To not discuss her birthday with her?

[Chocolatebutton84]

My colleague/friend had a 40th birthday over the weekend. She had been excited about it for ages chatting about the party she was going to have. I presumed she was just inviting her 2 closest friends from work as they socialise often outside of work and didn’t really think much of it, but it transpires she’s invited half the staff. I work with her closely and have invited her to big events of my own, so I feel really hurt she hasn’t invited me. There are a couple of other people who she didn’t invite which I’m surprised about, and she did invite a lot of people who she openly talks badly about. I totally agree it’s up to her who she invites, but would I be unreasonable to basically pretend it never happened? Eg not ask her how it was etc.

How weird of her!

I wouldn’t mention it. I wonder if she will bring it up?! Let us know!!

I'd keep quiet. You are bound to hear from others how it was. Is she popular? She doesn't sound that nice to me.

@Turnitoffnonagain to be honest I don’t really want to know how it was but felt it might be impolite not to ask.. but then it’s impolite for her not to invite me I suppose 😂 she has a bit of a ‘queen bee’ type personality. I can imagine she was probably one of the popular crowd in high school and I think seems to think she runs the show at work, but a lot of people say she is very two faced. I guess she has proved them right and maybe I shouldn’t be so naive about who my friends are at work!

I wouldn't ask her about it and show disinterest if she brings it up

Impolite not to ask? Give over, she didn't invite you when you'd invited her to comparable events! I would not mention it at all. I would also note that she's not really your friend and be polite and professional in future, but not go beyond that. Don't agree to do any favours. You're very unlikely to have them returned.

Make sure you talk loads about your next event and do not invite her.

You certainly shouldn’t invite her to any further events of your own. She sounds odd.

To be honest after this I’ve decided I will be avoiding speaking to her in general outside of work related matters, but I just wanted to check that it wouldn’t be out of order not to ask her about it as I don’t want to seem like I’m ’having a strop’ but equally don’t want her to think I’m absolutely fine with it! But your responses have made me feel like I am making the right decision not to engage with the situation!