about me friend's wedding arrangements? Sorry, long...

[hotcrossbunny]

I probably am BU but here goes...

Dh and me have been invited to our very good friend's wedding in August. It's a child free 'do' which is a shame as he is dd's god-father, but of course that is their choice to make, and my parents have very kindly agreed to babysit for us. Coincidentally it happens to be the weekend of our 10th wedding anniversary so dd wont be spending it with us, which is a shame, but not a major problem.

Anyway, we got a phonecall last night from our friend with the date for the Stag do. Its the same day as our daughter's 5th birthday. He was slightly apologetic and asked if it would be a problem, did we have any plans? Um, yes, we'll be having a birthday party that day! I told dh the news when he got home and fortunately he was adamant he wouldn't be going, but it seems such a shame.

I was quite surprised as our friend is dd's godfather, and he's been really involved in her life so far. I guess weddings take precedent...

but surely the party would be in the day time and the stag do would be in the evening!

and you get a weekend away on your anniversary without dd......

winning all round imho!!

I think you are being a tad unreasonable. Isn't the stag do an evening thing anyway? Also it is a nice chance for you and dh to spend sometime together for your wedding anniversary, can't you book into a hotel for the night? IMO wedding anniversaries are about you and dh nothing to do with your children.

I hate child free weddings - weddings are about families as are children.

But he could have made his stag weekend not your dd birthday - plenty of other w/es....but it is his do.

Well, no.
Your things take precedence for you. Their things take precedence for them.

Agree with Collision - or is it one of those stag extravaganzas rather than a few pints?

i think weddings do take precedence.
also, childs brithday party is likely to be in the day, stag at night. so both are doable

What Madonna said

I think it's unfortunate but probably a timing issue for them, when organising it. Don;t take offence! We got married on my then boss's wedding anniversary, and gave them a card as part of the speeches - it was someone else's borthday so they got a card too. Sometimes, special days belong to more than one person.

You are probably not being unreasonable but these things have a habit of happening. Can you not 'move' your daughters party to the day before? We regularly used to do this if the birthday fell on a school day - used to have the presents/celebration at the weekend.

got to say with organising a wedding / hen do myself at the moment it is really hard to find a date that would suit everyone, so we agreed as a couple that we would go with what was best for us. If he was slightly apologetic about it then he is acknowledging that this might be a problem for you but its what is best for him.

Go an enjoy your anniversary among all the romance of the wedding and have a wee night away as well

maybe it was the day that suited him best. Can;t beleive that your DD's 5th birthday party is going to be so wild and raucous that your DH will be incapable of attending a stag do in the evening. UNless its a whole day in which case he can say nicely... yes it is a poroblem but I will come in the evening.

Plus what madonna said. Your DD is the most important thing in your life, but not their's.

I agree about the wedding tbh, its just funny it's the same time as out anniversary, and in our family we all celebrate the anniversary in the same way they celebrated our wedding IYSWIM, so dd would be part of it.

However, Stag do is a day out, so can't do stag and birthday. Birthday party is already booked and invitations sent, so unmovable. Just a shame.

Just spotted the 'me' in thread title. Oops

I think YANBU actually - I mean this is your child's godfather and that's supposed to be one of the key people in her life, isn't it?! I would have thought he could have remembered her 5th birthday. Even if he wanted it on the same day, he could have compromised and made it an evening do so that your DH could come and he could spend time with his god-daughter.