Sorry the cryptic title was to summarise how I’m feeling.
As the title says; we have sold the ‘family home’ and I am now searching for my first house to buy on my own. I have a good amount of equity but won’t be able to borrow much as on 33K.
My children are settled in the local school. Eldest is excited about starting the local secondary. Trouble is that I cannot afford to stay in the local area. For 260K I’d get a nice two first or or upper floor bed flat, that’s it. I don’t mind flats but my child has additional needs and really needs a garden to burn off energy. I also would feel incredibly anxious about noise.
All the shared ownership seems to have dried up or they go incredibly fast to FTB which I am not.
Also school has a very small catchment area which covers none of the cheaper areas. My worry is that we are also inner city and the areas are a bit dicey/ stabbings, I’m feeling increasingly nervous about the prospect of letting my eldest out on her own. Partly as she’s SEN and super vulnerable (takes everything as truth, very empathetic) and we have a lot of halfway houses and mental health/ forensic specialist housing by us. I know as I work in the sector.
I grew up on the outskirts of the city and it is much cheaper. Around 100K cheaper. I could get a nice size three bed with a garden. My parents still live there so it would be nice for the kids too.
Part of me is very tempted but it’s not all roses. Where I grew up there is a lot of deprivation too, it’s kind of a mix of poor white people and well off white people who wanted to be nearer the countryside but still need to commute.
When I was a teenager I was so bored yet also got into loads of trouble. I remember thinking that everything exciting was happening somewhere else. I swore I would never move back or bring my kids up somewhere so dull.
Being close to the city has its benefits. My children have a great group of friends who are diverse in terms of interests, culture, neurodiversity. My eldest has friends who value her quirkiness and kindness. Their parents are super sociable and we all hang out at the park in the summer. There’s a lot of single parents and we have a lovely hub of mutual support and have wine at each others houses. I think part of it is that we’ve all moved so formed our own ‘family’.
I don’t get the feeling I’d get that in the suburbs, everyone seems to have their own little fenced off house and drives. I could be wrong though! It could have changed. But my mum brought me up here as a single parent and had no friends.
I also really wanted my children to be close to the city where there is good opportunities, good schools, two universities. There is a range of groups for teens, rather than them hang about on the streets like I did. In the old area, it’s an hour on the bus to the centre.
Old area is about 30 minutes drive (3 miles) from school. I would have to abandon my dream of them walking to school.
Would I transfer their school? Certainly for my youngest he wouldn’t get into his sister’s school.
Also ex is in a house halfway between school and new area, but out of catchment, so to go to either of their houses the kids couldn’t walk.
I suppose the options are:
two bed flat in current area and move again when I earn more (roughly five years). Moving obviously costing around 20K each time.
three bed house in hometown and keep kids in current school, drive them to school each day.
three bed house in hometown and move their schools, hope they make new friends.
three bed house in different area, move schools but prioritise staying close to town. This is likely impossible as no cheap areas close to town exist.
Help!