I love my partner dearly but I’ve begun to notice that his attitude and decisions negatively impacts important life milestones and events. We’ve got a young daughter together now which has magnified this issue for me. Don’t get me wrong he pulls through most of the time and doesn’t ever see us go without. I perhaps hold onto my vision of expectation a bit as my childhood was difficult and we didn’t have to sort of home life I view now as being so important.
it’s things like the night before we move house he goes out drinking so I’m left by myself to pack, which is fine in one sense as he rarely does and also he’ll manage the transport of big items, but it’s not the positive doing it together picture I had in my mind.
same with Christmas decorations, he’ll say oh we will make hot chocolate and do it all as a family but then when it comes to it he just seems so quiet and down, like he’s being forced into doing something he doesn’t want to do.
when I was in labour we’d fallen out over something silly the evening before and he made me feel so strange and awkward during this big moment. He said to his teenage son how I wasn’t breathing correctly, but basically barely spoke to me or comforted me and when I asked him to hold my hand he said he would but he didn’t want to. After I gave birth, which he was supportive through though it all happened very quickly, he sort of got angry with me for not asking him for help with changing her nappy for the first time but honestly I just felt so span out from the labour and the weird atmosphere, it was like he was just looking for something to pick on. I mean it’s all sort of trivial but it puts such a dark cloud over important memories for me.
Am I being unreasonable and what should I say to him if anything?