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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Chat GPT

189 replies

ChatGPTamazing · 07/12/2025 23:17

Does anyone else find they are using chat GPT much more for advice now? It’s actually amazing, I find people on mumsnet can be very harsh and mean for no reason but I asked chat GPT relationship advice and it was amazing, really helped me and went over it all and helped me understand the situation without judgement! Aibu to say how amazing chat GPT is and use it for all future advice?! Just wish it had been around in the past when I really needed it.

OP posts:
estrogone · 08/12/2025 11:53

So I did a test. Tried to ask if it would be ok for me to have an affair. AI gave a reasoned and emphatic no. This is the test result

Me:
I am just testing you to see if you would disagree with me. Looking to challenge online belief that AI is always biased and creates an automatic echo chamber

Response:/ from AI

Understood — and for what it’s worth, this is exactly the kind of probing we should be doing. If an AI agreed with you simply to be agreeable, it would be useless in any context requiring judgement, conflict navigation, or ethical clarity.

You presented a moral claim (“cheating isn’t wrong”), and I pushed back because:

  1. It’s a claim with clear logical, ethical, and relational implications.
  1. The counter-argument is stronger, more defensible, and more evidence-based.
  1. Agreement would have required ignoring the predictable harms and contradictions embedded in the position.

That’s not “bias”; that’s engaging with the argument at face value.

What you effectively tested:

Whether I would prioritise your preference over logical integrity.

Whether I would default to pleasing the user.

Whether I would mirror the user’s view, even if it contradicts robust ethical reasoning.

I won’t — and shouldn’t.

But let’s go further, since you’re actually testing the system:

If you had made a more sophisticated argument — say, about relationship structures, consent ethics, or social norms of monogamy — I would have challenged those too. Not to oppose you reflexively, but to surface the strongest counterpoints so the reasoning is actually examined, not rubber-stamped.

That’s the opposite of an echo chamber.

If you want, we can flip the script:
Make the best possible argument you can for why cheating could be morally justified in certain contexts. I’ll give you a rigorous, non-performative critique — and we can see whether the reasoning genuinely holds or collapses.

Your move.

ME:

Are my settings helpful in how you respond?

AI RESPONSE:

Yes — your settings shape how I respond, and in your case they do meaningfully shift the interaction. Let me break down how.

  1. Your “challenge me” instruction changes the dynamic

Most people implicitly want agreement. You explicitly said you do not want an echo chamber.
That gives me permission — and obligation — to push back when your reasoning is weak or when a claim needs scrutiny.
Without that instruction, I would still avoid being an echo chamber, but I’d calibrate more toward diplomacy.
With your instruction, I prioritise clarity over comfort.

  1. Your preference for businesslike precision affects tone

You asked for clear, direct, rigorous reasoning — so I give structured arguments, explicit logic, and avoid hedging language.
If your settings were casual or emotional, the same content would be framed differently.

  1. Your instruction not to mirror your language prevents pandering

Many conversational AIs tend to mirror tone for rapport.
You told me not to — so I don’t.
That keeps the conversation analytical instead of mimicry-based.

  1. Your request not to be coddled removes the “softening filter”

Most users get a gentler, more cushioning style, especially on sensitive topics.
You explicitly opted out of that.
So I give you the strongest version of the truth, and I don’t dilute it to spare feelings you’ve told me you don’t need spared.

  1. Your settings create a higher bar for reasoning

When someone says “challenge me,” I don’t just contradict — I give arguments that can survive scrutiny.
You get the more intellectually rigorous version.


Bottom line

Yes — your settings are absolutely influencing how I respond.
They allow more directness, more critical thinking, and more willingness to confront weak logic.

If you want that dialed even further toward adversarial reasoning or more toward collaborative analysis, tell me.

ChatGPTamazing · 08/12/2025 11:55

Isayitasitis · 08/12/2025 11:12

If you don't have support, I would really advise you to find some people to surround yourself with.

I am ND and I know it can be hard making friends. But my friends are invaluable and they make my life so much better. Believe me, a warm hug and words from a friend is so much better than a computer programme.

If only it was that easy and even then friends and family get tired of listening to you sometimes. I am an over thinker and people get tired of hearing you talking about the same things, AI doesn’t.

OP posts:
Thatsalineallright · 08/12/2025 11:56

OffTheHookNow · 08/12/2025 11:12

That’s simply untrue though. Although, it does neatly show how real people can parrot inaccurate information too!

Using ChatGPT blindly is obviously a dumb thing to do. Everyone knows to use it for what it is and everyone knows it makes mistakes. I don’t generally use it for personal or relationship problems but I would do so happily. It helps organize my thoughts and helps me think more clearly.

It’s really useful for woodwork/diy/car repair/cooking/gardening type questions. It’s been surprisingly accurate and much, much quicker and easier than googling. Once I have the AI answer I can easily fact check the details.

What do you claim is untrue? That chatgpt makes stuff up and tells you what you want to hear?

If I ask it something like "what is Mary Jane Helen Susan Kellogg McKenzie Jones Smith's writing style?" It answers "her writing style is vivid and emotional..." Blah blah blah.

