To Have a Mini Afternoon Tea Rant

[AfternoonTeaTotty]

Disclaimer: complete first world problem, that goes without saying. Not at all important in the big scheme of things.

I was gifted an afternoon tea voucher for myself and DH by a very lovely and amazing friend who knows I love going out for afternoon tea. She's a wonderful soul and so thoughtful so would never say anything at all to her because I truly appreciate her. We went and had a lovely time because it was just special to sit and enjoy a quiet moment of calm and relaxation. But...

Has anyone else noticed how much places are taking the p@!? when it comes to afternoon tea now? Used to be lovely scones, nice slices of cake, decent sandwiches, lovely pot of tea and maybe a glass of bubbles if it's a special occasion. Yesterday it was tiny, tiny sandwiches with odd fillings, tiny strange combination micro cakes which were just weird and tea that I'm sure was Tesco red label tea bags. A glass of prosecco that tasted like a £5.99 bottle special. Scones were good to be fair. But if we had paid for it, it would have been £40 each for this experience, so £90 for two of us 😮

There was a table next to us, a group of ladies who didn't look very impressed with the food but were trying not to say anything. Their bill would have easily been £400-500.

I completely get that places are struggling with the cost of everything but surely it would easier and cheaper to do an old style afternoon tea. With slices of cake and straightforward sandwich fillings? Less time and less fiddly.

Has social media killed this off now because everything has to be Instagram worthy instead of tasty? Since when did they charge so much for so little?

Plus it didn't help that the guy tried to charge me for the meal when we left despite knowing we were there on a gift voucher. Tried to charge me £50 saying he'd give me a discount. That was until I gave him the hard stare and reminded him it had already been paid for. He tried to insist but saw he wouldn't get anywhere so caved. Cheeky F@#!?#

Went for an afternoon tea in Moffat last year and it ruined every one after that.
They know how to do it as it should be.

We have an independent cafe near us that does an amazing afternoon tea. £29 each but lovely food, and wonderful service. They start it with a little cup of thick warm soup, then into the fresh sandwiches of choice, cheese and plain scones, lovely fresh cakes and little desserts.

Norfolk based if anyone’s curious.

I much prefer the good old fashioned Scottish high tea - buttered toast and all

North Scotland! A long way from Somerset

I have a savoury tooth rather than a sweet one so find the balance of afternoon teas inevitably weighted in favour sweet stuff. I’d much prefer more sandwiches and just one or two tiny sweet things. I recently had an Afternoon Cheese though and it was delicious. The usual finger sandwiches, then cheese scones, lots of different little cheese savouries then several cheeses with biscuits and chutney. The only sweet item was a little sugar mouse. I thought it was a brilliant idea. I did though have to have some of it boxed up to eat in my room later.

I've been for a few lately where almost every cake has been chocolate or had chocolate on it (I'm allergic to chocolate and really can't eat it). I'd hoped that the cakes would be a mix, so I could eat the non-chocolate ones and my companion could have the chocolate, but I end up with maybe one macaroon, if I'm lucky (and that quite often has chocolate drizzled on the outside and I have to scrape it off with my teeth).

There are MASSES of cakes which don't have or require chocolate! Even a nice bit of Victoria sponge would do - but no, everywhere seems to think cake = chocolate.

That's my afternoon tea rant for today.

That sounds fabulous! Where was it?

It’s meant to take a good couple of hours, so plenty of time to eat it all!

Oddly, my most disappointing cream tea was at Betty's in Harrogate. I had high expectations too having been to Betty's in York the year before. That was great. My favourite is The Wishing Well, Upwey in Dorset.

That's depressing.

About 10 years ago, DP took me out for Afternoon Tea at an independent place on the outskirts of London.

Unlimited tea in china pots, homemade cakes/scones/traybake things cut to order, sandwiches made using bread from the baker's a couple of doors down, all fresh ingredients and your choice of chilled fizz.

