Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sad we don’t have a car?

41 replies

ohitssnowww · 06/12/2025 17:06

I have a licence but don’t drive at the minute as my anxiety is giving me panic attacks and I don’t feel safe driving.
My partner is a manager of a company and that includes a small company van (3 seats )
He changed his tax code and it’s around £65 ish a month but includes the insurance paid and also a fuel card.
We can use this van for personal use as he pays for it.
I still would love us to have a car as sometimes driving around in a signed van is a bit embarrassing (I know that sounds stupid )
Anyway my partners argument is why do we buy a car then pay for insurance etc and repairs when we have the company van and we don’t have to worry about petrol etc
My opinion is it would be nice to have both.
Anyone else get it or aibu ?

OP posts:
HardworkSendHelp · 06/12/2025 17:12

If it has wheels and moves it’s good enough for me! Honestly OP use the money for something more useful. Cars are a fortune to run. You are actually lucky to have a set of wheels for 65 quid a month.

Nourishinghandcream · 06/12/2025 17:45

You make no mention of children so I presume that having more than two or three people in the van at any one time is not an issue (although I believe there are restrictions on youngsters in the front of a commercial vehicle).
You also make no mention of how affordable a car would be.

I like a nice car but with the information supplied, I am team van.
Most vans nowadays are well appointed and I guess it is not some old banger with the dashboard & floor covered in takeaway wrappers (white van man)?

You elect not to drive so maybe this will give you the push you need to get behind the wheel again and justify (if it needs justifying) getting your own car.

Wynter25 · 06/12/2025 17:48

Yabu

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/12/2025 17:49

It would be stupid even if you were driving. How is he supposed to drive 2 vehicles though? And on what planet is a company van embarrassing?

washinwashoutrepeat · 06/12/2025 17:50

This can’t be real…

MojoMoon · 06/12/2025 17:50

Of all the things to feel sad about, this does not seem worthy of it.

Is this deflected sadness about your anxiety and inability to drive perhaps?

FullOfMomsense · 06/12/2025 18:05

I wouldn't want to be stuck at home while he's at work in the only vehicle! If you can afford it, I don't see why it's a problem?

Nourishinghandcream · 06/12/2025 18:13

FullOfMomsense · 06/12/2025 18:05

I wouldn't want to be stuck at home while he's at work in the only vehicle! If you can afford it, I don't see why it's a problem?

I think the point here is that the OP is not driving....... has a licence but for personal reasons, elects not to drive.

CherrieTomaties · 06/12/2025 18:13

Let’s say you had a nice car.

Would you drive it?

Or would you expect to be a passenger princess because you’re anxious?

JudgeBread · 06/12/2025 18:15

Why do you even want a car if you can't currently drive? I'm team husband, absolutely zero point having two vehicles in a single driver household.

chalkpaint · 06/12/2025 18:18

It’s sounds incredibly handy to me I imagine you can get all sorts in it ! I also like being high up. And not having to pay for a car is amazing 🤩

SquashPenguin · 06/12/2025 18:22

As someone who has driven company vans for 15 years, I’ve never once felt embarrassed. More like quite pleased with myself as I’ve had a vehicle at my disposal for £60ish quid a month. I must have saved so much money versus owning a car and apart from not always being able to take household rubbish to the tip because it was a commercial vehicle, I can’t think of any times I’ve been disadvantaged because it was a van not a car.

Jimpson · 06/12/2025 18:24

It also depends where you live, if you’re in the middle of nowhere that could be a problem. Not having a car if you live within walking distance of amenities and with good public transport, could be a good thing (financially and environmentally).

Hallywally · 06/12/2025 23:11

Who cares? I used to drive a dented 2012 Peugeot 107 amongst all the 25 plate 4x4 mum wagons. I’m not aware of anyone judging us. When my eldest was young, I was a single mum and didn’t even have a car and was always surprised by the kindness from other more well off mums who would offer us lifts (I never asked). If anyone judged you for having a van, they’re a shallow dick & not worth your time anyway. 🤷🏻‍♀️

FullOfMomsense · 07/12/2025 15:13

Nourishinghandcream · 06/12/2025 18:13

I think the point here is that the OP is not driving....... has a licence but for personal reasons, elects not to drive.

Show quote history

Having a car in an emergency and to have when OP feels ready to attempt to drive again can only be beneficial. Even if she doesn't use it, as I said if they can afford it I don't see why not!

Boutonnière · 07/12/2025 15:54

If his business is disposing of old fish then I could see your reluctance to arrive at a social event with the neighbourhood cats in swift pursuit or if the sign writing on the outside could be ambiguous - otherwise it sounds like a very fine arrangement.

Ddakji · 07/12/2025 15:56

I wouldn’t want a van advertising a company to be my personal car, so YANBU. But if you’re too anxious to drive it, it seems a needless expense.

Arlanymor · 07/12/2025 15:58

It’s a cheap way to own a vehicle, it advertises your husband’s business for free and he’s happy with the situation. And he’s the only one driving. If you were still driving and needed your own vehicle then you might have a point. But as it stands, he is the only driver and he’s comfortable with things as they are.

intrepidpanda · 07/12/2025 16:55

If it does the job that's all you need

Bambamhoohoo · 07/12/2025 16:57

washinwashoutrepeat · 06/12/2025 17:50

This can’t be real…

I totally get it.

i grew up in a family where there was sometimes just a van and hated it. Imagine coming to birthday parties, weddings, schools, whatever, in a work van?!

OP I think you need to make 2026 the year you deal with your anxiety and sort out a car. Don’t wait for a man to do it all for you.

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 07/12/2025 16:59

FullOfMomsense · 06/12/2025 18:05

I wouldn't want to be stuck at home while he's at work in the only vehicle! If you can afford it, I don't see why it's a problem?

Did you miss the bit where she doesn't drive?

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 07/12/2025 17:02

Jimpson · 06/12/2025 18:24

It also depends where you live, if you’re in the middle of nowhere that could be a problem. Not having a car if you live within walking distance of amenities and with good public transport, could be a good thing (financially and environmentally).

But which problem does it fix when she doesn't drive & he can only drive one vehicle st a time & the vehicle he has, has no restrictions?!

Sunshineismyfavourite · 07/12/2025 17:02

Seems a complete waste of money if you're not going to use it. Why is it embarrassing to travel in his van - I doubt anyone would give it a second thought!? I'd be trying to get to the bottom of why you feel like that OP rather than trying to convince him to buy a car that you don't need and would hardly use.

DarkForces · 07/12/2025 17:05

chalkpaint · 06/12/2025 18:18

It’s sounds incredibly handy to me I imagine you can get all sorts in it ! I also like being high up. And not having to pay for a car is amazing 🤩

I read that as 'you could get up to all sorts in it' and came onto applaud the creativity, then reread and realised you meant load it up with the shopping 😂

bizkittt · 07/12/2025 17:07

If you don’t drive you don’t really have a say. I’ve never given a monkeys or noticed what anyone else drives. Seems like a silly expense when only he will be driving.

Swipe left for the next trending thread