Things will never get better existing not living

[jmh740]

I am 51 work a full time term time only job. DH had to medically retire 4 years ago.
Finances are tight we claimed tax credits and now UC.
Have 5 children between us dd18 and ds 15 still at home.
DD will leave college in July just looked into UC and we get about £500 a month due to losing transitional protection and 1 child element I'm expecting to get no UC when she leaves.
I'm worn out caring for elderly dad and disabled DH I physically and mentally can't work any more.
I feel like I'm worried about money all the time I'm living just to pay the bills I've never been abroad, my cars falling to bits house needs work but there's no money. Feel like all I do is work, care for other or sleep.

My dad keeps telling me things will get better and his life got better at 50 but he took early retirement at 55 and was very comfortable financially, he doesn't realise times are so different now. He keeps telling me ill be well off when he dies, I think his house will take a long time to sell it's full of junk which ill have to get rid of and I wont be as well off as he thinks! And if he ends up in a nursing home will be nothing.
I need a car for work and just can't really afford to be without one but can't afford a new one or wont be able to get a loan. Will lose my job with no car.
Everything feels so helpless. This is not the way I thought life would be.

You have five children, that is where the money's all gone. Embrace and enjoy your children, that's all you can do.

Make sure your father makes a Will.

don’t look ahead for troubles.

deal with your dad dying when he dies.

do you have a lot of your children still at home? I have a much bigger house that I really need but once my youngest finally moves out I will downsize (again) which will free up a lot of money.

if your dad has money can he pay for some of his care?

Surely when your DD leaves college, she will be looking for work and can pay digs?

do you have the option to look for another job that is full time all year rather than term-time only? Or an extra holiday-job (e.g. in a kids holiday camp) that would boost your income.

do you rent or own? do you like the place you live? would you consider downsizing? or taking in a lodger for a few years to boost your finances and let you fix up the house / car.

Is money the primary thing that you are worried about, or are there other factors around the kids growing up / leaving home?