Hi all. Sorry in advance for the long post.
I am in a part-time office job that, for the most part, I enjoy.
About a month ago, when the manager from our department was on holiday, I asked a question about whether we had a staff wellness programme of someone in a management position from a relevant department. I asked that person, who was chatting to me about work at the time, because the question had just occurred to me while we were chatting, and they deal in that area. That person did not know but helpfully suggested another person in their department who would know the answer better, seeing as they were running a similar programme. I followed up with the second person to ask if it was possible to expand that programme to include the staff. I thought it was a simple question. It turns out that the programme could not be expanded, which was absolutely fine. That person then brainstormed with me about possibilities, and I was delighted with the conversation. It was lovely to speak with someone about support for all staff. The question occurred to me because several staff often spoke in confidence with me about their home life/outside work concerns, and I wondered if we had any sort of support system to help staff navigate troubling times. These were not work-related issues. The staff member who brainstormed with me came up with a simple and brilliant idea. It would not cost anything and would be of great support and information to staff. I was thrilled, thanked her and said that it would be a wonderful solution. No need for anything more. I felt so happy that it would happen. This was all done confidentially, and no names or circumstances were ever mentioned. Then the manager returned from holiday. As part of our catching-up conversation, I spoke with her, outlining all of the steps that had been taken. She demanded to know who had been talking with me, i.e., the names of staff who spoke of their home life situations. I gently explained that I could not betray a confidence, and none of it was work related. I said that if any of it had been work related I would have ended the conversation and directed them to speak with the manager, as had been the case on other occasions. Fast forward to today. The senior manager from the other department, and overall manager of ours, told me that I had crossed boundaries, undermined my manager, and involved myself in something that had nothing to do with me. The staff member who had brainstormed with me had gone to this person and said I put them under pressure and they did not know what to do. As far as the senior manager was concerned, I had directly approached the staff member, without going through proper channels, behind my boss's back. It would not occur to me to behave this way. I am open and honest. I was floored. It took me several moments to even understand what was being said. After more conversation, I outlined the steps I had taken; the senior manager had been unaware of them. I still had crossed boundaries. Shaken, I reflected and then remembered that I had actually said it all to my manager. I approached the senior manager to clarify that I had been completely transparent with my manager. This was news to the senior manager, who had been told no by the manager when asking if I had informed the manager.
Now I just want to resign. I just feel sad and shaken; the trust is gone, and I really do not want to work there anymore.
Thank you for sticking with me this length.
Am I being unreasonable?