To be tempted to pull a sickie?

[ofthelandandsea]

And yes it’s morally reprehensible but …

Work in a school, so can’t take annual leave or anything like that, and it’s my DDs first school play Friday.

My school won’t let you have time off for anything like that; they just won’t, it’s just no, no, no. It’s similar if a teacher needs to leave the site during the day, you just can’t get out.

I really am tempted to say sod it and say I’m unwell.

OP, the key is to make it not a “one day” thing. For a couple of days before, complain about something (tickle throat, headache, etc). If you wear makeup, wear less of it. Maybe even have a deliberately late night one day before you call in sick so that you look rough. Call in and say you’re off to the doctors. Take the day off after. When you go back in, no makeup, lots of hot drinks and lemsip. Say you’re on antibiotics for a throat infection or sinus infection. Wear a mask to the okay so you’re harder to identify. It’s really not difficult to do!

There are many many jobs where parents can't take time off to watch daytime plays/sports days/events at school, it's not teacher specific by any stretch of the imagination, and no, there shouldn't be a moral obligation for teachers to be able to go.
I think I went to one event over the course of their schooling for each of my children, because that's all I could manage. Pulling a sicky never crossed my mind.

Do you know how many hundreds of thousands of people use this site? And how many millions of others have never heard of it?

It’s like when people won’t say their husbands hobby as it’s “outing” (it’s cycling. It’s always cycling).

I’m sure there isn’t a network of head teachers reading crappy forums and cross referencing with who has called in sick.

I’m not normally one to advocate sickies, and I’m actually in HR so really so I should be firm on this.

However I do think that managers / businesses reap what they sow, and in this case their inflexibility has come back to bite them. The mature way to deal with this is to let you go, of course they should. Being flexible where possible will always benefit employee and the employer in the long term.

So, you can take it ‘from HR’ that I think you should go. And if that means a sickie, so be it.

And as a parent, having seen the faces of the small children when they come in at the start of the play, they’re all immediately scanning for their parent or person. The crestfallen looks from those with no one there, they’re awful to see. I would go for your daughter as much as yourself.

I'd absolutely do it, you are not going to lose your job over 1 day sick, who says you have to be flat on your back throwing up to be ill? 4 people out my team of 5 have had between 1-3 months off in the last 6 months, they were off with stress/anxiety (our job isn't remotely stress/anxiety inducing, we have plenty to do but it wouldn't send you off sick). We also get full pay when off sick. Im pretty sure they left the house in that time. If you are stuck for an excuse use one of these? There's no way to disprove how you feel and doing something relaxing would help.

Or arrive in work and go home with a headache or something. I will be pulling a sicky at somepoint to get my christmas shopping done/presents wrapped with the kids out the house, I work remotely and the rest of my team/division are scattered all over the country. I want to save my leave for when my children are off. I don't do it a lot, but I also don't feel bad either, I don't really ever have time off sick as I work from home, I've had a sickness bug and been known to be sat at my desk with a bowl next to me.

As long as you don't have repeated absenses don't worry.

Yes, you really need to lay the foundations in advance for a sick day.

It’s tough work, but it pays off. I even got sent home by my boss one time and told not to worry about the next day. I wanted a bafta For that, it was quite the performance. (I’d never feel guilty about a job. My BIL put his all into his job for 30 years. Died of a heart attack attack in his sleep once night and a temp was in the next morning and the job advert out the next week).

I think it is somewhat unfair to not allow you leave, given you are not asking to miss a class you are teaching (in which case, it would be understandable that your employer would decline leave if there would be difficulty getting cover). However, it does carry its risks- you think it highly unlikely you will be caught- and you’re probably right about that. But, it’s not impossible. I know someone (different profession) who called in sick and was seen out and about an event in a totally different town in the next county- she was sacked in the end. Of course, I agree that this is genuinely unlikely and many, many people do it without consequence. I just think you have to acknowledge the vague possibility and be ok with the outcome, if it were to happen. And given you are only calling in for one day, it’s not like you can use the defence of I’m not able to work but able to get out (as you might be able to argue if you were off with depression or a broken ankle).

I think the other issue you need to think about is that there are going many events in the coming years that you might miss due to work commitments-are you going to fake illness for all of them? I’m a Dr and I absolutely get the guilt about not being there for these things. I used to feel sad about missing out, and worried they’d be upset, even though one of us or a grandparent always tried to make events. Despite this, I know there were things my DC would have wanted me to be there for, that I just could not get to. But, I was certainly not the only parent in thst position, my children weren’t the only ones where only one parent was there, or just granny and/or grandpa- or on occasion, no-one was able to get there. It’s part and parcel of being a working parent, especially in some professions and it sounds like you need to either make peace with that (even if not about this particular event) or find a different work around- e.g. if other schools are more flexible, then perhaps look elsewhere; or reduce your hours if financially viable. Because you certainly can’t call in sick for every event- employer will eventually notice a pattern or your sick days will rack up and be noticed.