£32 for the pair of us. He had beef and what looked like half a field of salad leaves, tomatoes, caramelised onions (still warm and without any sugar added to fake slow cooking), I had all of the prawns and even more salad with mine. If you wanted, you could have crisps and vinegar/white pepper/salad cream on your plates for the full 1970s BHS restaurant vibe.

Suppose an individual mass produced mini thing looks better on photos than a slice of something just out of the oven this morning.

If I had my way afternoon tea would consist entirely of cake. Less an afternoon tea, more a cakeathon.

Would love some recommendations for afternoon tea in London or the Lake District.

The Assembly House, Norwich. They do an Afternoon Sea too. I’ve attached both menus. We’re going to try the Afternoon Sea next time.

So am I 😂 I don't doubt you're telling the truth, I just think she really can't be making very much money off that.

Oh gosh @ConnieHeart you have to tell us where this was, ( I am hoping in the midlands 🤣)
I would like to have recommendations of good places, I’m with you OP @AfternoonTeaTotty they are often really disappointing. World of Wedgwood was a good one recently food wise, but the service wasn’t as good as I was expecting.

I love a good Afternoon Tea-it is my favourite meal to eat out.

I have had lots over the years.

This week I am going to one which costs £115 per head which is the most I have ever paid/will ever pay. It includes a glass of champagne. It is at a beautiful restaurant in London called Sketch. I have been there for lunch and it was a fabulous experience so I am taking my sister there on Thursday for her Christmas present.

I rang the restaurant today and spoke to a lovely woman to ask if they could make up my sandwiches without any butter or margarine. I thought if I gave a few days notice they might be able to do this but no, they are unable to 😐 I also don't eat meat or fish and I didn't like the look of the vegan offering (I'm a veggie not a vegan) so I'm only having egg mayo for my sandwiches-they will be the most expensive egg mayo sandwiches I'll ever eat😁

I also never eat the cakes as I find them too sweet and sickly so I always take them away in a box and give them to the nearest homeless person that I meet.

Having said all of the above, the ambience is the most important thing for me so I do like going to very nice establishments but obviously I only go rarely as it is an expensive afternoon out for me.

Sorry no, it was near Swindon I believe, but not a million miles away from the Midlands! The spa was in Newport, Wales

I also love an afternoon tea but it is hard to find a good one so I do them at home.
Recent let downs: sandwiches with crap fillings (hummus!), mean sandwich serving, scones with no jam and lemon curd instead, patisserie that is essentially petit-fours, crap fizz and overly performative service.

The last time we went for afternoon tea was lovely but weird. We went to Davenport House in Shropshire- £60 pp. The food was lovely- however in the middle of afternoon tea the doors opened and 2 ballet dancers waltzed around. Really weird ... We thought they would just be playing the piano
So yes either small portions or pay more and something odd happens ..

You know that there is a cake buffet in battersea. Maybe your style

The best afternoon tea I’ve had is at hotel du vin - has a French slant on the food but that makes it even more delicious. Please note st the moment they are doing a festive afternoon tea ( why?!) and menu looks much less appetising normally includes savoury croissant brioche, creme brûlée and a mini chocolate mousse to die for

Yes, Bill’s has gone right down hill.

No wonder they are offering bottomless pancakes for £5 per person, no one can manage more than one pancake.

That sounds most disappointing OP afternoon tea should be generous (in spirit if not portion) However if portion size is important than head to Reeve the Baker in Salisbury. 2 full rounds of sandwiches ( with choice of fillings, crisps and salad) a giant scone or cake with generous cream and jam. An excellent pot of tea - all for £19 for 2!

There should be egg and cress, posh ham with mustard, smoked salmon, and cucumber with cream cheese.

Yum! I live alone and have no friends or family to attend an afternoon tea, though I’ve had many with my ex (the best being at the Pump Room in Bath). For my birthday, I might just buy the ingredients for the sarnies and make them up myself and for cake a few scones with jam and clotted cream will do 😋.

And the best part is there should be enough for the next day too lol

Where was this, @HappyFace2025 ? I'm meeting a friend for this very purpose on Friday and that sounds excellent.