To ask if you’ve ever met your brother’s girlfriend and thought… she could do better?

[ThatTipsyMaker]

No shade (okay, maybe a little) but has anyone else met their brother’s girlfriend and silently thought, “oh babe… you could’ve done better?” Maybe it’s the way he talks to her. Maybe it’s the lack of ambition. Maybe it’s just that you know he’s punching and she hasn’t figured it out yet.

I’m not talking about hating your brother, I love mine. But I’ve definitely had moments where I looked at the woman he was dating and thought, she seems way too kind/smart/put-together for this nonsense.

AIBU to admit that sometimes… even family can look mismatched?

Tbf I think this about everyone who dates my brother! 😂

I thought that once then she dumped him. I daren't think it again.

No brother, but about male female relationships ALL the time 😔

Yes! It's widely thought about my brother and his long-term partner. It's a mystery to everyone what she's getting from the relationship!

No! But to be fair, my brother is awesome. So is his fiancée, so neither of them is settling for less.

I have definitely thought it about some of my male friends’ girlfriends/wives though…

Me and my mum have this conversation about my brother and his partner all the time.

But she lives rent free in his house, gets ferries around, my mum has their dog, he tolerates her insecurities when she acts like a princess.

Wonder if they think the same way about you?

Not brother as I don't have any. But my cousin definitely. At one point he was dating this really smart, gorgeous girl about 20 years younger.

They seemed like they had nothing in common as he wanted a housewife and she had a career planned. There was also a language and cultural barrier though her English was fantastic.

They were on course to marry I think but then, unsurprisingly she chucked him. She had a lucky escape!

Well yes, my brother's wife.

I may even have drunkenly voiced it to her one Christmas when we were in the kitchen clearing up after the Christmas dinner she had cooked and he was still sitting at the table enjoying himself while shovelling in his third helping, showing no signs of being ready to assist her whatsoever.

Possibly, people are free to think what they like. This post isn’t about ranking myself though, it’s about noticing dynamics from the outside.

100%. and he’s managed to marry her. I am thankful every day as he was shaping up to be a problem in old age and now he’s her problem.

The opposite in my family. My brother was bright, ambitious, adventurous, very outdoorsy and active. Her family (led by her dad who has a massive chip on his shoulder) live on a large council estate where everything they need is in a 1 mile radius of where they live). They openly scorn 1) anyone who stays at school to study A'levels, or Uni, 2) doesn't work in a manual job, 3) goes abroad, 4) drives. Their worlds are just so small and they sucked my brother in. All they did was watch TV all day.

I don't have a problem with council estates - both my parents were brought up on them, but the way they brainwashed him into thinking like them makes me cry. My brother had a decent inheritance when my parents died before their time which would have got them out of that toxic environment, but it just disappeared on take-aways, taxis and trips to the cinema, and he died without any money to pass on to his daughter or even pay for his funeral (which I covered).

Often relationships work because you have one passenger and one driver

our friends husband is like a wet weekend no drive and ambition but she’s very driven always in charge and it’s her way or no way

it works . She openly admits she’d last 5 minutes with someone who was the same as her

I'm always wondering when the penny's going to drop with my brother's relationships! I love him to death but he's impossible to live with. Every girlfriend he's had has run for the hills within a year.

My sister in law better be on this thread 😉

No brothers but my husband had 2 younger brothers and whenever either got a GF I would think oh you poor soul, you seem so nice, what are you doing with him. To be fair none of them lasted long so I guess they soon saw it for themselves. Neither brother ever married or lived with anyone. They seemed to think they deserved only the best without considering their own attributes.

To be fair I thought my male cousin could have done better than his wife (they're now divorced). She was ok but really demanding and changed her mind constantly i.e. they bought a house, 6 weeks later she hated it and cried until he agreed to move. Fair enough one lot of buyer's regret but it happened twice more. She moved jobs every 6 months too. I think she was just an unhappy person always searching for happiness through change. I was sad for them and their child when they divorced but also relieved for cousin getting off that rollercoaster.

Meanwhile my parents seem to think my husband is too good for me, lots of "joking" but persistent comments along the lines of how does he put up with you, you should look after him better etc. Maybe I'm awful, who knows!

I frequently wonder what black magic my brother has put on his wife and why she puts up with him but she seems to adore him. Not my business. Although I did tell her once when he was being particularly unreasonable that if she ever wanted to leave him I'd be on her side.

Oh, and as an aside, I met the sister of an ex at a party quite recently. I recognised her from family photos I'd seen and said that she didn't know me but I used to go out with her brother. She immediately said, "Oh my goodness, I'm SO sorry." She wasn't wrong, he was dreadful. 😂

I was going to come on to say that this is what my parents think about me and DH. (Well, my mum.) They can't believe I've been so lucky and give me the side-eye when I step out of trad wife role (quite a lot). I might lose him, you see, if I don't do all the laundry / washing up / cooking / shopping etc.

100%

Martina you are beautiful inside and out!
You were way too good for him and he dumped you horribly!!!

I think of you occasionally and hope you are living a good and happy life!!!
🌈🍷😊🥞🌤

Yes this all sounds very familiar. My mum tells me off for wearing tracksuit bottoms around the house as apparently it makes men "go off". Similar with the cooking etc which we share. I haven't told them that I'm also the higher earner, they might faint with horror.

Meanwhile husband is still here after 30 years, seems quite happy!

My step-brothers ex - absolutely.

Not my actual brothers though. My mom
raised some exceptional blokes.

My mum is like this! Gave me such a complex telling me I'm not nice enough and he'll leave me etc etc. Also all the bad habits i learnt, I learnt from how she treats my dad! (It's "different" apparently) Ironically me turning out like my my mum is my husband's worst fear.

No, my brother’s only introduced two partners to me. The first one was great and actually very like him in many ways. The second one was a horrible unstable nightmare who was abusive to him and he could have done way better.

A couple of times I’ve felt a bit sorry for my sister’s boyfriends. Not because I thought they could do better, exactly - in fact she has quite the track record of picking men who are way less intelligent and interesting than her - but more because I could just tell she wasn’t really that into them and was, albeit subconsciously, using them.

Tbh I loathe the idea of ranking people by looks, personality, drive, earning potential, etc. etc. which is what this boils down to.
If people click, then great. And if they don't, well it's none of my business.