To turn down a lunch with my workplace mentor?

[pharmatical]

I started a new job over a month ago. I was assigned a workplace mentor to help me get settled in, answer any questions, be a friendly face etc. We get a really healthy budget to go for coffees or lunches (hundreds of £).

I was meant to meet with my mentor on the first day. They sent a message telling me they'd need to rearrange til tomorrow and we'd get lunch. I usually bring packed lunch. Then on the day, I just heard nothing.

Then I bumped into him a couple of weeks later and he said he'd been busy but let's go for a really nice lunch. I found a slot and again didn't bring food in, kept my calendar clear. On the morning of he cancelled and asked to rearrange.

You guessed it, he did it again. So we are now on the fourth proposed day to do lunch which will now be in January. AIBU to decline this lunch if he flakes again?

The whole point was that it was when I was meant to be new and to ask advice and now I'm settling in fine and fed up of keeping my lunches clear only to be cancelled on.

I’d request a new mentor. Does your manager ever ask how it’s going with them?

I did think about asking for a new mentor, but I feel like that will cause drama

I’m not saying that they are doing this, but somewhere I worked, the mentor was still going on all the lunches, claiming back the expenses and entertaining his floosie but HR thought he was supporting his mentee.

Ask for a new mentor.

When do you have a 1:1 with your manager?

You could just ask how mentorship works within the company and sat that while Mr Busy Bigshot seems nice and you can see why you would benefit from his guidance, he appears very busy so is there anyone else you should be linking in with for day to day support?

I aren't demanding a new member, you are polietly enquiring about more support.

A decent manager should be asking you how the mentoring is going.

I would probably just assume when it is rearranged ir will be cancelled and bring lunch with me. If the manager raises it with me I would say Ted needed to rescheduled unfortunately but could I quickly ask a b and c.
I work alongside an organisation where people's diaries are often managed outside their controls and things are changed without their say, particularly people in high regard in company.

What happens to the ££££?

This did spring to mind…..

I would mention it to your line manager if he flakes again. Not a formal complaint, but a ‘just so you know that didn’t really work out’.

He might get an extra payment for pretending to be a mentor. I'd ask for a new one.

I'd reply saying why don't we book a room in the office for this catch up, it's easier to arrange than venturing out of the office? I'd also request a regular meeting on that basis every month.

If he continues to cancel, I'd forward the email chain and explain the background to your boss stating that the current mentor's workload doesn't allow him to find time for mentoring you and could they please assign somebody else for this role.

I want to be clear yanbu to feel this way but yabu to do this.

The votes might say yanbu and to decline but politically this is a bit of a stupid.thing to do (as you dont have the lie of the land yet)

Ypu cam suggest an in office catch up as per @GrooveArmada post.

I think you can accept and should it pass and he cancels again you can then send them a polite preemptive platitude of a note and say x y and z have been soooo helpful with orientation and you have found your feet and you appreciate he is busy.amd thanks for the memories.