Is this reason enough to move?

[SnugSheep]

We rent a 2-bed house in London. We love the area and don’t want to leave, but our house is driving me mad. We’ve been in it 3.5 years now, moved in just before our eldest was born and now we also have DS (11 months). We’ve signed our tenancy for two years each time, and due to expire early spring.

I’ll be honest that the house has a lot of pros - kind and responsive landlords who want us to stay and haven’t put the rent up since we moved in (highly likely to in spring though), the spec isn’t bad, easy on street parking with permit, and there’s tonnes of good storage. We’re also paying below market rent, though this could change soon.

BUT I’m finding it hard to cope with the cons.

1. There’s no hallway. We have a small front yard, and try to take shoes off at the door (ADHD DH is terrible at this) but everything gets tracked in regardless, especially with the buggy. I despair, more so now DS is crawling. 🤢
2. We’re very tight on space and that’s not going to get better as the kids grow. I’m whatever the opposite of a hoarder is and still it’s overwhelming. I don’t really want to transition DS (poor sleeper atm) into DD’s room (amazing sleeper) either, and as they’re different sexes they’ll need their own space eventually.
3. Downstairs main bathroom off the dining room. TMI maybe but I hate the smells and even with windows open can do very little to stop them! 😩
4. A slate paved yard on two levels that the kids can’t really play in. The slate is cracked in some places and jagged. It’s not an easy fix though as it basically requires a garden overhaul.

DH is more practical. Because we love the area and DD will be going to school locally in September, he wants to make do. I want to move ASAP and I’d even ask the landlord if they’ll let us out early so we can settle firmly in the catchment for our first preference school (which we’re close to but not close enough). They would find a suitable replacement in a heartbeat, even at a much higher rent, so we wouldn’t be on the hook for long at all.

A bigger house would cost us about another £1000 a month. DH argues this would really stretch us and kill any chance of saving for a deposit, but we aren’t saving for one now and will NEVER be able to save that kind of money anyway, not without a miracle. Nor are we mortgageable enough to buy here and continue working in the jobs that sort of demand we stay in the capital or at least a very big city. So I’m trying to look to our future realistically. Renting isn’t going to get much cheaper where we are, so moving now may be the right thing to do.

Of course it could be that maternity leave and being in the house more could just be exacerbating how I feel, but square footage just doesn’t magically appear! Idk if I’m being unreasonable or not. 😕

Neither of you are being unreasonable. Those are all good reasons to want somewhere larger, but finding £1,000+ a month isn’t a trifling amount, and being financially stretched is just as miserable as being spatially cramped.

You say you need to remain in a big city for work, would another more affordable big city fit the bill? Can you agree on a medium term relocation plan?

You will definitely need to move in the medium term so it's really a matter of when, not if.

I think you and your DH need to really crunch the numbers and see whether its best to move now or in a few years.

I would suggest staying put for another couple of years and putting that extra £1000 into a savings account every month. Then you'll know whether it's realistic to take on the higher rent somewhere else (or whether leaving London for a cheaper big city might be better). You'll also have a chunk of savings. If you stay another two years you're looking at £24,000 of savings, if you can stay four years, £48,000 which, if you move out of London, could get you on the property ladder.

Thanks for the perspectives. Moving is something we’ve considered a lot, but we always come back to the employment issue. DH’s work is both freelance and niche, and dependent on a network he’s spent more than a decade building. My work is similarly dependent on networks too, which makes it hard because a move would mean starting afresh in more ways than one. Not impossible ofc but a lot with two young kids in tow. I think if we were going to do it we would’ve made it happen before DD’s application to schools. Once settled, neither of us will really want to move her. Also, we truly do love where we live! It’s such a shame London doesn’t love us
middle-incomers back! 😩 😭

I wouldn't worry too much about moving schools. It's not ideal obviously, but realistically staying in overcrowded conditions or spending their whole childhood struggling financially or having parents who are stressed because of overcrowding/finances is so significantly worse for a child than moving schools that I wouldn't even factor it in as a reason not to move later on (obviously avoid GCSE years!).

Do you aim to buy? What about moving further out in London, obviously don’t know where you are now but z4 is a lot cheaper vs z3 etc.

I wouldn’t worry about schools as there is loads of movement in london.