I just can't be assed anymore!

[Totallybannanas]

I’m just so worn out and grumpy lately. Losing my dad two months ago has made this year really tough, and I’m sure it’s still hitting me. I’m tired of everything, the dark mornings, the cold, the rain. Driving stresses me out, especially at night with the bright lights and endless roadworks.

I hate shopping and crowded places, especially this time of year. I don’t really enjoy being around people, and I only go out if I’ve committed to something. Weekends just feel like chores and errands, and dealing with my dad’s estate is overwhelming. And I can't be bothered with house work. Nothing feels enjoyable right now, and I honestly feel like I could sleep until spring.

I’m still on sertraline, which helped during the time I was caring for my dad, and I’m not ready to stop it yet. As for Christmas, I couldn’t care less. I keep buying the traditional turkey and pudding even though I don’t even like turkey. I feel like I’m just doing things out of habit, stocking up on fancy food I don’t really want, even though another part of me is telling me I should be trying to lose weight. I pay 60 quid a month for a fancy gym, but I have no time or energy to use it. I've turned into a miserable, grumpy cow!

Turkey is minging, don't buy it.
The gym will make you feel better, go (hit the sauna).
Sorry for your loss, life can be shit and traumatic, be kind to your body and mind.

No you are not a miserable grumpy cow.
You are dealing with a lot.
Tale each day at a time, only do what you have to do and be kind to yourself.
Sorry for your loss.

I hear you OP. I feel very much like this right now. I just literally cannot be bothered with any of it, work, Christmas, people. I usually love Christmas too. I had a mild lift just having bought a case of wine for Christmas, but that's mainly just to get me through it all. I have already decided 2026 is just going to be a quiet year. Maybe we just need a rest.

Grief can put a load on your emotional barometer, in a manner of speaking. Life still goes on regardless, so you have to carry on and then you feel less motivated because you can't see the point of anything when you've lost someone so close to you. It becomes a vicious cycle. This is why dealing with estates, assets and wills etc should be made easy given the emotional stress you're already under, but it seems like they are coffin chasers these days. I'm sorry for your loss by the way. Take it easy and don't be too hard yourself. If something just feels too much, step back and don't feel guilty for letting it go just this once.

A lot of people seem very low at the moment - combined with very real tiredness.

I'm not sure what is happening, but it's something.

ETA PS turkey is not nice at all. Buy something easier to cook that tastes better.

Grief is exhausting. Do what you want and not what’s expected and give yourself a break.

You’re grieving… things are going to feel grey for a while. Dial back the expectations you’re piling on yourself. It doesn’t matter if you have turkey or do enough housework or hit the gym. And why on earth would you come off your antidepressants right after bereavement? If anything it sounds like you might want to speak to your GP about increasing the dose.

Thank you for your kind responses. I wasn't sure if this was part of grief, I feel sad sometimes but I'm not finding myself crying but do replay alot of things. I don't know if it's hormone related too and combination of everything. I guess I feel a bit overwhelmed and worn down.

I think its probably a combination of things op. We seem to be barraged by bad news at the moment. Some mornings my phone just seems to have a string of stabbings and bombings and depressing articles.

Are you perimenopausal?

A lack of Sunlight, imo.

You're dealing with the recent loss of a parent, plus wintertime, short days, and holiday expectations. That's a lot when you're grieving.

I'd suggest take some time for yourself and give yourself a treat you might enjoy. Something like a massage or sauna time where you can just relax completely. Scale back the holiday a bit. Cook something tasty. It doesn't sound like this is a good time to stop your Setraline, you're still deep in loss. It takes time and you don't have to rush.

Do you have SAD? One of my kids does and they use a light recommended by their doc.

And I hear you on the lights at night. The LEDs on SUVs are blinding, especially driving a lower vehicle.

Yes, quite right. That's another aspect.

Sorry op grieving is hard, coupled with dealing with estate etc. Do you have anyone to help with that? I'm not loving this time of year either, it seems to magnify everything, good and bad.

YANBU to feel the way you do.

YABU to use the word 'assed' instead or 'arsed' (unless you are in America) 😜

Grieving sucks. I lost my wife in August and have little to no motivation to do anything. Big hug to you @Totallybannanas