To be annoyed with H

[Fedup187]

My husband got up this morning and said he's going for a walk for a few hours. Fine. He told me to have a rest while he was gone but I had lots to do for the week ahead! While he was gone, I cracked on with the weekend jobs, cleaning, washing, tidying etc. plus looking after our son. H comes home a few hours later and announces that he has deadlines that he now needs to crack on with for his business and proceeds to hide himself away in his office, huffing away. Our son by this point is getting bored being stuck in and so I suggest he plays a game with his dad, as I've still got uniforms etc to iron. H said 'ah sorry, I'm too busy and hadn't factored in time to play!' God the whole bloody thing infuriates me! Now, bear in mind, I am part time, 3 days a week. But 100% of home load falls to me, all cooking, all mental load etc. I just felt infuriated that he had time to walk for 3 hours but hadn't 'factored in' playing with his child! I will obviously now play the game with my son but it's really disappointing 😞 if I say anything it's always, I need to work on the business so it continues to do well.

Why didn’t you all go on a family walk?

However, you spent that time tidying - couldn’t you have gone out and done something with your child outside of the house, then got on with the chores later?

Send child with the husband next time, or all
of you go.
Discuss weekend priorities before the weekend so you all get to do something for selves.
I try to get most of the jobs done on my non working days in the week and sometimes after my workday to avoid feeling my weekends are full of chores. This stops me being resentful when my dh inevitably sits on his arse or takes himself off to do something he enjoys

I don' t understand the dynamics: in my household my H wouldn't have unilaterally declared he was going for a walk by himself. He would have put it up for discussion that he fancied a walk and it would have been decided whether DC or me wanted to go with him or not. And what the plans were for after the walk.

If your H just does what he wants without factoring in the rest if the family there is something wrong. You need to have a discussion about working as a team and planning time as such so all the family benefit .Not just him.

Your H is a gold digging, free loader.

He uses you as a maid or "domestic appliance" so he can get rich.

Are you married? If not, then you are in serious trouble financially.

If he were single, he would still have to work, whilst also having to cook and clean etc?

Is this the life you want? Obviously not. Absolutely no one would choose this life.

I'm sorry op.

I suggest every Friday evening discussing plans for the weekend - what work he needs to do, what jobs need to be done, and coming up with a rough plan that includes time as a family and time off for you.

YABU to waste the weekend doing chores
even worst when you only work part-time and you could be doing everything when it's not your own child's day off.

Yes, it's not fair it's up to YOU to plan the family weekend and it should be a join discussion and decision, but you have a child and no plan? Apart from cleaning?

It's tedious to see all these women who think showing mummy being the house cleaner at the weekend as a hobby is being a great role model for their kids. Life is too short for this. And then complain!

If my husband was prioritising house chores at the weekend, I would completely ignore him and do my own things frankly.

oh please, the OP works 3 days a week and choose to do house chores at the weekend. It means she has 2 full days off during the week, when the child is at school.

Doesn't sound like such a bad deal to me 😂
If she was single, would she still have the luxury of days off during the week, and ignoring the child at the weekend?

DH is a tosser

You need to do housework on your days off in the week when child is at school

Hopefully you're married so you're protected financially

Why are you doing housework at the weekend when you have days off in the week?

Hiya
He needs to plan a date night so you both remember why you got together in the first place.

How is he a gold digger? He has his own business, which presumably involves working normal hours during the week, and he's working at the weekend as well. The OP works part time. Presumably if her husband gets rich, she does too. They are married after all. Or are you making up financial abuse as well?

Yes I'm married. I do do home stuff on my non working daya too. I just feel like there's always more to do. Perhaps there's something wrong with me.

How old is your son? Is this a new occurrence or has your dh always been selfish with his free time and it’s only now beginning to annoy you?

I'd look at cutting down or reorganising housework OP to free up more time. How old is your child?

A three hour walk then avoiding you both? Hmm… that in itself sounds a bit odd.

Hows your relationship otherwise? What does he say when you say you need more support around the house?

Does he bring in much more money than you? Can he pay for a cleaner to lighten the load?

Perhaps there's something wrong with me.

Kindly, stop looking for reasons for this to be your fault. Why does his business doing well and 'walking' take priority over other responsibilities he's choosing not to take?

Does your husband ever interact with your son? Or only when it suits him?

As the OP is working part-time, and he works full time plus weekeend, if he is NOT bringing more money, it's time he finds another job fast 😂

Highly recommend the Organised Mum Method. To help you have a house at its best every day, while doing everything very efficiently on a very small window during the week.

Technically everyone could be tidying up and cleaning 6 hours a day. You could always find things to do. Waste of life!

I think you maybe need to have a think about making sure you have time for your own interests during the week and at the weekend. It's easy to make housework take up all of your time otherwise. I make sure I have time for going to the gym and always fit my runs in. I tend to get the housework done quite quickly knowing I have something to look forward to.

How big is your house if house work takes more than two school days? How old is you son?
I don’t think it’s wrong that your husband went for a walk and then has work to do as long as he does something with the family at some point and on the other day.
my husband is self employed and often walks the dogs on his own and then has work to do. He finds time to do something with the kids as well though.
i have a day off in the week to do house work and go for a walk on my own.
if you have two days a week to yourself, I think he should have one at the weekend.
are there other issues?

My dh worked nights last night so I split my day. Cinema and haircut for ds this morning/early afternoon. Home to cook a roast and while in the oven a hoover and Polish. Im now sat in a tidy house, everyone's fed and done something enjoyable so im having a glass of wine.

Plan your days so everyone's happy. And to add I work 5 days a week its not easy but its doable

The freeloading gold digger is benefitting from having a wife who does all the household chores and childcare, while he gets to prioritise his business and also have free time to himself.

I don't think you know what "freeloading gold digger" means 😂

You (not the OP) sound like someone who is prioritising chores and childcare instead of working and resenting everybody else for it, just work for full time yourself?