor the cost of the repair in that way, then actually it's not bad all all in exchange for a reliable car to get you where you need to go.
Also the second hand car market is crazy at the moment, so £700 could work out as a solid investment in the long run over a new car