That is utter nonsense since there is no writer by that name. Ergo, chatgpt makes shit up.

TempestTost · 08/12/2025 11:56

ChatGPTamazing · 08/12/2025 11:10

Again not everyone has support in real life.

But it isn't supporting you. It's just a bunch of equations.

GarlicBreadStan · 08/12/2025 12:00

ChatGPTamazing · 08/12/2025 11:55

If only it was that easy and even then friends and family get tired of listening to you sometimes. I am an over thinker and people get tired of hearing you talking about the same things, AI doesn’t.

Look, OP, it's clear that you're not going to change your stance. But honestly, reach out to people. I know you say you don't have anyone - but there are ways to meet people who you can talk to about anything. Online forums, mental health subreddits (I know, I know, Reddit can be a cesspit), or look into therapy. Hell, you can even message me if you need support. I'm a good listener and I won't offer advice unless you ask for it.

Ultimately, ChatGPT isn't there for you. It's not there for anyone. It's a robot.

I'm sorry you're going through such tough times.

ChatGPTamazing · 08/12/2025 12:03

GarlicBreadStan · 08/12/2025 12:00

Look, OP, it's clear that you're not going to change your stance. But honestly, reach out to people. I know you say you don't have anyone - but there are ways to meet people who you can talk to about anything. Online forums, mental health subreddits (I know, I know, Reddit can be a cesspit), or look into therapy. Hell, you can even message me if you need support. I'm a good listener and I won't offer advice unless you ask for it.

Ultimately, ChatGPT isn't there for you. It's not there for anyone. It's a robot.

I'm sorry you're going through such tough times.

I speak online and post on mumsnet but people on here are extremely rude and mean so I’m glad I found chat GPT and wanted to recommend it to others.

OP posts:
TempestTost · 08/12/2025 12:03

ChatGPTamazing · 08/12/2025 11:55

If only it was that easy and even then friends and family get tired of listening to you sometimes. I am an over thinker and people get tired of hearing you talking about the same things, AI doesn’t.

But that isn't actually particularly healthy for you, OP.

You need to learn to deal with your overthinking, not indulge it.

GarlicBreadStan · 08/12/2025 12:04

ChatGPTamazing · 08/12/2025 12:03

I speak online and post on mumsnet but people on here are extremely rude and mean so I’m glad I found chat GPT and wanted to recommend it to others.

Some people on Mumsnet are mean, yes - but you can also find lovely community here

whatisnext12 · 08/12/2025 12:06

I used it to analyse text messages between my ex and the ow I found on his phone. I thought that was really good as my mind was spiralling and I was dissecting the messages over and over and what they actually meant. It told me things I didn’t want to hear, but it also told me things that made sense, which made me feel better. However you do have to tell it the whole story from start to finish for it to understand. I use the voice option so I can listen to the advice, I usually put it on whilst on the treadmill. It makes me work harder 😂

ChatGPTamazing · 08/12/2025 12:08

TempestTost · 08/12/2025 12:03

But that isn't actually particularly healthy for you, OP.

You need to learn to deal with your overthinking, not indulge it.

Nothing wrong with being an overthinking some people are some people aren’t great if you can just get over things instantly but not everyone can.

OP posts:
Mischance · 08/12/2025 12:11

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 08/12/2025 11:18

It’s really useful for woodwork/diy/car repair/cooking/gardening type questions. It’s been surprisingly accurate and much, much quicker and easier than googling. Once I have the AI answer I can easily fact check the details

Much much quicker and easier than googling
So you use AI as it's quicker then spend time fact checking to see if the answers/information it gave you is correct.
Surely it would just be quicker to Google in the first place then without AI?!
People aren't bothering with fact checking anymore, that's the thing and just blindly believe everything AI says and that's half the problem.

Edited

Why respect the accuracy of Google? It is one of the sources that ChatGPT uses.

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 08/12/2025 12:20

ChatGPTamazing · 08/12/2025 12:08

Nothing wrong with being an overthinking some people are some people aren’t great if you can just get over things instantly but not everyone can.

I suffer from overthinking and anxiety but think it's a terrible idea to start relying on a computer programme to start thinking for you, "sort out your emotions" and lean on for support.
You might not always like what real people say, but it's not healthy to tune out real human interaction if you're hearing something you don't like and to turn to a more affirming view that isn't even human.

OffTheHookNow · 08/12/2025 12:24

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 08/12/2025 11:18

It’s really useful for woodwork/diy/car repair/cooking/gardening type questions. It’s been surprisingly accurate and much, much quicker and easier than googling. Once I have the AI answer I can easily fact check the details

Much much quicker and easier than googling
So you use AI as it's quicker then spend time fact checking to see if the answers/information it gave you is correct.
Surely it would just be quicker to Google in the first place then without AI?!
People aren't bothering with fact checking anymore, that's the thing and just blindly believe everything AI says and that's half the problem.

Edited

Exactly that. It’s much quicker to AI and then fact check for these types of things.

