That bloody school is make life hard at this time of year

[Bluebluetuesday]

We're all running about, getting ready fir Christmas, blagging work for multiple periods if time off to attend school events, sending in colour coordinated gifts for the raffle, being harassed by the bloody class rep for teachers gifts etc etc etc.

Then the school send out an email and a text and a Dojo to tell us they've cancelled all the lunch bookings for next Wednesday as it's a special Christmas Lunch and we've to rebook if dc want it.
The bloody lunch on a Wednesday is a cooked dinner anyway, with exactly the same component parts as the bloody Christmas lunch.
It's just so bloody petty and annoying, they seem to be sending 20 plus comms a day at the moment and this has tipped me over the edge

My youngest started secondary this year and it’s really taken some of the stress off this time of year to no longer have a child in primary! I know I’ll look back fondly in the future though.

I don’t think it helps that schools now seem to have a two week period leading up to Christmas that is packed full of events. Back in my day, you brought a board game in on the last day of term and that was it!

I have no idea why schools now do this elongated period of non stop activities given that it stresses parents and staff alike.

Just go back to what it used to be. Wear your Xmas jumper, have your Xmas dinner and play games - on the last day only!

I find all those dress up as an X (the weird one being for maths day - who knew that was a thing) throughout the year as if we have all the time in the world plus the skills to make them. I remember scouring Roald Dahl books to find a bloody mention of a cat as my DD was that for Halloween and I didn’t want to do another costume (I found a very tenuous reference as turns out the guy was not a fan of cats). Anyway Christmas doesn’t seem to be that much more intense - we gave homemade fudge as gifts and hoped they still fit into (and I could still find) their Christmas jumpers. Didn’t faff about the lunch it was an option on the day you didn’t sign up for it. But yea I think what schools imagine are ‘fun’ activities for the kids are really added stress for the parents - inevitably someone forgets and poor Jonny shows up in his regular uniform/forgets the £1 donation or tin of peas for the food bank collection!

You don't have to engage with 95% of this nonsense though. On this count (and this is unusual for me) I'm with the dads. Just think to yourself "What would the average dad do?" and do that, which is usually to ignore all the pointless guilt tripping.

I really don't know why schools do all this OTT Christmas shit if it makes more work for the staff, more hassle for overworked mums parents, and ends up overwhelming the kids.

DS2 is my youngest, and off to secondary in the autumn. I cannot tell you how much I'm looking forward to it.

@BellaBal
yes, why the pdf? It isn’t searchable when I want to go back and find information in my email. It would be so simple to just send all the information as email text. It could even be bullet points.

My kids school are a lot like this at the moment. I have a year one and a year 3 kid, so it's particularly tricky, as the tend to do things in key stage groups. Their comms is all over the place as well

So this week alone I've had separate emails on:

1. 'Dress down day will be on Monday, bring a gift for the Christmas raffle' - that was sent out yesterday.

1. Don't forget to book tickets (by sending back a piece of paper) for the y1/2 nativity which is next week, and send in an outfit immediately. Fortunately the school supply the costumes, DD just needed a black top and trousers to go under it.

1. Also don't forget to book tickets (on an app this time) for the KS2 carol concert which will be at 2pm and 5.30pm. No mention of logistics, what time they have to be there for the evening session, permission to attend, what time it finishes. Oh and only 2 tickets per child for each session, so no taking DD to that session, which means only one of us can go after all.

1. Oh and also, despite Monday being dress down day the whole school is off to church for the afternoon, so please dress the child accordingly. (That one came this morning)

1. And finally, don't forget Monday is flu jab day.

1. And something on attendance as well.

1. Oh and a reminder to top up lunch accounts.

All separate emails. There will be a newsletter one today as well which might cover some, but not all of those, and will have other stuff in too.

Then on the term dates calendar we have - don't forget the 5th January is a PD day.

Then on the separate events calendar - Christmas jumper day is on the 17th, and Christmas dinner day too. If you need to opt out of Christmas dinner do it here (another app)

We have 'news', 'newsletters', and 'updates' on the website - 3 separate spaces for the school to post news, none of which seem to sync with each other, and as above, 2 separate calendars for key dates, (and a clubs calendar too, which I can ignore because my two don't do any school clubs) plus facebook, emails, text messages and the odd bit of paper home too.

It's not so much the volume although that can be a bit much, it's the fact that it comes from so many places, and is as a result, difficult to track and keep on top of. I also deal with a separate after school club who send messages too, and they haven't got the hang of sending one per set of siblings, so I get everything twice from them.

I do like my kids school, they are brilliant in all the ways that really matter, but this comms could surely, surely be improved.

So true! My blood pressure rose just reading this!

I've worked with schools on this and the issue is parents all want different things. Whatever you do someone complains.

I absolutely agree OP, im counting the days till the end of term- we've had 2 non uniform days where had to bring in drinks/food for fayre/raffle, make a christmas lantern, the xmas potato competition, there is dress up last day of term, make tags at home for the tree, costumes for the xmas play, bring in food for xmas party next week - and its actually not as bad this year as both kids are at the same school!!!

Sorry, but the "Xmas potato competition" is making me howl 😆

I love my DD's school. They don't do that much, for Christmas the only thing requiring parental input is Christmas dinner, and on the last day before the holiday it is 'Christmas dress up day', for which my daughter will wear the same festive headband for the third year running. There is a craft session which parents can attend, but it's not mandatory and supplies are provided by the school.

