Another mum has been slagging me off

[SqishySqashmas]

Our children are in the same class.

My child has had repeated issues with her child, including having her property stolen on more than one occasion.

I initially put it down to immaturity, needing to learn to get on etc and gave the girl another chance.

However this child has now said the following to my DD:

1. Her mum doesn't like me
2. I don't love my DD
3. I am not DD's real mum
4. DD's dad left me
5. I wasn't going to watch DD in the school play

etc, etc, etc, etc

It's all so downright mean and nasty. Also, not true. These type of comments seems to be her general response whenever my DD stands up to her.

Number 4 is particularly upsetting: It was me that initially ended my relationship due to financial abuse and signs of other abuse starting. My ex is sadly deeply troubled due to previously undisclosed childhood abuse and has now chosen to completely walk away from DD. This has obviously been extremely traumatic both myself for DD. The other mum knows the very basics of this. I don't underdstand how she can be such a complete and utter bitch!

The school know all this and they will hopefully keep them apart as much as possible.

How do should I deal with this parent moving forward? I know I should just rise above it and say nothing but it's really pissing me off that this mum and her DD are saying things that just aren't true.

Should I speak to the mum? I really shouldn't have to explain myself and my circumstances to her. Can I expect school to get involved regarding what she has been saying about me?

I don't think she's been gossiping to other parents but would't put it past her.

She is also a single parent. I've no idea what the circumstances are but that the also dad isn't really involved either. It saddens me that we're in a similar boat and she's turned on me, all because her DD can't treat her friends nicely.

How do I put a stop to this and nip it in the bud?

Ignore and move on. Don’t engage with further drama - that is what she wants.

How do you know the mum is saying that? The child could just be lying to be mean. I would just speak to school

It's the child saying all of this though - not the mum? You could speak to the mum about what the child is saying to set things straight, but you can't assume that the mum is saying all of this about you.

Agreed.

Now is a good time to teach your dd some peoples opinions matter and other people's really just don't - They are totally unimportant and inconsequential.

I think an appropriate phrase is

“well she’s a big stinky bottom isn’t she”

She's a sad dickhead. Totally ignore and deal with any of the kid issues with the school. Honestly, things like this aren't worth giving the time of day. Once she realises you don't give a shit and that you are not going to respond it all becomes very boring and she'll give up.

I wouldn't do anything other than ensure my daughter was happy in school.

I would let the school deal with all of it and keep my distance

Agree with ignoring except telling your dd that some people make up stories and fibs which can feel really bad, hence why it’s important to tell the truth. I’d be doing what I could to distance myself from both child and parent.

@SqishySqashmas sounds more like it might be the child saying this! If it is the mum then she is clearly to immature to be reasonable so i would support your daughter and completely ignore them

I will definitely just ignore it for now. Everyone is right, I can't be sure the child is getting these nasty comments from home...I'm now wondering DDs "friend" might be clutching at straws and copying things that have maybe been said to her by other children.

In that case, the school do have a bit of an issue that they need to deal with. No child should be stigmatising single parent families by saying "Your dad left your mum" to anyone - whether it's true or not.