Ending a friendship

[Waterhorse46]

Went out last night with two colleagues I thought were friends. One of them I’ve known longer, the other is a trainee she’s recently gotten close to.

Throughout the night I was basically being the responsible one — fixing her shoes multiple times, trying to order her a taxi because she was all over the place, making sure she was okay. In the end she and the trainee just flagged a cab down together and got in.

Not once — did either of them message to check I got home safe. I was stood there on my own waiting for mine.

Then today I see she’s created a little group chat with the trainee, called “Queens” (cringe enough already), and they’ve been chatting away like best mates. She’ll also ring me separately to moan about this same trainee, so clearly I’m only useful when she wants a sounding board.

The whole thing has really upset me. It just felt two-faced, dismissive and like they genuinely didn’t care whether I got home safely or not. And honestly it’s made me question the entire friendship.

To add to it — we all work together, so it’s going to be awkward now, but I just feel DONE. I’m too old for this weird mean-girl energy.

AIBU to cut them off and just stay polite at work? Because right now I’m thinking this behaviour is not what an actual friend does.

Well yes, because they were stupidly drunk. Stupidly drunk people aren’t renowned for making wise and mature decisions.

Can we come back to how you saw this group chat today?

I drafted the post last night then fell asleep so by today I meant yesterday. And yes not a wise decision but to say (my name) isn’t even that stunning in the chat burnt the bridges of a friendship because I have never said a bad word and not only that she broke her shoe and shouted “fix it” at me.

If the post from another thread by you is anything to go by @Waterhorse46 it sounds like you were all ratarsed and maybe accepting that, moving on and being professional at work is the way forward.

Went out last night with two colleagues I thought were friends. One of them I’ve known longer, the other is a trainee oh dear. You should really quit now OP.

Oh, really? 🤔

This is the very childish 3 hikes thing that happens in childhood, whereby, for whatever reason, one decides to annex off the newbie and exclude the 3rd. Usually due to insecurity or jealousy, or because she wants control. 'isnt even stunning anyway' sounds very much like jealousy.

The shouting 'fix it' about her shoe is probably stupid drunkenness but the WhatsApp group is mean.

What you do is rise above it, let them act like kids. Stay friendly for the sake of work atmospheres but don't bother going out with her again..

Op, you need to have another do over on your original post 😭😭

I'm confused!

Are you their manager? Do they live near you? Are they your friends? What's this group chat about?

I am usually against ending a friendship without being upfront and explaining why, but it sounds like you should just focus on your job and finding a man to enjoy

This friend calling you to bitch about the trainee, and then seemingly saying you arent good looking to the trainee, is weird and not worth bothering with

Just distance yourself and focus on yourself, your work and your dating life xx

To be honest I think you’re overthinking this.

They are frenemies yes, but aren’t most colleagues? Most colleagues don’t care about you outside of work. At the moment, you can just carry on as you are and no drama will occur. You know where you stand. Just stop yourself from getting invested in a proper friendship but keep things cheery at work?

They don’t know, that you know all this. You can totally manipulate it in your favour - they don’t realise that you dislike them.

You all sound a bit silly, but your “friend” sounds first of all. Very two faced and bitchy. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who is like that.

Did YOU send them a message if they got home ok? If you also didn’t then why are you mad that they didn’t?

How can rhey check on your safety when they are drunk

You need to explain this whole thing again clearly with all the details.

Hmmmm sounds like attention seeking lies considering your completely different other post!

If I ever join a group chat called “Queens” (non-ironically), I’d hope someone would shoot me to put me out my misery.

All sounds a bit silly. Give them space and don't go out again. What do you get from the friendship? Not much it sounds like. Best to be friendly at work and then just leave it at that.

This all sounds a bit immature to me. I teach teenagers and it’s like listening to their friendship issues. Just focus on your job and be professional at work.

You all sound about 14.