To think it's exhausting to do it all?

[Outandabout43]

DH and I work full time Monday- Friday 9 - 5 and I feel like I'm constantly exhausted. Have you rush to school drop off, rush to work, try and cram a full day's work into 6 hours to then do pick up, try finish work with child with me (sometimes use wrap around but can not afford it every day). Have to balance work with 2 million school events. Save any AL to cover school holidays. Saturdays looking after elderly parents (only child), hours drive each way, clean their house, do their shopping. Make sure they have everything they need. Spend much breaks in the week sorting out various appointments and medical issues and then Sunday's me and DH spend trying to catch up on our own housework and shopping.
Have looked into having a cleaner / online delivery for shopping but just can not afford it.

AIBU to think this is impossible?

Yes. I’ve had to take a demotion because I just couldn’t cope any more.

Im thinking about dropping a day at work, I'm thinking with Tax and NI it shouldn't be to much of a drop in wage

Why isn’t your husband doing his 50 percent of childcare?

Your OP reads like he does zero pick ups or drop offs?

He doesn't as he has to leave for work at 6 and isn't back until 3.30. My works more flexible to do the drop off and pick ups. He will then do the reading, spellings etc whilst I finish work, I cook, he washes up, kids bathed and bed, by that time we are exhausted

Get a cleaner and do online shopping for your parents. My dad is 2.5 hours from me. I cannot go every weekend.

Could your parents have a cleaner and have their shopping delivered?

Ive suggested this but they are late 80s and refusing to pay for anything like that which means it would have to come out of my pocket and I cant stretch to running two households

Unfortunately I think you need to have an honest conversation with your parents - you physically cannot be there every Saturday to "help" (ie do every for them). You have a child and they need to spend time with touy. If they are physically infirm they could be entitled to Attendance Allowance which they could use to pay for a cleaner.

For you - online delivery you can buy monthly passes for which we bought for our son when he was at uni. He couldn't hit the minimum basket of £50 per week but had a fortnightly delivery and topped up bread, milk and eggs. He had a 2 week menu plan. You could ask for that for Christmas as a gift from someone. It is £4.99 per month for 6 months for Tesco, delivery after 3pm.

Or you can order click and collect and save yourself the time going round the shop. Again this does need some planning as you are not physically walking around the shop but every time you make a dinner you have planned that so write it down. I had a 3 week menu plan, started with a few days, then 1 week then built up. That is £2.49 a month for 6 months.

Do your parents qualify for any sort of outside help? It can't all be on you all the time. You are going to burn out. Re them paying for the delivery tell them you are not able to do this every weekend. You have a family and they are your priority, your parents can only be stubborn for so long. If you are not there, what would they do? The phrase is drop the rope. There are a lot of threads on the Elderly Parents board about this sort of stuff.

Tesco delivery plan is £3.99 per month for deliveries after 3pm. You can have one delivery per day for multiple addresses. So you could do deliveries to yours and your parents. It would cost more than that in petrol to go to the supermarket. I'm sure other supermarkets have similar deals.

@Treylime I didn't know you could do multiple addresses, that is great to know.

I didn't know about this, thankyou

Why is the shopping more expensive online, unless you aren't meeting the minimum spend?

Eg, I get Sainsbury's slots for £1 or £2, which more than pays for itself in the time, petrol, etc that I save.

Most supermarkets you can use multiple addresses, so even if you pay for a Delivery Saver, it could cover both households.

ETA. I see others have also suggested this while I was typing.

Tesco do have a minimum order charge of £50 (think click and collect is less). If your parents don't spend that every week you could still do a bigger shop once a fortnight and just pick up a few bits the other week.

You doing your parents' online order will save you the drive time. But if they ring the supermarket directly themselves and say what they want, that will save even more time. I know that Sainsbury's have a scheme where elderly people can ring up and do an online order and there are various delivery passes as well.
You say they refuse to pay for cleaners or deliveries. Does that mean they can't afford it or they can afford it but don't want to spend? If the latter, get firm about boundaries.
You need to look at everything you do and look for ways to streamline or delegate. Batch cooking and freezing? Etc.