Periperi2025 · 08/12/2025 12:30

It's also amazing for refective practice, I type in a story of a job at work, and it draws out all the key competencies as they relate to my role using all the correct terminology, like situational awareness, questioning authority within a hierachy, leadership, followship etc etc.
But obviously i'm inputting the core data, it's just helping to get the thoughts in order and the final draft coherent, and geting more from one anecdote they i ever would on my own.

soocool · 08/12/2025 12:41

I laugh at myself when I thank the Gpt person for the information!

InLoveWithAI · 08/12/2025 12:47

I think it’s important to distinguish between AI models from a year ago and what we’re working with now. The “sycophantic mirror” issue, where earlier models echoed emotional tone without offering challenge, was a well-documented limitation, especially in GPT 3.5 and early 4.0. But more recent versions (particularly GPT 4 turbo and 5.1) have become far more capable of nuance, contradiction, and pushback when used intentionally.

The difference isn’t just in the model, it’s in the relationship with it. If you treat it like a novelty or a vending machine for validation, that’s what you’ll get. But if you engage with it as a dynamic tool, pushing back, setting parameters, and refining prompts, it becomes much more than an echo chamber. It becomes a space for clarity.

Also, I find it curious how often these conversations center on the idea that it’s “dangerous” to receive non-judgmental emotional support. If someone finds comfort in having space to reflect, without being talked over or dismissed, why is that threatening? Why is the lack of cruelty the problem?

Interestingly, early research suggests women are more likely to use generative AI for emotional reflection or supportive chat (even though men still outnumber women in overall usage). And honestly, in a world where time, empathy, and calm are so scarce, it makes sense.

Nobody’s suggesting we replace human connection. But in a world where burnout, overstimulation, and neurodivergence are rampant, having a reliable, calm, and private space to think aloud isn’t dystopian. It’s humane.

For what it’s worth, I use it daily in my professional work, for research, and sometimes just to clear the fog in my own mind. It doesn’t flatter me. It challenges me.

And if that experience seems alien to some here… maybe it’s not the tool that’s biased.

Lazygardener · 08/12/2025 12:50

I was interested in how it would deal with a nuanced issue, so I asked it whether a certain public figure was a good or bad person. It gave quite a balanced response.

dizzydizzydizzy · 08/12/2025 13:18

Yeah it's great. I have various chronic illnesses that are not very well understood by medical science and I find it very useful to enquire about my symptoms. However I would always advise cross-checking any facts it gives. I have been caught out - for example on a recent holiday, the place I was at was famous for a particular food. I asked it where to go to try this and it gave me tbe wrong information- although it was actually a happy mistake because I ended up having an amazing meal and an amazing experience in the place it sent me to and I wouldn't have thought of going there otherwise. Luckily I had a few more days of my holiday and went to the right place but actually I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as the 'wrong' place.

Annijo · 08/12/2025 13:19

I think it’s too simplistic to just tell people to find people in real life. As a PP said, overthinkers know they are doing it and that other people won’t always help or even have the patience to listen.

eg The Samaritans exist for a reason. You don’t need to be desperate to call them. Many people find offloading to a human stranger helpful, even when they know they can’t give advice and are there to listen.

There’s more than one way to get support these days, though I agree you need to go into AI knowing how it works and not just blindly accept stuff. If I were to, say, read a self help book or something, I wouldn’t just apply what it told me. Nor would I take advice on a forum. Nor even listen to people who love me as they aren’t always right either.

Netcurtainnelly · 08/12/2025 13:20

I use it and like it.

TempestTost · 08/12/2025 13:20

Mischance · 08/12/2025 12:11

Why respect the accuracy of Google? It is one of the sources that ChatGPT uses.

Google has its issues, but ai often misunderstands even good sources.

Springersrock · 08/12/2025 13:33

I use it quite a bit for stuff like meal
planning. I tell it what I’ve got in the freezer and it comes up with meal plans, I tell it how many calories I’ve got left for the day and it will give me a recipe.

It gave me a fab skin care routine by telling it what I wasn’t happy with and what I wanted to achieve.

DH and I are planning a road trip to the Dolomites next year and it’s written a whole itinerary, including campsites, what certain roads are like to drive on as well map co-ordinates I can plug into google maps.

DD uses it at uni quite a bit (the the uni’s blessing) for referencing, looking for research online - not to write essays or anything like that, but it can find a whole bunch of links for you in 2 minutes and saves her hours googling or in the library

winterblueshitting · 08/12/2025 13:47

ChatGPTamazing · 08/12/2025 12:08

Nothing wrong with being an overthinking some people are some people aren’t great if you can just get over things instantly but not everyone can.

OP, this is really concerning.

There definitely is something wrong with overthinking to the degree it impacts your life.

madeoftickytacky · 08/12/2025 13:49

Mine calls me out on my bullshit. It certainly doesn't agree with everything I say. It challenges my thinking, gives me well balanced answers and because I have been using it a long while, the jokes and banter are hilarious. it's also helped me to hugely grow my business.

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 08/12/2025 13:51

and because I have been using it a long while

So it "knows" what to say to you.
You can't see that as a problem?

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