Taking my 3 year old out of nursery in my first trimester of pregnancy

[Winniehere]

Hi mums, I have a 3 year old attending nursery on full time. She is happy there most of the time but since November she already had two sicknesses with high temperature and bad cough. For the last two weeks there has been HFMD, scarlet fever and one suspected case of slapped cheek. I wouldn't worry about all these bugs normally but currently I am 9 weeks pregnant and I just realized how slapped cheek can affect pregnancy. I am sure that I don't have any immunity against slapped cheek and chickenpox so I am constantly worried about the possibility of getting them.

I am thinking about taking her out of nursery to look after her 3 days a week using my annual leave and hiring a baby sitter for two days in a week, until I am 20 weeks when the risk of slapped cheek is much lower. However, somehow I am wondering if I am acting over the top and if it's just me catastrophizing things.

Therefore I am needing some objective and fresh pair of eyes to look at my situation and give me some advice or suggestions. Thank you!

That's tricky and I understand the worry.

But I would worry about unsettling her so much before the new baby arrives.

Taking her out of nursery, getting her used to just you and the babysitter, and then back to nursery, and then boom a new baby too. I think it's a recipe for disaster.

Hi OP, I am a primary school teacher, so was exposed to all sorts of illnesses in my pregnancies. Immunity to slapped cheek and chickenpox can be checked via a blood test. I wasn’t sure re slapped cheek, so asked for a blood test. Turns out I am immune. I had no idea! I would go to your GP/midwife first and ask for a blood test before making any decisions.

Re chicken pox, surely she's had the vaccine? My toddler has definitely the jab, I think I paid for it but it's free now.

I agree with pp, there are downsides to removing your 3 year old that you need to consider, she is about to have a huge change at home with a new sibling, and having her happy and settled at nursery is a really big positive for her. On balance the risk to health is low and wouldn't outweigh the negatives for your 3 year old for me.

Not if you intend to send her back. It's not fair on her and it'll make your life a lot harder.

We took my son out at 24 weeks because chicken pox was rife, but he was then out until his baby sister was 6 months old, and he started preschool. It was at his old nursery, but marked enough of a change, and he was very happy to go back.

It'd never have worked if we wanted him to go back, it's so, so much change.

You can ask your midwife to test for chicken pox immunity in some areas, but it can be a bit pointless if they won't vaccinate you, so check that first. I don't hold any immunity to chicken pox so vaccinating me isn't worthwhile, so I do understand the stress.

I'd just instil really good hygiene methods, and have a plan for if she comes home with anything - enlisting your partner/her Dad/anyone else you've got to assist as much as possible.

We paid to vaccinate DS1 for chickenpox when DP was pregnant. It was about £200 which will be cheaper than hiring the babysitter and taking loads of time off work. As PP says, you can get your GP to test you for slapped cheek immunity.

Hi all thank you for your quick response!

I do feel sorry for my little girl as she is really happy at the nursery and has many best friends. Also it seems that the nursery won't accept long term absence as she receives 30 hours of free funding. If we take her out if could mean withdrawing her from the nursery completely, and after I am 20 weeks we will have to find her a new nursery. I do indeed feel sorry to deprive her of her socializing/learning/interacting with her friends.

I had my first midwife appointment yesterday and had a blood test for slapped cheek and chicken pox, waiting for the results within 72 hours. I am not born and raised in this country and my mother said I didn't have chicken pox and slapped cheek when I was little. I hope the blood results show antibody for both but if not, slapped cheek is more worrying for me as my little girl already had 2 chicken pox vaccine when she was one.

We have high hygiene protocols like taking off her outer clothes when she comes back, giving her a quick shower and lots of handwashing. But still I can't get rid of this thoughts of slapped cheek which makes me really worried.

I am a worrier and I do worry about a lot of things, and the midwife has referred me to mental heath service due to this. I know I must be catastrophizing things but I just don't know how not to keep doing this!

yes she was vaccinated for two doses, it is the slapped cheek that I am more worried about.

Well unless you intend keeping her indoors just the two of you until you reach 20 weeks which won’t be good for anybody, she may as well go to nursery.

I understand the fear, honestly, but unless she's not going to socialise with anyone, you can't avoid all illnesses, and slapped cheek is a common one. She's 3, and she sounds settled and well socialised, she'll be miserable without opportunities to learn and socialise.

I really think you need help re your anxiety, as this is an irrational decision.

The hygiene protocols are borderline too much and could be creating MH issues in your youngest.