Communications are in the form of 1 message on Friday afternoon which contains everything you need to know for the coming week.

The play was on two days so some parents weren't even attending as they couldn't get time off work for both days. It just shows a lack of understanding of working parents. If it's a half hour play people can pop out and go back to work. Sending them home after means parents need to take a whole day off.

I don't care when the training day is but having it in the same week as the nativity when you've already disrupted parents work with an unnecessary half day is not appreciated.

@Bumblenums here to learn more about the xmas potato competition, please?

OP - yanbu at all. There is a tonne of it; it gets children into a complete hyped up frenzy because it's own clothes day one minute and paint the vicar the next; parents are hit with financial requests/demands from all fronts; and 90% of it feels completely avoidable.

I hear you.

We have 1 casual dress day per month- with a £2 donation to whatever charity it is that time. Then random other stuff. Then a compulsory 'volunteering' week in the summer term where the Dcs have to identify and participate in volunteering activities from 1-4 pm every afternoon. Most Dcs to be frank seem to 'volunteer' at their parents workplaces. Recently we had 'food bank' day where everyone brought in donations. Children In Need (£2 donation). Then a day last week where everyone was to wear odd coloured socks (£2 donation) in order to express support for neuro diversity. Today is the deadline for a chocolate and bottle donation for the Christmas fair. (Sorry, Fayre). Next week is Christmas jumper day (£ 2 donation) and Christmas lunch with further £2 donation to local food bank, plus information evening for those who might go to 6th form and parent teacher interviews (two consecutive nights) and then compulsory church service and christmas carols (next Thursday and Friday nights, you pick one or the other). For us it is 3 nights next week alone where we have to be physically present in the school from 5 pm-7.30.

I'm knackered just looking at the schedule.

And as teachers, we won't bother putting on a nativity, doing a carol service, Christmas lunch, party etc etc to make those magical primary school memories...whilst also juggling all the same shit that you are. We'll just attempt to do maths, English and all the usual lessons right up until the last day of term

YES PLEASE

The rubbish from the primary school was bad enough back in the early 2000s and that was before the advent of email. I can only imagine what it’s like now that everyone can be nagged at the stroke of a key. Sod that

I hate to criticise but since the start of the last school year the school my children go seems to have lost sight of the fact that the vast majority of parents work in some capacity, yet has doubled the number of invites to stay and plays etc and hugely increased the number of requests for sponsorship for various events and payment for trips, theatre visits, end of term discos etc
To say exactly what we’ve been invited to attend next week on top of the school fair, nativity, discos etc, would be outing as it’s so ludicrous, but let’s just say it’s the opening of something small funded in the main by parents providing money everyday for a relatively healthy (but unnecessary) snack provided by the school at break time.
Before anyone jumps in and says that it’s not mandatory to attend/ fund these things - I know but I’ve been to enough of these events to see, despite teachers trying to distract them, just how upset some children are when other parents turn up and theirs doesn’t
What I find most difficult is that the vast majority of teachers, including the head in our school, are working mums yet think it’s OK to send out all these invitations. Surely they must know the difficulty it causes parents when they are invited to attend things in working time
It might be controversial, but my view is that many of these in school hours events are not worth the additional workload they cause for teachers or the stress and upset they cause many parents and children.
Minipie - I’m one parent who wouldn’t complain at all. I know that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy but teachers have plenty to do as it is. A classroom party for the children is enough in my opinion
.

Before anyone jumps in and says that it’s not mandatory to attend/ fund these things - I know but I’ve been to enough of these events to see, despite teachers trying to distract them, just how upset some children are when other parents turn up and theirs doesn’t

Agree entirely. It’s not realistic to say “just don’t participate” - as soon as there is a school event, DC will want to participate and expect their parents to! However if the event didn’t exist, DC likely wouldn’t care…

Exactly, it happens every year. So why make it such hard work?!

I have a lot of sympathy for schools. I’ve worked in head office of a MAT, I know how hard teachers work and how under resourced they are.

But if it’s the case that someone complains whatever you do then schools need to select the most effective, efficient form of communication with clear, simple format and reasonably reliable frequency - something that will suit a majority, but definitely not all, parents - and stick to it consistently. Then let the minority complain and to hell with them.

What’s being described above is either:

• disorganisation and lack of coordination on the part of the school, or
• they’re trying to cover literally all bases with their communication and it’s confusing and leads to over-communication and inconsistency.

The thing is that half the parents will want these things/ complain when they don't happen and the other half will resent them.

But yes we've had three parent drop ins this term in reception and it's been a good thing I'm on mat leave as , as a teacher, I couldn't get time off. I would for a nativity but not for every random thing!

OP was complaining about pta donations and teacher presents though and that's just people trying to be generous/ helpful and can be ignored if needed.

We can’t win as school staff. Some want everything, some want nothing. Most want a balance in between.

this half term for primary school staff is stress central but we do it to make things special for the children. We are adding it all to the already stretched workload but we do it because the children love it. We may not get everything spot on but we are trying our best.

Yes that's pretty ridiculous RE: the nativity sending home. One day if they performed it at 2 I'd understand!

We have two random inset days in May and June on Fridays which is lovely BUT I'm of course teaching that day!

DS has one nativity performance at 2.15- costume provided! So it does vary school to school.

I’m struggling too - lots of us work full time stressful jobs, I can’t cope with the extra workload!

That’s not how comms works