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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Annoying family

17 replies

GladLurker · 08/12/2025 20:26

Views please

I have ongoing annoyances with my parents as you can see from my other threads. They have a very unhappy and volatile relationship, I'm an only child so have the joy of listening to both sides complain about the other constantly. They both rely heavily on seeing my son (their grandson) for happiness and go in moods etc when they don't see him at least weekly. They don't live far.

Things came to a head a couple of weeks ago when my dad kept asking my son for a hug, my son (3 years old) kept saying no, my dad then waves his arms about in the air saying 'whats this all about?' Like actually offended by a 3 year old. Then she'd off in his car (we were saying goodbye outside house) This isn't the first time this has happened, but I'd had enough that day and said 'he doesn't need to give you a hug if he doesn't want to, he's 3, you need to get over it'

To which my dad stormed off and I haven't heard from him since.

I will 100% be made to feel i am in the wrong for this. My dad thinks everyone is wrong about any topic bar him. I write this post just to make sure this isn't normal behaviour, am I right to be fed up with this constant need for attention from my 3 year old? The offense when my son doesn't give affection on demand etc is just a joke to me and I've had enough of the moods etc. Try to teach my son boundaries etc so I find the situation frustrating.

Thanks.

OP posts:
Talltreesbythelake · 08/12/2025 20:29

Who is the toddler in this situation, cos your Dad is looking like the main contender. Let him strop, you have to advocate for your son until he is old enough to stand up for himself.

GladLurker · 08/12/2025 20:30

Yes, tantrums often worse with my parents 😂 thanks.

OP posts:
Lovetoshare · 08/12/2025 20:34

Nightmare! Your DC is their sole joy. I bet it’s difficult not getting a gorgeous cuddle from your gorgeous grandchild. But! This is a them issue not your DC’s. At three, saying no is probably fun for him.

Forget about it. Move on. Not a biggy.

GladLurker · 08/12/2025 20:35

Yes you're right my son does say no to hugs at times to wind people up as a joke, its just his cheeky personality. But my dad had had PLENTY of hugs just prior to this.

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 08/12/2025 20:38

Every sensible person on the planet knows that you shouldn't force hugs on children. ( Apart from anything else, they can smell the desperation and will resist with every fibre of their being.)

Your dad is a prat.

Grandchildren aren't put on earth to serve the egos of prats.

Lovetoshare · 08/12/2025 20:39

@GladLurker

The overbearing Granddad! They’ll work it out between them as your DC gets older. Not worth falling out over.

Lovetoshare · 08/12/2025 20:40

@thistimelastweek

Harsh!

Offcom · 08/12/2025 20:41

My takeaway from your story is that, in spite of your shit parents, you’re raising a kid who feels confident enough to say no - and you had the courage to defend him.

Your dad stormed off because he was quite rightly ashamed. He’ll probably manage to come up with some alternative narrative but you’re in the right and the proof is in the three-year-old pudding. I’d be so proud to be you!

Floundering66 · 08/12/2025 20:41

My little boy says no to hugs all the time. My parents just laugh and make a joke of it, because they are adults.

GladLurker · 08/12/2025 20:43

When these situations arose in the past and I'm given the silent treatment its always me who reaches out first to keep the peace, but I actually cannot be bothered at this point as I am not in the wrong. Its more like the straw that broke the camels back. I agree with you though.

OP posts:
randomusernam · 08/12/2025 20:43

Don’t let him make you feel guilty someone doesn’t have that power over you. Now is the time to stand up for your child. Do not contact him, let him contact you. Tell him you love him but you are unwilling to let him have a tantrum because my 3 year old doesnt want a hug.

Lovetoshare · 08/12/2025 20:45

@GladLurker

Enjoy the peace! It won’t last long. Your parents will be desperate to see your DC soon enough and will call.

chattyness · 08/12/2025 20:47

Stand your ground, when I was a wee girl I was forced into being hugged by my granny ( mum's mum) she squeezed too tight and it hurt, my wrist would be bruised where she'd grabbed a hold of me to pull me in for one of her suffocating squeezes. I used to be forced to sit by her every time she visited which was daily. If I kicked up a fuss I was called an attention seeking troublemaker. Please keep sticking up for your son OP, He'll hug when he's ready - or not !

GladLurker · 08/12/2025 20:47

You are so correct!

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 08/12/2025 20:48

Lovetoshare · 08/12/2025 20:40

@thistimelastweek

Harsh!

I honestly don't think I was harsh.
A grown man flouncing about a child's pretty normal behaviour.
I just can't get on board with that.

GladLurker · 08/12/2025 20:54

That is so kind, thank you. @offcom

OP posts:
Megirlan123 · 08/12/2025 20:58

Oh no!

no one should be forced to hug someone else! Your dad needs to grow up x

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