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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was this comment rude / bitchy?

14 replies

bluedragon14 · 05/12/2025 16:39

This is probably daft, but I'm a bit worried that I may have unintentionally thrown my manager under the bus, and that wasn't my intention at all! How would you interpret this comment?

My manager is on annual leave today. She mentioned not to worry about her emails or tasks as she would handle everything on Monday. I've been in this job for 5 months, and I've only recently started learning how to do her job so I can cover for her next year when she's away. Her colleague has been covering her work in the meantime. So, this morning, that colleague reached out to me asking for help with a task. I felt pretty confident I could manage it on my own, but she suggested we split it 50/50, which I thought made things a bit more complicated. But since she's my superior, I kept quiet and went along with her request.

Shortly after, my manager texted me saying not to worry and that she would take care of it next week. She hadn't told me about it because she was still waiting for some paperwork to arrive. I assumed she had also told the colleague, so I just left it and carried on with my work. A few hours later, the colleague messaged me again asking if I had done what she requested. I apologised and explained that my manager told me to leave it. I then added, “oh sorry, I thought she had told you as well” with a smiley face. Looking back, I realise how that could come off as bitchy, but I genuinely didn't mean it that way. I swear! It turns out my manager had told her, so I’m not sure why she asked me. I was really thrown off at first because my manager usually communicates so well, hence the reply. The colleague is lovely, but she has a tendency to repeat things (I’ve seen it happen with another colleague), so I'm worried she might say, “oh, bluedragon threw you under the bus on Friday.” My manager has been incredibly nice and supportive, and we have a great relationship, so now I'm feeling a bit anxious.

Am I just overthinking this? Should I bring it up with her on Monday and apologise if it came across snarky or just let it go?

OP posts:
bluedragon14 · 05/12/2025 16:42

Just to add, I really don’t like any kind of workplace drama or conflict, and I do my best to get along with everyone, so this is stressing me out a bit!

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 05/12/2025 16:44

Yes you are overthinking it. Try not to dwell and have a nice weekend.

BeautifulSongsofLove · 05/12/2025 16:47

Your response to your senior sounds reasonable & doesn't read as bitchy to me, try not to worry, I don't think there's any need to bring it up with her on Monday

SameOldHill · 05/12/2025 16:49

As a massive overthinker myself, even I can see that you’re overthinking!

Enjoy your weekend and then on Monday you can laugh at your Friday self!

Greggsit · 05/12/2025 16:49

You're massivly overthinking it. I can't see anything wrong with what you said or why it would have been sen as bitchy.

That said, after you spoke to your manager I would have contacted your colleague to say the piece of work wasn't going to be needed in case she carried on working unnecessarily.

Roofun · 05/12/2025 16:58

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Whatwait · 05/12/2025 17:59

Doesn’t this just mean that your manager had second thoughts about you doing a piece of work for her, whereas she didn’t have second thoughts re your colleague?

Fdsew · 05/12/2025 18:08

Completely overthinking.
The smiling emoji was pleasant.
Have a good weekend.

Doggielovelouie · 05/12/2025 18:10

Not bitchy at all perfectly normal

just move on

Bearbookagainandagain · 05/12/2025 18:12

I don't think you know the meaning of "throwing someone under the bus"...
You're over thinking this.

Ddakji · 05/12/2025 18:14

Sounds fine to me.

bluedragon14 · 05/12/2025 18:26

Thanks everyone! I thought I was being silly but it’s always helpful to hear other perspectives. I’ll try and forget about it and enjoy my weekend.

@Whatwait I don’t think so as she said she wanted to sort it herself on Monday (well, that’s how I interpreted it anyway). I’ve done a few little jobs for her before and she’s always seemed happy with my work. But I could be wrong 🤣

OP posts:
Whatwait · 05/12/2025 18:33

bluedragon14 · 05/12/2025 18:26

Thanks everyone! I thought I was being silly but it’s always helpful to hear other perspectives. I’ll try and forget about it and enjoy my weekend.

@Whatwait I don’t think so as she said she wanted to sort it herself on Monday (well, that’s how I interpreted it anyway). I’ve done a few little jobs for her before and she’s always seemed happy with my work. But I could be wrong 🤣

But she didn’t say that to your colleague. She still wanted her colleague to do the job.

SorryMNR · 06/12/2025 06:40

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