No more Christmas gifts or birthday presents.

[LA1988]

Since I left my youngest childs dad he has only ever given them a £25 xbox gift card for their birthday/Christmas (that's one gift card to cover both) last year I challenged it & asked why it was that amount & only for a specific thing when his other children (who live with him) get lots of presents on both their birthdays & Christmas so we agreed i could pick up gifts around birthday & Christmas time for our child. Everything went fine. I picked the gifts up, thanked him, was polite etc (we didnt end on good terms). Now this year he didnt send any gift cards for their birthday or even buy any gifts. Instead hes said any money he would spend on them usually for birthday /Christmas he will put to one side & they can have it when their older enough (he didnt specify age etc) of course I asked why & he said it was "no longer logistically possible" I dont see how when I picked them up last year after a 12hr work shift both times. When I asked if he would be doing the same with his other 2 children (not giving them gifts & putting it to one side) he ignored me. My argument is why is my child being treated differently to the others? Why do they get to open their gifts on their birthdays and at Christmas when my child gets nothing. I think its really unfair but my ex refuses to discuss the matter any further

A savings account is a much better gift than piles of ‘stuff’ but he’ll need to be backing up what he’s ’promised’ by sending an annual statement in a Christmas card won’t he?

Thank you its been hard im not gonna lie but 1 thing i decided early on when she was diagnosed was i wasn't going to waste any energy on worrying about him being present or even a decent human being because that would have just taken away from the energy I was focusing on my daughter.

It’s what terrible Fathers do.
Walk away without a backward glance.
I spent years excusing bad behaviour.
When my son graduated he didn’t invite his Father.
My Husband was invited as he was the one who had supported him.
They will be ok because they have you.
x

What a shit! How old are your kids?

Well he's a fucking arsehole. And you are trying to prop him up and cover for his shitty behaviour. Let him be a deadbeat Dad. Be honest with your children. Let him disappear. He's a dick.

Clearly scum.

Our child is 11. His dad & his partner both work. He has one child from a previous relationship. One with me. One with his new partner & her 2 children from a previous relationship. I have savings account for our child offered the details but he said he didnt want them. He never picks up or drops off. He's started all these fun & games since he met his new partner. They went on holiday abroad with all the kids in August my child wasn't invited. He constantly pleads poverty when it comes to CM. So it keeps getting reduced but he works full time. Only been with his new partner a year & in that time her & her kids have moved in. They've had a baby together & got engaged 3 months ago. It baffles me. Sometimes I feel like he is punishing our child because I left.

I’m so very very sorry to hear that that’s awful. I hope you are managing ok and have other support 💐

My DCs biological other parent was similar. The courts revoked his parental rights and I became the only legal parent. My DC is in their 30s now and this year after 25 years of no contact I was sent a death threat aimed at my son and I had to go to the police station literally sobbing. some men are absolute monsters.

I'll eat my hat if they ever see any of the money he is "putting away"

I don’t blame you. When these men show their true colours it’s best to wipe them from your mind entirely and focus on the kids. Sending you much love x