AIBU to expect DH to clean while I’m out with kids?

[needtoforget]

AIBU to be mad my Dh hasn’t done a quick clean in the house while I’ve taken the kids out for three hours? Walked in to the same chaos we left. Would you not expect one to spend 15 mins of his free time to straighten up the house? And specifically without me having to tell him to?

@needtoforget did you ask him to? Does he usually?

Absolutely and I would be really pissed off if he didn’t.

I wouldn’t expect to have to ask him either, as he’s a grown man who should know these things

She shouldn't have to ask!

This has happened to me and I let DH know I was not impressed!

@needtoforget maybe he’s been a work all week and wants some time to himself. I know myself when I’ve had a chaotic week and DH had taken DD out for a few hours on a Saturday morning the house would be in the same state he left it. Because I was having a few hours to myself doing nothing.

It’s too difficult to tell from that info. Is this the only 3 hours of peace he gets? Do you get 3 hours too? Or do you both need to be working in some fashion 24:7 to get by?

Yea he’s been working all week that’s true and he doesn’t get much downtime. But our kids are not tiny anymore and will also for example watch tv at the weekend, so it’s not full on the whole time. He goes to a regular weekly hobby which takes an evening, but other than that no, he doesn’t get much of his own time. I did not assume he’d clean that much or spend much time, a quick 15 mins straightening up would have done it.

It’s definitely been a regular issue that he doesn’t do things like this without being asked to, when I’m out with the kids.

I also work ft but my job is much lower stress and I’m not exhausted by it by any means.

@needtoforget then no if it’s a constant challenge he’s being unreasonable and you need to tell him that.

I get few hours me time at the weekends while he takes the kids to hobbies but I’ll defo clear the biggest chaos in the house during the that time, before I got for a walk or read a book or such.

Whose mess was it? If The kids and they're not little any longer, why wasn't it done with them helping before going out?

Everyone’s…probably mostly kids but he’ll also leave stuff laying around. As do I. So can’t really say it’s was particularly anyone’s. It is true that we should start involving the kids more. They are soon 7 and 5.

YANBU but in his defence, I will often plan to do something but wait and then it doesn’t get done.

He should have cleaned up as soon as you left and then did whatever he was doing but he may have had the intention of doing it and then time went by.

Theres nothing stopping him doing it when you’re all back though.
You both work FT and so he should pull his weight.