To want to return this gift?

[NightshirtNightmare]

DH is trying to be more romantic. He’s bought me a nightshirt. The problem is, I don’t ever wear nightshirts and he’s bought a size 16, and I’m a size 10.

His view is that it’ll be more comfy as it’s oversized, but it’s huge, I only like sleeping in pyjamas or naked, and I don’t want it cluttering up my wardrobe!

I’ve asked for the receipt and now he’s faintly sulking. AIBU?

It doesn't fit. Take it back.

Ignore the man-child.

Return the boyfriend and the tee shirt.
Neither fit.

If he thinks that being romantic means buying a nightie that's 3 sizes too big, there's no hope for him 🤣

I could forgive the useless gift-giving if he didn't sulk about it. How unattractive.

People are being a little harsh on your DH, in my opinion. Not sure why people love to jump to "dump him!" for every minor grievance or infraction.

Some men are just really rubbish when it comes to this stuff. Just thank him kindly for the gift while explaining gently that it doesn't fit. If he carries on sulking, just give it to charity or sell on Vinted.

I’m a size 10 and I’d be livid if DP bought me anything in a size 16, it’s not exactly hard to find out what size your partner is, just open their wardrobe or pull something out of the laundry basket. You should go into a massive sulk 🤣

Misread the dh for a dp!
The sulking is awful.
Think long and hard about having children with a sulker.
They are miserable fathers and ruin childhoods.

I've no patience with someone who sulks when they've made a basic mistake.

It's not like he got you a thoughtful gift and you just happened to dislike it, or he made a real effort but missed the mark.

It's the wrong size by miles.

It’s not a great response from him, my DH has bought a few items of clothing I’ve not liked or didn’t suit me over the years and has always been happy to help me return it to get something I like / fits. Of course he’s a bit disappointed but he never makes a fuss about it.

Just say politely "Thank you for my present . . but it is not really ME . . .I would love to choose something from you that I really like and would enjoy wearing otherwise it would be a waste of your money. Would it be okay if you gave me the receipt?"

I think there's ways and means of rejecting a gift, but if you weren't rude to him then he's no right to sulk. It's pretty unobservant to buy you something you clearly don't wear in the wrong size! I'd have said "aaah, that's so thoughtful of you, thanks for thinking of me but it really actually won't stay on its so big, shall I exchange it for something I can wear in bed that fits better."
I think men feel if they buy anything at all we are meant to be incredibly grateful, but if the shoe were on the other foot and you'd bought him a xxxl t shirt, I'm 100% sure he'd ask for the receipt.

He probably doesn't want you to see how little he paid for it and how little thought he actually put into it in every way.

Buy him a shirt that's XXXL for Christmas and tell him you thought he'd like the spare room.

Wow. This is terrible. I mean this whole thread of comments is overwhelmingly heartless. When someone buys you a nice present, you smile warmly, say how lovely it is, and say how thoughtful to buy the bigger size for comfort. If it’s really an unwearable size, you say how disappointed you are that it’s not quite the right size but perhaps you can exchange it for a better size. Although an oversized nightshirt is not too much of a problem in this respect really. If it was a very expensive or hugely impractical present I’d perhaps understand having more of a blunt talk, but come on, it’s just a nightshirt? Would it have hurt to accept it graciously? I understand his upset TBH. I’m guessing he won’t be bothering again- was that the aim?

You must have very low self-esteem if you think a nightie several sizes too big is a 'nice present'.

I’m sorry I have to disagree. If someone actually wants to buy you a ‘nice gift’ especially clothing the very least they can do is bother to find out your size. OP shouldn’t have to be grateful for him putting minimal effort in. And if he gives up after this that says more about him than it does about OP.

This just sounds like you’re bragging about being a size 10. Do you want us all to tell you how tiny you are and how ginormous a size 16 is?

Jesus. Really? I hate to break this to you but everyone really should be politely grateful for any effort put into a present that has been gifted to you. It’s the absolute bare minimum expected in a present exchanging situation in most cultures around the world.

If OP can’t offer polite gratitude to a reasonable present they are very much the mean spirited ones. His point about sizing up is actually sensible in nightwear (even if went a little too sized up) and does show some thought. Honestly, I get vibe that size is important to OP and getting a size 16 when they are a size 10 is a bit of a trigger for something.

It’s threads like this that make incels look like they might have a point occasionally. 🙈

Say "look, I'm not gonna wear it in bed, but we can use it as a tent for camping, next summer" - at least you both might get a laugh out of the situation🛌😴 ⛺

It really does suck to buy someone a gift that you think they're going to like, and they want to return it. It hurts your feelings. Especially if you have great big sulky man baby feelings.

But, OP does not wear this type of clothing, and it is many sizes too large. For that reason, saying, "wow, I appreciate the thought, You wanted me to have something cozy and comfy, vbut I can't wear this, let's go get something together that I would love" ... And then do that. Go shopping together and it doesn't matter if the item is a piece of nightwear, lingerie, or big fuzzy slippers, whatever OP feels comfy in and she'll enjoy and when she wears it, she'll remember where it came from, that's what's important.

Imagine having such low self esteem that you think people should measure their worth against the things they are given as presents. I mean honestly? It is the 21st century you know. Are mums who smile and say thank you when they receive a birthday present of utter tat purchased from Poundland by their 10 year old, suffering from low self esteem for accepting the rubbish present with warmth and gratitude?

High self-esteem is about feeling confident enough in your self-worth to not get upset over a nightshirt and to be able to frame it as a reflection of the partners poor observation skills rather than a reflection of what the partner thinks about the OP.

Are you sure he wasn’t given it from somewhere , he’s got your size really wrong if he’s gone to a shop . I’d take it back tbh

Imagine having such low self esteem that you think people should measure their worth against the things they are given as presents. I mean honestly? It is the 21st century you know. Are mums who smile and say thank you when they receive a birthday present of utter tat purchased from Poundland by their 10 year old, suffering from low self esteem for accepting the rubbish present with warmth and gratitude?

High self-esteem is about feeling confident enough in your self-worth to not get upset over a nightshirt. This means being able to see that a less than desirable gift is a reflection of the partners poor observation skills rather than a reflection of what the partner thinks about the OP.

Typical man response that size 16 (the average size of a UK woman) is soooo huge it’ll make a tent. I pity your wife - heaven forbid she should gain a pound or two if this is how you feel about body size.

Was intended as a quip, the OP said it was huge.

Good grief, that’s a level of sensitivity seldom seen, 👀