Yes, I’ve done it before and don’t feel guilty about it. I was a trainee solicitor, on minimum wage. They let me go at the end of my training contract with no warning and refused to sign off on my work experience until I got the SRA involved. I have no regrets.

she might be seen by other teachers pulling sickies.

Do it.

Unflexible employers bring this upon themselves.

You can self certified for up to 7 days.

Also more generally being off sick also does not mean you can't leave the house...

I worked for a MAT that was very strict. But everyone had time off for their children’s first nativity.
We actually had 2 HOD married to each other so that caused some issues that morning they were off but no one complained. It was treated as special, which it is.

Lots of bugs around at the moment…

Does her father also teach with the same restriction? Or can he go and you work?

OMGGG ignore the negative comments and GO TO YOUR CHILD'S PLAY!!! She will remember you being there for the rest of her life. Taking one day off sick wont affect anything! I moved to this country only 3 years ago and I actually find it disgusting how work-obsessed everyone is. Not everything revolves around work!!!! Taking one day off for a family member is the only correct thing to do.

It's gross misconduct and you're letting down other peoples kids.

Without wishing to sound sassy, you need to really consider how important these events are for you. They were really important to me so I have a job with that flexibility (but I work long shifts so I miss a lot of after school stuff)

Being real, you say its just this one as its her first but mum-to-mum, you won't want to miss any of them.

Missing the day to day moments during term time is unfortunately the trade off to have school holidays off.

Parenting is a constant process of trade offs x

It's gross misconduct and you're letting down other peoples kids.

Without wishing to sound sassy, you need to really consider how important these events are for you. They were really important to me so I have a job with that flexibility (but I work long shifts so I miss a lot of after school stuff)

Being real, you say its just this one as its her first but mum-to-mum, you won't want to miss any of them.

Missing the day to day moments during term time is unfortunately the trade off to have school holidays off.

Parenting is a constant process of trade offs x

I think it would be wrong to lie. You can't be the only parent who's unable to go because of work. DC has to learn that people have responsibilities and can't always do as they please.

Thing is you wouldn’t need to be seen. The dates of your DD’s nativity will be easily available, probably on the internet, in a newsletter or just by phoning the school and asking. It would only take one mildly suspicious member of the SLT to call your DD’s school (I really doubt you haven’t told people where she’s gone or where you live) or look online and then put two and two together. And if you’ve been to the nativity then that pretty much is proof that you’re not ill, the school wouldn’t need to do much else to bring disciplinary proceedings.

Is there no one else who could go to your DD’s nativity? I do think it’s a shame that your school is not very flexible but I guess a big school has to draw a line somewhere otherwise they’d have staff here there and everywhere most weeks.

I also think you can be honest with your DD, that your job means that you can be off with her in the holidays and work part time, but term time events in school hours are very difficult.

I do sort of think that you can’t have it both ways- I can take the day off for a nativity for example but come the summer holidays I will be using clubs for at least half the time as my paltry leave won’t stretch very far.

I would also ask for an evening/ after school performance next year.

And you think it is acceptable for a school to have to pick up that cover cost? A supply teacher through an agency £200 per day (incl agency fee)? I regard you as unprofessional.

Has your child got another parent or close family member who could watch her instead? I get that you want to be there, but surely if this about her then at least having someone there to wave at her from the audience would be nice for her.
There are going to be many more school day occasions coming up over the years, so if you continue as a teacher then this is going to happen a lot. I agree with what others said about suggesting to her primary school that they put on evening performances whenever they can.

Oh well. Schools should do more to support their staff.

I'd keep in mind if a trouble maker gets wind of it they could cause you problems and some people just can't help themselves.

No, they won't. Lots of people don't routinely lie to get time off.

Do it, but say it’s an appointment and just go in late.

Your school are being v. short sighted. My school now allow these things as long as you organise your own cover for the couple of hours that you will miss. This has had such a positive impact on staff well being and has reduced absence massively.

Firstly, what does PPA mean?

Secondly, please don't pretend to be sick. It's one thing which was drummed into me when I was a child - you never say you are ill/sick if you aren't - it's tempting fate. I can honestly say I have never done it.