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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Making Peace With a House That Doesn’t Feel Like Home

4 replies

Radiotwointhecar · 07/12/2025 17:52

Lately I’ve been struggling with this strange, heavy feeling that I don’t really feel at home in my own house. Whenever I think of “home,” my mind still goes straight to the house I grew up in. It still feels like the definition of home to me, even after all these years. My parents sold that house a few years ago so it’s not like I can even visit it,
But memories of cosy Christmases, being ill and wanting to stay at home. Now I can’t wait to go out, I hate being in the house, I feel totally suffocated.

This house doesn’t spark anything within me. It’s small and pokey, not at all what I had imagined my adult “home” would be. We bought it because it’s what we could afford, and I’m grateful we have a place to live, but it’s never matched the picture I’d carried in my head.

What feels even stranger is knowing that this house - the one that feels like nothing to me - will be the place my 7 year old DS forms his core memories. This will be his definition of home. His childhood, his safe place, his stories - all built inside walls that I’m still trying to connect with.

It’s such an odd mix of gratitude and sadness. I want to feel rooted here. I want this place to feel like mine. But right now, it just doesn’t. And I’m trying to figure out how to make peace with that.

OP posts:
NotrialNodeal · 07/12/2025 17:53

How long have you been in this house?

Radiotwointhecar · 07/12/2025 17:54

@NotrialNodeal 7 and a half years

OP posts:
Brightbluesomething · 07/12/2025 18:01

I had this conversation when I was out with friends last night. Many of us live in houses that are just ok but not our forever home or the perfect house we want.
Ive only just got used to mine after 3 years and for much of that time I felt like you.
Your home will be all that your DC knows and they won’t have another reference point.
What goes on inside is what makes it a home. For me that’s the part to focus on, not the bricks and mortar.

NotrialNodeal · 07/12/2025 19:04

You say it's a recent feeling I'm just wondering why you think this feeling has come about? Do you know what's triggered that?

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