Been seeing a guy for 2 1/2 years. We were friends for around eight years before this so we were not strangers.
A few months after we started seeing together as a couple, I met his kid was around his kid went out to eat with them etc and he met mine. His ex found out that the child met me and she went mad stopped him from seeing the kids and we’re just always bring me up so for a whole year I didn’t see the child at all. He also never mentioned me again and would ignore any questions about me so he never confirmed that he was still with me. This was because she has formed for stopping him seeing the child childhood and for abusive messages emails and being abusive verbally in person. She’s also likely to do things like call my employer and potentially show up at my house. So it wasn’t just about hiding me it was in a way protecting me as well.
Recently her behaviour has escalated and Police have had to be involved as well as a Mental Health assessment for her. He also filed a C100 form so that she can no longer use the kid as a weapon.
The Police and Social Services are on his side and he now has a child full-time and a child is having no contact with the Mum until her mental health is
addressed.
However, he is still hiding me at his girlfriend. At this point, I don’t care about being hidden and I just want to have a normal relationship, Be able to be around his son like normal stepparents. Since it all kicked off, I have been around the son but it’s just weird. There’s no introduction and I am always kept in like another part of the house. He saw some people the other day that are connected to the ex and he told him that he was single. This was a bunch of women, so of course it really pissed me off.
I want to say to him that after this long being with you decide what you want. She can no longer weaponise the kid because the C100 form has gone in and so this will be going to court and he’s got very adequate grounds ror a set in stone contact arrangement. I want him to be public with me. I want him to introduce my child properly and just tell her that yes we are together if she answers again. Just rip the Band-Aid off rather than pretending to her and pandering to her bullshit.
I want him to tell his kid who is seven years old that I am his girlfriend. Rather than me just being in his house, we have no introduction and just feeling weird to even talk to him because I’ve been hidden for so long.
At this point, I want to walk away if he doesn’t agree to this. But equally, I don’t know if I’m being unfair on him. He actually has been a victim of her abuse for over a decade And so he had done whatever he could just keep his head down and not Aggravate her. Despite this, she still gets aggravated. I’m sick of her controlling him and therefore controlling my life. The kid is happier full-time with the Dad, The Dad wants the kids full-time. He’s not stopping her from seeing the child just wants the court to make her adjust her mental health and get proper support and set up an arrange arrangement order.
Am I being unreasonable to insist on this? Should I be more patient? If he sees a future of me, surely now is just the time to start as we mean to go on?
I’m aware that he’s going through a lot right now Having to switch the roles and become the full-time parent with no respite at the moment. I’m helping with all the legalities, but since this all started, I’ve been feeling a bit pushed out a little bit because his stance seems to be changing and it’s like he wants to be secretive again about me.